…whilst at work ■■?
It got me thinking today when one of our drivers went to Barnsley from Manchester with the wrong trailer.
I think we’ve all delivered 1 pallet too many, or whilst stood behind the cab hitching up wondered why the ground has started to move !!! 
So, come on,own up, what have you done ■■?
way back in 1996 after coming out of the army I had a job driving a 7.5 tonner delivering flour and other foodstuffs all over the place to bakers, one day I managed to lose the entire contents of a 1000litre tank of glycerine after accidently knocking the tap on with the pallet truck pulling a pallet off at a drop
at the same place the other driver had a drop in Newcastle under lyme ,he rang me up asking where it was as he couldnt find it after asking loads of folk , trouble was the dopey git was in Newcastle upon tyne doh
OK, my numpty moment…
On training in Gloucester with 2 lads in the artic, me in the passenger seat instructing. We need to do a left from London road into Bruton Way.
Two lanes, n/s goes left only other goes right onto Bruton Way & ahead (pedestrianised). Traffic light controlled by seperate sets of lights.
Left set goes green about 2 mins before right set.
We need to be fully in right lane to do the turn (and not to impede traffic that can turn left) but if anything in right lane then we have to wait in it with no indicator on.
3 cars in right lane with all lights on red. left lights go green and we wait.
No traffic now in left lane and our lights go green but cars slow away so we get caught on red again but still in a straight line in lane.
Left lights go green and all traffic clears - we wait & wait & wait… then one of the lads says “why do we have to wait til our light goes green, we are not going through it” ME = 
going up a stupid steep hill (lost) in melbourne in a 14 pallet rigid with 4 pallets of sugar on (in 25kg bags) on a very wet morning, truck completely ran out of steam half way up the hill (old F7), started frantically changing down gears to no avail until i reached first, and jumped off the clutch to stop her rolling back on the cars behind me, heard a massive bang from the back, kept going till i got to the top of the hill
pulled over, went back to have a wee look to find a pallet after bursting through the back doors, wedged there, with about 20 bags of sugar all over the wet ground, and a very terrifiied looking but relived car driver slowing driving past me.
had to strip the pallet myself in the torrential rain, then pick the bags up off the wet ground, then try and strap the doors shut before making the “well boss” call
oops
Along the lines of the wrong trailer………
While I was working in Denmark about to do an event tour for Post DK. We set off in a car from Vejle on Jutland passing the production truck on our way to Ringstead. We were there in good time and rang Renie who was driving the truck to see how he was doing and he said he was just about to cross the Storbaelt Bridge and in a truck with a trailer that’s best part of £100. I hour later he arrives and backs up to the Kongress Center and opens the doors………. This is not our production and a few phone calls back to the company to see what has gone wrong.
I can tell from the gear in the back that this is on a tour with a band from Denmark and as far as I knew they were playing in Oslo as some point soon. The phones calls back result in us finding our trailer is attached to a truck waiting in a queue to board a ferry to Sweden. Renie is ordered back to base crossing the bridge again and the Norway bound truck is ordered out of the port were they meet somewhere in the middle and Renie crosses the bridge yet again 10 hours later.
We had a production day, so no gig to worry about, so apart from the fuel and hiring the local crew for a night shift, Renie chalked up £300 of bridge crossings and almost constant ribbing for the rest of the tour. The other truck picked up another driver along the way and took the direct route to Oslo on a more expensive crossing.
Friday afternoon, and I had spent the past few days driving a hire van for Crisis (the homeless charity) last Christmas in London. My time was over, so I caught the train back home (with my bicycle). I took the Waterloo-Salisbury-Bristol route, as it’s often significantly cheaper than the “standard” Paddington-Bristol one, although it takes about 40 minutes more.
I was in the quiet coach, so turned my mobile off.
For some reason, I don’t remember why, I stopped off at Woolworths in North Bristol to buy something. I put my hand in my pocket to get the keys to lock up my bike, and pulled out the keys to the van…
Turning my phone back on revealed a series of increasingly desparate voicemails trying to work out where the van keys were…
I think my Dopey Moment was at Fowler Welch’s in Spalding
Every night week in week out it was a 3 or 4 hr wait for my backloaded trailer, went in one night and Fiona on the Tesco Desk say’s trailer such n Such it’s on the trailer park and gave me the paperwork 
Hitched up in shock and opened back doors to see half loaded trailer and thought thats light but nowt unussual so off I went back to Gateshead
Parked up in Cafe for couple of hours coz I didn’t want to get back too sharp, anyway gets to Scotch Corner about 5.30am and phone rings, did you call in at Geests coz they say the 12 pallets for Tesco Livingstone are still there
Ah Well, even security missed the sticker on the paperwork saying “Collection Geest”
Worst thing I did. Had a huge pallet of tiles for a big tile warehouse so I got there and opened the curtain and waited for the forklift…“No forklift here mate!”
Ok, I have a tail lift but I couldnt get it to the back because of other pallets in the way and no room to move them. I said I would go back later.
Got back at 6pm, found the bloke and he waited by the side of the lift. The ■■■■ pallet would hardly move it was so heavy but as soon as it got on the (knackered) taillift it dropped about 6 inches and suddenly the pallet was going downhill fast!
It went straight through the security plates on the taillift and smashed to bits on the ground next to the bloke.
All he said was “never mind, they can sort it out in the morning”
What’s the biggest ■■■■-up/stupidest thing you’ve ever done?
Making a post pretending your the site manager !!!
You have a PM… ! 
(original content edited by Rikki as off topic)
Doing a trunk to Manchester from Glasgow for 2 months solid, then one night was told the following night would be going to Aberdeen.
On autopilot stayed on the M74 forgot i wasnt going to Manchester got to about Lockerbie and thought [ZB]! Boss wasnt too happy to say the least.
working for parceline at the time, i’d finished a long day (just before xmas) and was rushing to get home for my tea, see the girlfriend etc. To save time i put the fuel pump on auto then went back to the cab to finish some paperwork. Paperwork done i think i’ll just back out of the warehouse and park up. Hazards on start my reverse to see one of the loaders running at me waving arms shouting at me. Unfortunately i realise too late i stil have the fuel pump nozzle attached to my van but the nozzle is no longer connected to the hose. OOPS!!! big puddle of diesel and a very red face
One night in 2001 while working in the best job I ever had (City Foodchain ), I went down to Brackmills to pick up a trailer of fizzy drinks on dollies for Tesco at Middlewich.
Once on the dock it didn’t seem to take long for them to tip the trailer and I was soon at the desk collecting my paperwork. The desk jockey informed me that half the load was missing. Not a lot I can do about that me thinks.
Back at the truck I pull off the bay and go to close the doors of the fridge trailer and sure enough in the dimly lit gloom I can see the white of the headboard.
Approaching the M6 roundabout while on the phone to the TM, I touched the brakes and an almighty bang was heard and the truck lurched forward like I had never experienced before. Not realising what was happening I thought that this was going to be a very scarry trip home 
This happened a couple more times before I stopped a couple of junctions down the motorway to investigate and opened the trailer doors to reveal the missing half a load of unrestrained fizzy drinks hiding behind the insulated drop down separating door
Another quick tale from the City Foodchain diary was one night while I was being tipped at Tescos in Milton Keynes ( i forget the name of it, but it wasn’t the new one). There was two of us down there chewing the fat while our loads of Cadbury Trebor Bassett were being unloaded, when another of our trucks turned up driven by an agency driver.
A little time later both our green lights came on and we went to collect the paperwork. approaching the desk the pen pusher asked which one of us was on door 11, to which we replied neither but we’ll go and get the driver for you.
The driver duly went to the office to be asked why he has brought 26 pallets of frozen jelly babies to be tipped
He had turned up at our yard and after collecting his paperwork and coupling up he had noticed the fridge wasn’t on and without asking turned it on
Needless to say the load was refused
Trying to answer questions on this site about drivers hours and the WTD especially when Coffeeholic is nearby with loaded gun
Taking my HGV 1 all those years ago 
I once loaded Tar at a very slow plant in Ellesmere Port. I parked it under the bin and went into the hut for a cuppa.
Once loaded I pulled out and threw the sheet on. I went round onto the weighbridge, got my delivery note and pulled off the bridge. As I did so, I noticed in my mirrors a small pile of black stuff on the weighbridge.
I’d forgotten to shut the tailboard when I washed out. Was a sod of a job to close the tailboard because the tar was still trying to come out and the plant manager wasn’t too pleased at the mess I’d made. I didn’t go there much after that.
me and a mate flew into the uk and had to pick up two coaches and drive to harwich to pick up a load of people coming by boat. both coaches needed fuel and off we set to the garage. we pulled up either side of the pumps and fuelled away. after about 10 gallon mine clicked off then i realised without looking that id gone and filled the oil tank up (dry sump engine) the filler being in the same place as the diesel tank but on the opposite side.
after my mate ripped the pee out of me i decided best thing to do was to carry on.
got there and back ok, oil pressure was a lot lower and the engine had a good clean out.
he still reminds me about it every so often. 
driving a low loader with a detachable front end swan neck.
The neck was held in place by two large pins with rings on the top.
Parked up on a slope and proceeded to uncouple neck to load a machine from front.
Could I shift the pins, no way!
Finished up with a 7 foot iron bar in the rings and levered one out, started on the other and as it came free the trailer bed slid gracefully down the road with me stood on it holding the iron bar like a Gondolier… untill the air lines parted
First time I went to Palmer and Harvey, Coventry. Went out in a chilled / frozen 7.5t. Had a quick check of the back but was OK I thought. Hadn’t been told that it was my job to secure stuff down or anything like that.
It was, litterally, my first day!!!
Anyway, remembered to take the power lead off the truck and was shown by another driver to start the chiller engine and then off I went.
Got to the first drop to find some numpty when loading it had put cages of frozen stuff in the back, half empty, then put trays of Yogurt on the “shelf” at the back. Needless to say these had slid off and were now rapidly refreezing onto the floor. With care I “lifted” the frozen pool of yogurt and stacked it near the fridge section and stuck the remains of the packaging to one side. This was all destined for the first drop, which was refused anyway as the shopkeeper wanted me to offload it all and the office told me it was COD and not to unload until I had the monies.
When I returned I handed the crates over to them and a 4ft wide “wheel” of frozen yogurt that was nice and solid, and the bag of rubbish. I did point out to them if they send out a newbie with a load like this then it’s their fault as much as mine…
I still went back though
Had to ring my (now ex) wife up at 2am on a Monday morning to ask her if she would bring me my passport to Dover from Diss. When she did turn up she handed me my passport and wheel spun off without saying a word. It took buying a lot of perfume on the boat on the way home to make it up!