there was this young girl from the west country and she was going on her first date…her mother, concerned ,warned her to be careful as she knew what boys were like but decided to let her go as she was only going to the pictures…well the young girl arrived home at 10.30pm and her mother was waiting for her…
Mum: so how did you enjoy yourself ?
Girl: oh mum, it was great he paid for my bus fare and when we got to the picture place he paid for that too, and the ice cream
Mum: and did he behave himself ?
Girl: oh mum, yes he did, and he bought me a packet of maltesers, an i put them in my pocket, and anyway we got 2 seats right at the back, in the corner, it was ever so dark…
Mum: so what happened then ?
Girl: well he put his arm around me…an i laughed…and then he put his hand up my frock…and i laughed…then he put his hand inside my blouse and i laughed…then he put his hand inside my bra, and was feeling all around…and i couldnt stop laughing…
Mum: and why was you laughing so much when he was doing those things to you ?
Girl: well mum, i think he was looking for those maltesers, but they was in my pocket all the time…
Very Good truckyboy
Well trucky boy… I heard of the same mother and daughter … it was her second date…
The daughter came sweeping down the stairs, ready to meet her date as he rang the doorbell.
Her Mum took one look at what she was wearing, a see through blouse, with no bra underneath, and told her daughter that she was NOT going out with her ‘rosebuds’ on display.
The daughter replied " chill out Mum… these are modern times… you have to let your rosebuds “show” and with that she went out the front door.
The next day, the daughter had arranged to have her friends come over, and when she came downstairs, her Mum was sitting in the front room with no top or bra on. The daughter explained to her Mum that she had friends coming over, and that it was not appropriate …
The Mum said “Listen darling… if you can show off your rose buds… I can show off my hanging baskets”
Very good follow up runaroundtel
Charlies Holiday
Kath the psychiatric nurse is doing her rounds late one night & happens to pass by old Charlie’s room. As Kath peers into his room she sees Charlie sitting on his bed "VROOMMMM BRRRRRRR VROOOMMM "
She puts up her thumb as if hitching a ride and says “Excuse me Charlie But what are you doing hon?”
Charlie pretends to pull to the kerb & roll down his window… "Oh hello dear. Well I got to thinking. Its been a while since I had a hoilday so I’ve decided to go to Mablethorpe for a couple of weeks "
Kath smiles & replies, " Oh Charlie thats great. Now you drive safe & have fun. See you in a couple of weeks"
Charlie drives off.
Kath walks out of his room and hears strange noises coming from Bill’s room next door.
She opens the door to discover Bill on the bed ■■■■■■■■■■■■. 
Aghast she says… " Geez Bill what the heck are you doing & with the door opened."
Bill takes a break, looks at Kath & replies… " Well while Charlie is on holidays in Mablethorpe I’m keeping his wife happy "
Anymore these are funny.