50 things a women can't do

OUT OF HOURS BULLY'S TRUCKSTOP BAR (INTERACTIVE)
1

tin hat at the ready :laughing: :laughing:

50 THINGS WOMEN CAN’T DO…

  1. know anything about a car except its colour
  2. understand a film plot
  3. go 24 hours without sending a text message
  4. lift
  5. throw
  6. run
  7. park
  8. ■■■■
  9. read a map
  10. rob a bank
  11. resist Ikea
  12. sit still
  13. tell a joke
  14. play pool
  15. pay for dinner
  16. eat a kebab whilst walking
  17. pee out of a train window
  18. argue without shouting
  19. get told off without crying
  20. understand fruit machines
  21. walk past a shoe shop
  22. make a decent bacon sandwich
  23. not comment on a strangers clothes
  24. use small amounts of toilet paper
  25. let you sleep with a hangover
  26. drink a pint gracefully
  27. get a round in
  28. throw a punch
  29. do magic
  30. like your friends
  31. enjoy ■■■■
  32. eat a really hot curry
  33. get to the point
  34. buy plain envelopes
  35. take less than 20 minutes in the toilet
  36. sit in a room for five minutes without saying “I’m cold”
  37. go shopping without telephoning 20 mates
  38. avoid credit card debt
  39. dive into a pool
  40. assemble furniture
  41. roll a bogey between finger and thumb
  42. set a video recorder
  43. not try and change you
  44. watch a war film
  45. understand why flirting results in violence
  46. spend a day by themselves
  47. go to the toilet by themselves
  48. buy a ■■■■■ that fits in their pocket
  49. choose a video quickly
  50. get this far without having argued with at least 1 of the above

only a joke ladies

taxi for jonboy :laughing: :laughing: [/b]

2

This has some cunning ideas…

HOW TO LOSE YOUR JOB:

  1. Tell your boss the reason you were late was because you fancied a [ZB] before work.

  2. Stumble back from lunch, two hours late, [ZB] as a ■■■■ chanting 'The
    Venga Bus is coming…"

  3. Ask the chief executive for some Rizlas.

  4. Grow a cannabis plant on your desk.

  5. Tell the boss you’ll “Send the boys round” - if they don’t authorise
    your pay rise.

  6. Admit you traded in your company car for a two week [ZB] fest in Ibiza.

  7. Set up your own ■■■ dungeon in the stationery cupboard.

  8. Bring a sleeping bag to work for those little afternoon naps!

  9. Pawn your computer because you’re skint till pay day.

  10. Ask the boss’s wife “Have you noticed that one of your husbands [ZB]
    hangs lower than the other”.

  11. Call the boss to your desk, call him “Sonny” and tell him his work
    isn’t up to scratch.

  12. Start a one-man/woman Mexican wave every time someone leaves their
    desk.

HOW TO KEEP A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY AND DRIVE OTHER PEOPLE INSANE:

  1. At lunchtime, sit in your parked car and point a hair dryer at passing
    cars to see if they slow down.

  2. Page yourself over the intercom. (Don’t disguise your voice.)

  3. Insist that your e-mail address be:
    'xena-goddess-of-fire@companyname.com’

'Elvis-the-king@companyname.com’

  1. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with
    that.

  2. Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronised chair
    dancing.

  3. Put your waste bin on your desk and label it ‘IN.’ (This is a ‘must do’)

  4. Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.

:sunglasses: Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over
their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

  1. Reply to everything someone says with, “That’s what you think.”

  2. Finish all your sentences with “In accordance with the prophecy.”

  3. Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the brightness level lights up
    the entire working area. Insist to others that you like it that way.

  4. Don’t use any punctuation

  5. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

  6. Ask people what ■■■ they are.

  7. Specify that your drive through order is to go."

  8. Sing along at the opera.

  9. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don’t rhyme.

  10. Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits.Wear
    them one day after your boss does. (This is especially effective if your
    boss is the opposite gender.

  11. Send e-mail to the rest of the company to tell them what you’re doing.
    For example: “If anyone needs me, I’ll be in the bathroom.”

  12. Put mosquito netting around your cubicle.

  13. Five days in advance,tell your friends you can’t attend their party
    'cause you’re not in the mood.

AND THE FINAL WAY TO ANNOY PEOPLE:
22) Send this e-mail to everyone in your address book, even if they sent it
to you.

Was this post aimed at trying to get the record for [ZB]'s ■■?
Not quite enough though :wink:
POST EDITED- ATKIG11

3

:laughing: pmsl :laughing:

regards

kev

4

One thing women can’t do is write their names in the snow :laughing:

5

I’d like to argue with a couple of points Vince. A few women I know throw a right nasty left hook and I’m sure one could[ZB]out the train window if she tried :astonished: .