Evening Classes

[coffeeholic]

For Women.

Note: Due to the intense nature of the course material, each session has a maximum of eight participants.

Topic 1: Silence, the Final Frontier: Where No Woman Has Gone Before

Topic 2: The Undiscovered Side of Banking: Making Deposits.

Topic 3: Parties: Going Without New Outfits

Topic 4: Communication Skills I: Tears - The Last Resort, not the First

Topic 5: Communication Skills II : Thinking Before Speaking

Topic 6: Communication Skills III: Getting What you Want Without Nagging

Topic 7: Telephone Skills - How to hang up in less than 30 minutes

Topic 8: Driving a Car Safely: A Skill You CAN Acquire

Topic 9: Oil and Fuel: Your Car Needs Both

Topic 10: Introduction to Parking

Topic 11: Advanced Parking: Backing Into a Space

Topic 12: Compliments: Accepting Them Gracefully

Topic 13: Classic Footwear: Wearing Shoes You Already Own

Topic 14: Household Dust: A Harmless Natural Occurrence Only Women Notice

Topic 15: Integrating Your Laundry: Washing It All Together

Topic 16: Cooking: How not to Inflict Your Diets on Other People

Topic 17: TV Remotes: For Men Only

If anybody, i.e. a female anybody, is looking for me you haven’t seen me.

[bananaman]

Just to balance things out (and stop women complaining)…

Evening classes for men:

1.) How to fill ice cube trays - step by step slide presentation

2.) Toilet Rolls; do they grow on the holders? - Roundtable discussion

3.) Differences between laundry basket and floor - Practicing with hamper

4.) Dishes; do they levitate/fly to sink or dishwasher by themselves? - debate amongst a panel of experts

5.) Loss of virility; losing the remote control to your significant other - Help line and support groups

6.) Learning how to find things - Starting with looking in the right place instead of turning the house upside down whilst shouting “It’s not there!”, “You’ve moved it!”, or “We’ve run out!” An open forum.

7.) Empty Milk cartons; do they belong in the fridge or the bin? - Group discussion and role-play.

8.) Bringing her flowers is not harmful to your health - Powerpoint presentation.

9.) Real men ask for directions when lost - Real life testimonial from the one man who did.

10.) Is it genetically possible to sit quietly as she parallel parks? - Driving simulation.

11.) How to be the ideal shopping companion - Relaxation exercises, meditaion and breathing techniques

12.) Remembering important dates & calling when you’re going to be late - bring PDA or calendar to class

13.) Getting over it; learning how to live with being wrong all the time - Individual counsellors available