Eighty-Seven things a woman can’t do: (and counting)
- Know anything about a car except its colour
- Understand a film plot
- Go 24 hours without sending a text message
- Lift
- Throw
- Run
- Park
- ■■■■
- Read a map
- Rob a bank
- Resist Ikea
- Sit still
- Tell a joke
- Play pool
- Pay for dinner
- Eat a kebab whilst walking
- Pee out of a train window
- Argue without shouting
- Get told off without crying
- Understand fruit machines
- Walk past a shoe shop
- Make a decent bacon sandwich
- Not comment on strangers clothes
- Use small amounts of toilet paper
- Let you sleep with a hangover
- Drink a pint gracefully
- Get a round in
- Throw a punch
- Do magic
- Like your friends
- Enjoy ■■■■
- Eat a really hot curry
- Get to the point
- Buy plain envelopes
- Take less than 20 minutes in the toilet
- Sit in a room for five minutes without saying “I’m cold”
- Go shopping without phoning 20 mates
- Avoid credit card debt
- Dive into a pool
- Assemble furniture
- Roll a bogey between finger and thumb
- Set a video recorder
- Not try and change you
- Watch a war film
- Understand why flirting results in violence
- Spend a day by themselves
- Go to the toilet by themselves
- Buy a ■■■■■ that fits in their pocket
- Choose a video quickly
- Conserve electricity, water or any other form of energy.
- Admit they are wrong
- Not try and undermine you
- Let you make your own decisions
- Agree with you
- Use common sense
- Make a major change to the world for the better with an invention
- Construct a floor plan
- Remember something that isn’t for them
- Win something
- Walk out of a store with stuff they didn’t plan to get before they walked in there
- Get something done right the first time
- Call anyone ‘mate’
- Stay In The Kitchen
- Stay quiet for longer than 1 minute
- Find Madeline McCann
- Cook.
- Stop making their husbands lives hell.
- Get married and still give a ■■■■■■■.
- Have their money ready before they get on the bus.
- Clean out a tropical fish tank.
- Get ready in the morning without making a racket.
- Choose suitable footwear
- Post lists and pretend they’re jokes.
- Compliment other women.
- Find your mates are good company for you.
- Take it up the arse without moaning about it beforehand
- Open a jar.
- Ask you to open a jar without then making a comment such as ‘I loosened it for you’.
- Keep track of something and not loose it
- Listen
- Make a right decision other than having ■■■ with you
- Be the best
- Win five Olympic gold medals without steroids
- Interact with anyone they haven’t known for at least a year.
- Light ■■■■■.
- Get this far without having argued with at least 1 of the above.
- Drive
i cant drive, or rob a bank or tell jokes, it was just a bit of fun 