Just drinking a tea in cab , gone down the wrong way
And it’s everywhere , I spend two hours today polishing , dusting so as new for weekend , thought sit back and relax ,there’s tea running down the screen 
Go on I’ll be the first.
Good job it was you that cleaned it in the first place.
Rags water and polish .
Next time don’t drink in the cab
nick2008:
Go on I’ll be the first.Good job it was you that cleaned it in the first place.
Rags water and polish .
Next time don’t drink in the cab
Yea your right but can’t remember doing it before , didn’t fancy sitting inside Cambridge srvs , but will do next time
My worst mess?
I have a regular drop at this place which has a realy tight yard. There is only one place where you can turn around. One day, some twunt had parked his telecoms van really close to the turning area, and when I hit his van with my trailer, he tried to blame me…
the nodding donkey:
My worst mess?
I have a regular drop at this place which has a realy tight yard. There is only one place where you can turn around. One day, some twunt had parked his telecoms van really close to the turning area, and when I hit his van with my trailer, he tried to blame me…
Thats shocking trying to blame you for hitting his van.
Apart from the predictable ■■■■ all over me bunk and cab rear lining it has to be the time my milk bottle fell over in me fridge and leaked out.
No worries I thought I’ll just pour it out and get the wetwipes on it but low and behold whilst reaching round to grab me fridge I managed to catch it on the seat and milk spilt everywhere.
To this day I can still smell off milk if I try hard enough.
this went flying off at the 1st roundabout after leaving the depot…nightshift polishing the floor!
should have waited until I got to somewhere with a hose but thought it would dry in…pantomime trying to clean it off in a layby…wiping the mat on the grass etc 
I knew that it was going to be a close call but I always like to line the seat before I sit down. I’d put down a couple strips of loo roll ( usually takes 5 ) when I realized I was in trouble. Trousers and undies down before the explosion but not enough time to pull up the polo shirt…and of course; they come off over your head.
All those adverts warning you not to, and yet you STILL drink and drive!!
Dipper_Dave:
Apart from the predictable ■■■■ all over me bunk and cab rear lining it has to be the time my milk bottle fell over in me fridge and leaked out.No worries I thought I’ll just pour it out and get the wetwipes on it but low and behold whilst reaching round to grab me fridge I managed to catch it on the seat and milk spilt everywhere.
To this day I can still smell off milk if I try hard enough.
No point crying over spilt milk. Can help with the first problem !
ChrisArbon:
I knew that it was going to be a close call but I always like to line the seat before I sit down. I’d put down a couple strips of loo roll ( usually takes 5 ) when I realized I was in trouble. Trousers and undies down before the explosion but not enough time to pull up the polo shirt…and of course; they come off over your head.
you do what ?
seriously - WTF you on about - is this since they stopped handing out carrier bags for free, I think I would want more than 5 sheets of loo roll may be a few newspapers?
not that I 've ever went in the cab, its beyound me how some can do that, prefer the great outdoors and if the weathers bad under the rear axles but never in the cab.
Anyhows - the worst mess I ever seen a cab in - if anyone can remember the primus paraffin stoves, the ones you had to pump up, then light with meths and the little pricker thing. Well anyway he was using one in the cab (complete nutter) and before it got warmed up it shot out a plume of burning parafin that set fire to the inside of his roof. He got it put out but the roof lining was toast (literally) and it got left in the lay by. When he explained to his boss what had happened, his boss said ‘does the truck still work’ which it did, so his boss just told him to get on with it. for about the next 6 months the cab roof was dripping condensation on him every night, what a zb-ing mess
The worst mess…
Travelling up the M1 on my way to Newcastle one night, I was going through one of those 15 miles stretches of roadworks, and traffic was heavy. I pulled into a very narrow lane 2 to pass a line of lorries when my guts gave me a familiar feeling, an urgent need to pass what felt like a lot of wind. So, I tightly gripped my steering wheel and leaned forward at a 2 o’clock position so my left buttock would raise a little. I squeezed lightly, then a bit more, but nothing. So I squeezed harder; nothing. So I gave it full boost, and I’ll leave the outcome to your imagination. I still thanked the James Irlam driver with my indicators though, for flashing me in, so I didn’t forget my roadside manner.
Bluey Circles:
ChrisArbon:
I knew that it was going to be a close call but I always like to line the seat before I sit down. I’d put down a couple strips of loo roll ( usually takes 5 ) when I realized I was in trouble. Trousers and undies down before the explosion but not enough time to pull up the polo shirt…and of course; they come off over your head.you do what ?
seriously - WTF you on about - is this since they stopped handing out carrier bags for free, I think I would want more than 5 sheets of loo roll may be a few newspapers?
not that I 've ever went in the cab, its beyound me how some can do that, prefer the great outdoors and if the weathers bad under the rear axles but never in the cab.Anyhows - the worst mess I ever seen a cab in - if anyone can remember the primus paraffin stoves, the ones you had to pump up, then light with meths and the little pricker thing. Well anyway he was using one in the cab (complete nutter) and before it got warmed up it shot out a plume of burning parafin that set fire to the inside of his roof. He got it put out but the roof lining was toast (literally) and it got left in the lay by. When he explained to his boss what had happened, his boss said ‘does the truck still work’ which it did, so his boss just told him to get on with it. for about the next 6 months the cab roof was dripping condensation on him every night, what a zb-ing mess
WHOOSH , there it goes 
ChrisArbon:
I knew that it was going to be a close call but I always like to line the seat before I sit down. I’d put down a couple strips of loo roll ( usually takes 5 ) when I realized I was in trouble. Trousers and undies down before the explosion but not enough time to pull up the polo shirt…and of course; they come off over your head.
It’s a lot less bother when you hover
ezydriver:
I still thanked the James Irlam driver with my indicators though, for flashing me in, so I didn’t forget my roadside manner.
The follow through manoeuvre
We had a driver who refused to use the loos abroad, he would spread paper on the bottom bunk drop a walnut whip, then sling the lot in a bin.
He did this until he had a bad bout of Jupiter induced bottom treacle and pebble dashed the bunk and the back liner of the cab.
Grumpy Dad:
We had a driver who refused to use the loos abroad, he would spread paper on the bottom bunk drop a walnut whip, then sling the lot in a bin.
He did this until he had a bad bout of Jupiter induced bottom treacle and pebble dashed the bunk and the back liner of the cab.
I’m gonna hazard…
A guess that Jupiter is actually called Jupiler biere.
yourhavingalarf:
Grumpy Dad:
We had a driver who refused to use the loos abroad, he would spread paper on the bottom bunk drop a walnut whip, then sling the lot in a bin.
He did this until he had a bad bout of Jupiter induced bottom treacle and pebble dashed the bunk and the back liner of the cab.I’m gonna hazard…
A guess that Jupiter is actually called Jupiler biere.
Cheers that’s what you get for auto correct 
flat to the mat:
Bluey Circles:
ChrisArbon:
I knew that it was going to be a close call but I always like to line the seat before I sit down. I’d put down a couple strips of loo roll ( usually takes 5 ) when I realized I was in trouble. Trousers and undies down before the explosion but not enough time to pull up the polo shirt…and of course; they come off over your head.you do what ?
seriously - WTF you on about - is this since they stopped handing out carrier bags for free, I think I would want more than 5 sheets of loo roll may be a few newspapers?
not that I 've ever went in the cab, its beyound me how some can do that, prefer the great outdoors and if the weathers bad under the rear axles but never in the cab.Anyhows - the worst mess I ever seen a cab in - if anyone can remember the primus paraffin stoves, the ones you had to pump up, then light with meths and the little pricker thing. Well anyway he was using one in the cab (complete nutter) and before it got warmed up it shot out a plume of burning parafin that set fire to the inside of his roof. He got it put out but the roof lining was toast (literally) and it got left in the lay by. When he explained to his boss what had happened, his boss said ‘does the truck still work’ which it did, so his boss just told him to get on with it. for about the next 6 months the cab roof was dripping condensation on him every night, what a zb-ing mess
WHOOSH , there it goes
Whoosh to my mate setting fire to the interior of his cab roof or do you mean whoosh to my lack of understanding to what chris was trying to explain ? I’m still not quite getting the latter
Putting my lattee, on dash, then moving off a bit to swift, bloody stuff everywhere.