Two Irishmen are walking down the road alongside a churchyard. They start reading the inscriptions on the stones.
Suddenly Paddy cries out “Sure and begorrah, there’s a bloke here who was 152, so he was!”
“Bejaysus!”, says Seamus. “What was his name?”
So Paddy replies “Miles, from London”.
paddy says to murphy,do you know christmas day lands on friday this year,murphy replies,i hope its not the 13th.
Paddy phones EasyJet to book a flight. The operator says “And how many people will be travelling with you?”
“I don’t know” says Paddy. “It’s your ■■■■■■■ aeroplane!”
An Irish mate of mine went to Cambodia & had to borrow money from people to live - he had a good Debit card but wouldn’t put it in the ATM machine because it said ‘Which language- Cambodian or English?’
It didn’t say Irish so he thought it wouldn’t work. True…
Joke of the Day
An Irish policeman in Liverpool found a dead horse in Cazneau Street.
Not being too sure how to spell Cazneau Street he dragged the beast into Lime Street. 
harry:
Joke of the Day
An Irish policeman in Liverpool found a dead horse in Cazneau Street.Not being too sure how to spell Cazneau Street he dragged the beast into Lime Street.
Lol, I have seen that one about a Glasgow policeman, a drunk, Sauchiehall Street and Rose Street!
Whats a 7 course meal for an Irishman?
A 6 pack and a potato
A man goes to the doctor & prods himself all over - everywhere he touches he is in agony. ‘Are you Irish?’ says the doctor. ‘Yes.’ ’ Thought so, your finger is broken.’
Paddy Englishma, Paddy Irishman and Paddy Scotsman were up for 100 lashes apiece In Saudi Arabia for various Crimes. The Judge on Duty gave them each one wish before the lashing commenced. Paddy Scotsman asked for a pillow to be straped o his Back. After 20 lashes the whip had bursed the pillow and he was screaming In agony.
Second up was Paddy Englisham, And thinking that he was far smarter than Paddy Scotsman asked for 3 pillows as his wish, They lasted 70 lashes and Busted and he too screamig in agony at the end.
Next up was Paddy Irishman, when asked what he wished for, he calmly asked "“for 250 lashes.” The judge shocked at this granted his wish but also granted him another, as he believed no one could survive the 250.
“would you like 5 Pillows to be staped to your back Paddy Irishman?” the Judge asked
“No” Says Paddy Irishman, “just strap that Englishman to my back…” 
an irish building firm has come up with a solution to keep the snow off heathrows runaways - build a roof over them…