Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a ■■■■■■?
A. A ■■■■■■ can wash her crack and sell it again.
Q. What's a mixed feeling?
A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.
Q What’s the height of conceit?
A. Having an ■■■■■■ and calling out your own name.
Q. What's the definition of macho?
A. Jogging home from your vasectomy.
Q. What’s the difference between a ■■■■■■ and a golf ball?
A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball
Q. Do you know how New Zealanders practice safe ■■■?
A. They spray paint X's on the back of the sheep that kick!
Q. Why is divorce so expensive?
A. Because it’s worth it!
Q. What is a Yankee?
A. The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.
Q. What do Tupperware and a walrus have in common?
A. They both like a tight seal.
Q. What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common?
A. Their balls are just for decoration.
Q. What is the difference between 'ooooooh’and ‘aaaaaaah’?
A. About three inches.
Q: What's the difference between purple and pink?
A. The grip.
Q. How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?
A. It’s not hard.
Q: How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
A: Kick his sister in the jaw.
Q: What’s the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
A: 45 pounds.
Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
A: 45 minutes.
Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A: Breasts don’t have eyes.
Q: If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love?
A. The swallow.
Q: What is the difference between medium and rare?
A: Six inches is medium, eight inches is rare.
Q. Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?
A ... They don't have balls to scratch!