I know these were in the Sport today but not all of you wil have seen them 
Whats the difference between a clever, smallest pig of the litter and a ■■■■■■■■ transmitted disease?
ones a cunning runt and the other…!!!
Woman goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot, but they are expensive. She asks the owner if she has any cheaper ones. He shows her one thats only £10 but warns her that it used to live in a brothel so might have some strong words in its vocabulary. She buys the bird and takes it home. It uses some choice language but nothing too bad. The husband arrives home and the wife uncovers the parrot as a surprise. Parrot says “hello John havent seen you in a while!!!”
