I reckon this has been done to death, but here goes, my gaffer just said I might be going to Italy soon, so, to all those in the know, whats my best bet to be aware of, helpfull tips ect as ive never been before!
Mal.
Hi Mal. Kenny here.
If you go via Swiss, bear in mind the following:
The “people” who work in the offices at the borders have actually been shipped onto Earth from another planet. They are bred on another galaxy and fed raw meat and sour milk from birth. This is shipped to them from earth (via ups - or dhl if next day is required). They are then taken and dropped onto the north pole - this is so they get frost bite and totally unable to smile or show any expression representative of kindness whatsoever. They are then collected by an Austrian truck pulling a fridge (they have to be placed inside the fridge to maintain their smug looks). The reason it has to be Austrian is because most of the Austrian lorry drivers also come from the same galaxy and are able to communicate with them. After learning a few differant languages, they are thrown into the offices to deal with us lot. So if they act a little strange to you - this is the reason why. Just don’t ask them how they are or anything about their well being and definately don’t smile or be any way decent to them. Where they come from, any form niceness is offensive and may result in you being exterminated. So beware!!
I know it’s not very constructive. If there is any in particular you want to know, let me know. As posted on someone elses topic about the same thing, the other fellas on here are far more experienced than me, but I have been going down to italy quite a bit recentle and have picked up a lot.
cheers. kenny manning
Well it gave me a laugh Kenny! 
Ive come across folks like that in the UK, so I’m prepared…sort of!
I reckon finding good places to park up safe might be a tough one for a greenhorn?
Mal.
hi mal its the same old advice just beware of were you park personally i tried to stay well clear of milan and the glasshouse i use cariso if it still there where are you going in italy
The itailians.
hi mal refer to my reply under the post italy
Its much the same as here Mal in that there are some rough places where its inadvisabe to park- parts of most big cities have high crime.
The massive majority of Italy is safe to park in, in my opinion anyway.
I did Italy solidly for two years, and I still do a couple a year and I have never had so much as a slashed curtain.
Its Italian drivers who will be your biggest problem. The death rate on the road is three times higher than ours and the only surprise to me is that it isnt even higher!
Vince
Thanks for all replies so far, Ive taken it all on board! 
He actually mentioned it again today, has to see someone that reckons 3 grand per trip. I dont know where though, as I didnt ask. He also said he’d run out with me for the first one as I said I’d do it, but it would be in at the deep end. I’ll keep you posted.
Mal.
Mal:
He actually mentioned it again today, has to see someone that reckons 3 grand per trip. .
Sounds about normal for a round-trip.
It`s a lovely drive, Mal, all over the mountains and that… if you get the chance to do it then just do it.
Well, in my opinion anyway.
Vince
Vince:
It`s a lovely drive, Mal, all over the mountains and that… if you get the chance to do it then just do it.
You know what Vince, if he actually takes the work on, I will, I reckon I’ll love the experience enough to offset the learning curve hassle and the trepidation!
Mal.
Good luck Mal.
Last year I did Frankfurt which was my first trip over the water.
I loved it!! 
I was supposed to be doing Bologna next month but it’s been cancelled. 
I’m now looking for a job that goes over the water more often.
Any offers??
Ad
flub007:
I’m now looking for a job that goes over the water more often.
I think you would have to change your signature!
Vince
No problem…
Just got to keep searching for that job now 
If you don`t mind travelling, I was told this week that Sealane are after drivers.
Vince
Good luck with the job search Flub, I dont even know if my gaffer will take the work on yet, as it has to pay well, but one thing is for certain, he likes over the water work and if the right job comes along, its a definate.
Mal.
Just back from my second Italy trip in as many weeks mate.
New to me is the requirement for trucks to drive with headlights ON at ALL times in Italy.
If you have absolutely no bulges in your curtains or not carrying haz, go Mont Blanc, otherwise go via Frejus. Whichever, the route is to Lyon and turn left (ask any ex-Muppets about my prefered route 
).
Another new one is, no overtaking in trucks in the rain in Belgium.
Basically, use your loaf. Don’t park in places that would make you nervous if you were in the UK. Give us some more detail, if possible, then we can give you good parking places etc.
As soon as I get more concrete info Simon, I’ll post it, cheers!
Mal.
What does parking overnight in Italy mean…ive been err jus a few times …never actually got to park overnight tho…!!
look at my avatar…
joking about never stopping…but NEVER had an OVERNIGHT …lol
I used to park up in Milan at a place called Segrate, but that was 4years ago.
If you come off the Tangenziale Est (ringroad) onto another road Via Cassanese. I think it used to be a right turn several roundabouts up into a road called Via Europa. LEP/ Geologistics had their depot on the ind. est. The road will be in the “Milan Bible” (the blue atlas 
)
It was handy enough, other UK drivers parked here too - a small plaza next to estate with supermarket, places to eat & cash machines walking distance.
Like I said, that was 4years ago, might be different know. Anyone else ever parked there?
Just back from my latest trip to Italy.
Came back via Austria (in through the Frejus Tunnel). I was amazed that there is now no overtaking on the A22 for most of the run up to the Brenner Pass. Also a 60k limit for a long stretch of that. In itself nothing strange there. What was amazing is the fact that everyone complied 
.
If you don’t know, Eco-points are no longer used, instead you need too buy a Go-Box. Too get a box you need to take proof of ownership of the wagon into the offices of Schenker, on the border along with a method of payment. The box costs 5 Euros. You then need to either ‘preload’ the box with enough to cover the tolls for at least one trip (there is a minimum), or do it ‘post pay’, where it automatically bills your payment card eg DKV.