Being a Police officer in the UK
Question:
How do you tell the difference between a British Police Officer, an
Australian Police Officer and an American Police Officer?
Answer:
Pose the following question:
You’re walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small
children. When suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes
around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the
knife, and charges.
You are carrying a Glock 17, and you are an expert shot. You have mere
seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?
UK POLICE OFFICERS
Answer: Well, that’s not really enough information to answer the
question!
Does the man look poor or oppressed?
Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
Could we run away?
What does my wife think?
What about the kids?
Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his
hand?
What does the law say about this situation?
Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?
Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this
send to society and to my children?
Is it possible he’d be happy with just killing me?
Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound
me?
If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while
he was stabbing me?
Should I call 999?
Why is this street so deserted? Maybe we need to raise taxes, have a fun
day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such
behaviour?
If I raise my gun and he turns and runs away, do I get blamed when he
falls over running away, knocks his head and kills himself?
If I shoot him, and lose the court case, does he have the opportunity to
sue me, cost me my job, my credibility and I will lose my family home?
AUSTRALIAN OFFICERS
Answer: BANG!
AMERICAN OFFICERS
Answer: BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG. Click.
Daughter’s comment: “Nice grouping, Dad! Were those the Winchester Silver
Tips?”
