Turned out to be another change of plan. Some other geezer got the London run (Edmonton area) much to his disgust 
and I got Argos at Marsh Leys near Bedford 
. Expecting to be able to get my head down for 4hrs I was eager for it
Transport Manager (Phil), really nice bloke and within minutes we were laughing and joking and even their own drivers (well, the 3 I met) were brilliant too 
. He got talking about their storage depot in Batley on Grange Rd (next door up the hill from GS&D, Ken) and I mentioned that I lived round that way and knew where it was.
“Oh, well you could take x trailer up there then if you know where it is, then come back down here bob-tail and do the Argos”.
So that was the plan.
Got the keys for the motor and then got a shock. As I walked towards my 4-leg DAF85 380/430 it suddenly turned out to be a DAF75 250 
250hp for an artic . I thought Tesco’s were bad with their 310 Streamlines .
Did my checks and fired it up It was a 51-reg but it sounded ridiculous with it’s weedy engine It had a big lid on it as well which made it even more silly. Interior was clean and tidy but after driving an FH12 it seemed strange to be sat so near to the ground. Another weird thing with it which annoyed me was the acceleration went up in notches rather than smooth and progressive. Very annoying when you need to move about at slow speeds, like reversing 
Got my trailer (15ft tall with tiny double wheels) but had a hellish job trying to get the red and yellow lines on. Had to exert some serious oomph. Eventually got sorted out and on my way. It felt like it was my first time out in an artic again after having not driven for so long and also a different unit 
. Nice and easy out of the tight gate and off up the road. It was then that I realised how unsuited the engine was to the job. Fair enough, they might only be beds and mattresses but a big trailer like that equates to a fair bit of weight.
Anyway, not to worry, nice and steady as the money’s racking up nicely I soon realised that some more seat adjustment was required after I went over a dip in the road and the cushioning on the seat was far too high. If it hadn’t been for the wheel trapping my legs I would have been catapaulted off the seat to the roof . Soon adjusted that to minimum bounce setting but now the tilt was wrong 
. Throughout the whole night I couldn’t get comfy in the seat
Got up to Batley and the instructions were to “take a big swing to get in the gate as it’s a 180 turn”. No problem. Came down Grange Rd with some traffic behind me so indicated left in good time and took it completely on the other side and then checked no numpties were coming up the inside and began to bring it back in. Then shock, horror The gate was closed . So I had to think quick and continued on down the road and pulled up on the left side well past the gate. I jumped out and started walking back up only to find that the security bod had now opened to gate . Got back in the wagon and had to go all the way to end of the road to spin in round . Came back up and pulled up, dropped the trailer off and then returned to Wombwell to get my Argos run.
I must have been in a dream world as I was coming back down the M1 because I went straight past J37 and had to come off at 36 and along the A61. Got my second trailer which was a proper tri-axle full size wheeled jobbie and not knowing the best way from there to Marsh Leys I re-traced my steps and got on the M1 at J36 again. Although the vehicle was fitted with cruise it didn’t seem to maintain any speed, but you could limit the speed you wanted to do. Eg. I managed to limit it 50mph max so on pressing the gas it didn’t go any faster but you couldn’t actually set it to cruise at a speed without physically keeping the pedal pressed. I found this most annoying.
As the traffic had cleared by this time and the road was reasonably clear, the £££ signs got the better of me and I dawdled along at 50mph just to remind myself how boring it was. Yep, it was indeed boring but I needed a good 10hrs out of it to make it pay so it had to be done 
.
Came off at J13 and zipped along the 421 and straight into Argos. Security man ordered me to turn the engine off which got my back up straight away (zebidee). Finally got through the gate and pulled up opposite the goods-in office. Went in with my paperwork and told to drop the trailer on bay 21 . Then he gives me a mountain of paperwork to sign for my pick-up trailer . I must have been there a solid 5 minutes signing it all . Eventually I’m away and opened the doors to put the trailer on the bay but alas, no I opened one door and saw that the other door was holding in about 100 mattresses from falling out
Uh-oh. I went back to goods-in and told them and they said yeah no problem, just put it on the bay with one door open and we’ll take the surplus off then get the shunter to pull it out and open the other door. Don’t worry about it. Cool
Did that and then saw that my trailer was to the far left of where I was. Hmmm 
Did I risk a zebideeing from them about going against the one-way system or do I go all the way round Plenty of time so went all the way round. Got to the security gate on the exit and told the geezer there what I was doing and he said, “you don’t need to follow the one-way system if you’re picking up a trailer, just go the other way round” . Bloody typical isn’t it.
Got my trailer and off I goes. Needed to have a 45 off by this point so I nashed along the 421 to the big BP garage with the A6 junction and had it down there after picking up something to drink.
Pulled my map out to consult for the best way back and noticed that there isn’t much in it, going up the A1 or the M1 so decided to do the A1 for a change. Got to the end of the 421 with the A1 and waited for a TK-Max artic to come across. I pulled out behind him and followed him up the A1 but he was only doing 40mph. I was only going to 50mph so let him get his speed up first and waited behind. A mile down the road he’s still doing 40mph so I pulled out round him. 5 minutes down the road he’s sat 2mm off my trailer trying to push me along . Then he got bored of that and eased off into the distance again . Eventually he came tear-arsing past me and nearly took my cab off
Apart from that clown everyone else was being happy truckers . Came off on the 635 and went along Dearne Valley back to the yard. Got back to the yard and saw the shunter.
“No space for your trailer here”, he says, “you’ll have to drop it off at Brampton”.
Brampton That’s down the A1 somewhere . Luckily it turned out to be Brampton near Wombwell and my directions were to head back towards the by-pass but go straight over the 3rd roundabout, go past an offset cross-roads and it’s the next turning on the left. Off I went, following the instructions but that “next turning on the left” was into a housing estate . Spent some more time trying to find it but it was nowhere to be found and I was now miles out of my way so I found the number for security in the cab phone and belled him up and asked him. He put me onto the shunter and he said that I should’ve turned left at the 3rd roundabout. I eventually found the place and dropped the trailer off.
Got back to the yard for a 3rd time, completed my paperwork and went to get my timesheet signed. No-one in authority to sign so filled in my hours correctly and left it with security.
Walked up to my van and started her up and one of their own drivers pulled up at the side of me. We got talking and then he set off walking down to the yard. As I went past him he shouted at me to stop . Turned out I had a flat f/n/s tyre . Zebidee. That’s just what I don’t want at 4.45am without a pump or anything to change the tyre with.
Sincerely hoping it wasn’t a puncture and just a flat, I gingerly drove it the half mile up to the Tesco’s and slapped some air in it. Luckily, it didn’t go down again so job done. My prayers were answered . It then dawned on me that I was just about out of juice so spun it round on to the automated pumps and inserted my card. It churned it a few times and then returned with a full length crack across the magnetic strip and said it was unreadable . There was nothing wrong with it until I put it in. Fortunately I managed to find another garage which was open nearby.
So there endeth the shift. 8hrs driving completed and 10hrs 45 duty time. £115.19 racked up for my services will do me nicely
. I’ve got one myself as was about to set it going at the start of driving but then I noticed he had one himself sitting on the top of the dash so I used his instead. When I’d finished my shift I was putting all my stuff back in my bag and automatically thinking it was mine I put it in my bag. It was only when I got home later and heard the alarm go off that I realised it was a different tone to mine and then the penny dropped.
6 hours sleep just wasn’t enough but I’m up now