Maybe the facilities that are available should have a key to enter. You want a P or a crap or a shower, no problem, hand in ( you are going to think this as extreme ! ) your licence, keys or some sort of identity as a deposit and sign a register, go do your thing, then before getting your deposit back , the facilities are inspected. But seeing as there is such strictness there would probably be no need to actually inspect the facilities because having done all the previous, you probably would “leave it in the manner that you would like to find it”
Olog Hai:
pierrot 14:
Yep look at pub toilets !!! No locks on the doors, no toilet paper, Graffiti on the walls (wanna B-Job phone xxxxxxxxxx ) ( the boss of this place is a xxxxxxxx ), beggars belief !!!I don’t like the sound of some of the pubs that you drink in…
Admiral Portsmouth, waiting for the ferry, Ship and Anchor Portsmouth, same reason.
When I lived in England toilet cubicles in loads of pubs very often didn’t have a lock on the door.
It all started to go down the pan when one bloke started nicking all the sink plugs.
But over the years, I have had some nice showers; even one with a TV built into the mirror. Cut myself shaving while watching it.
Best ever was Pop’s at Concorezzo. The toilet was ‘a la Turque’ hole in the floor (am I alone in preferring not to have my bum in contact, albeit 2nd hand, with someone else’s?), then when you finished, you dropped the wooden slatted duckboard and turned the tap for your shower.
Not even any need for toilet paper. Perfect. And always clean. 
Very few toilets are of an acceptable standard so I always take a bottle of spray disinfectant with me and I have been known to spray every inch of a cubicle with it.
We have showers in our yard that are admittedly only for our drivers. The bit that annoys me though is that on a weekend I’ll normally pop into a local pound shop and buy shower screen spray, descaler and the lie for the princely sum of yep, £1 and still the animals pinch it! Ffs if they were that hard up I’d buy some for them out of my own pocket. 
[/quote]
Know what you’re saying mate, but how many proper normal bonafide truck drivers that you know, go into a bog and trash it.
You always get the d.head element small minority in everything, but it really ■■■■■■ me off when ‘‘they’’ just readily assume we are ALL like that.
The guy’s post about the XPO depot is a classic example, you should actually demand to use their bogs there after all else failed.
I would just pull out of there personally if refused, (toilet, not showers btw) and expect my boss to back me.
Problem is nobody has any fight left in them anymore and just put up with all that type of crap, which is why they do it.
[/quote]
But that’s trucking, and the transport industry, all over.
One animal (and I appreciate that that could be construed to be an insult to animals per se) trashes a tiolet and we all get blamed and punished. (As an aside, my answer to places like XPO is simple: “You want me to p#ss on your floor then. Ok, which corner do you use the least?” Never failed yet!"
One moron tries to (for eg.) drive off while the forkie has the pallet half out, and suddenly the Hopeless and Stupid weenies tar us all… "All trucks now have to hand in keys, get out the cab, disconnect this and block that – and you’re not wearing white socks and you’re fat, and yadda, yadda, yadda.
One transport firm pays peanuts but they still get the drivers because a) some people are desperate (any job is better than no job) or, b) they take newbies who know no better. A competitor gets undercut, tries the same and thus starts the race to the bottom. Etc, etc, etc.
the maoster:
We have showers in our yard that are admittedly only for our drivers. The bit that annoys me though is that on a weekend I’ll normally pop into a local pound shop and buy shower screen spray, descaler and the lie for the princely sum of yep, £1 and still the animals pinch it! Ffs if they were that hard up I’d buy some for them out of my own pocket.
Swap the contents for something less pleasant… 
^^^^^ oh I like the way you think! Deep heat or Veet spring to mind. 
the maoster:
^^^^^ oh I like the way you think! Deep heat or Veet spring to mind.
Brutal…
robroy:
That’s right, my own main depot’s ‘‘driver’s facilities’’ is a complete crap hole, they come back with ‘‘Well drivers won’t keep it tidy’’ which ok, is fair comment, but that is why every establishments from offices to pubs employ cleaners ffs.
, if everywhere took that attitude, there would not be a clean khazi in the whole [zb] country.
Ours vary in quality and they’re cleaned at least twice a day. I’ve even seen crap down the outside front of the toilet, I can’t even figure out how the hell you get it down the front of a toilet. You don’t want to go to the ones in the factories…jesus. I wonder if the people who treat them this badly do the same in their own homes.
Then at the last place I worked at they were immaculate, not so much as a skid mark. I’m rapidly coming to the conclusion it must be something to do with the level of intelligence of who is using them because at my last job it was a tech company where everyone had a decent level of intelligence. It would appear that amongst unskilled factory line workers and a number of knuckle dragging steering wheel attendants that the ability to use a toilet properly is beyond them.
Showering in this game can be a bit of a challenge, especially if it’s one of those pump action knob jobbies that last about 2.5seconds before needing to be pushed again.
So here’s my mini guide for new truckers who find themselves having to push a little knob repeatedly to get any sort of action:
- Travel lite: Washbag, towel, flipflops, shorts and T-shirt, regardless whether it’s summer or winter. No socks!!..
2.Cable Ties: Always have at least 3 in your Washbag, ideal for locking the knob in place and also detaining prey.
-
Prewash: Always push the knob first to get the water going also very useful to guage the temperature. Lukewarm to icecold is common
-
Strip down to your flipflops: Optional here but check out the cubicle floor, can be veruca city at times so best leave flippers on.
-
Secure knob: Unless another driver has done it for you use your cable ties to lock knob in position, no hard and fast rule here on method, anything that works is fine.
-
Prewet: Ideal if your faced with a dew drop shower that barely trickles out, wetten up everywhere first
-
Lather Up: Get your shower gel out and squirt away working from bottom to top (by bottom I mean feet, but don’t forget your bottom). Save hair (optional if your a slap head) till last, don’t use shampoo this is gay. Truckers shower gel has a multitude of uses, no other vanity products are needed, except lippy obviously.
-
Rinse off: Now best you can use the trickling water to rinse off the lather, take your time here nowt worse than getting out and still being sticky.
-
Cupping: As I’m often asked how to do ones genitalia in these situations it needs a paragraph of its own.
I find the ‘cupping’ method best, cup your nads and try and catch the water to rinse down below, depending on gut size one can also place an arm across belly, fill with water then douche any sensitive areas. -
Drying off: Grab towel dry off normally then stand on towel to do feet, or wait till back in cab to reduce veruca risk. Throw towel in side locker or nearest haz chem site.
That’s it really, try not to forget your shower gel, try and leave clean for next driver, be sure to remove any gel like deposits.
Oh and if you’ve ■■■■■■ in the shower be sure to do that first not last, never do it at Lincoln Farm as they are semi communual and other drivers will notice and take the ■■■■■ or give you a ■■■■ good thrashing.
Hope this helps…
Is the above a rejected script from the film ‘Papillon’?
By all accounts relying on available facilities really has become a desperate moth-eaten practice.
It just goes to show you that even with all this driver targeted surveillance you still can’t capture footage on company devices of toilets or showers to show anyone who’s interested how you’re treated. This option isn’t available because they don’t care anyway.
But there again as long as you put up with returning to these places then nothing will change. Even customers that still refuse toilets to drivers aren’t being fined yet.
Dipper_Dave:
Showering in this game can be a bit of a challenge, especially if it’s one of those pump action knob jobbies that last about 2.5seconds before needing to be pushed again.So here’s my mini guide for new truckers who find themselves having to push a little knob repeatedly to get any sort of action:
- Travel lite: Washbag, towel, flipflops, shorts and T-shirt, regardless whether it’s summer or winter. No socks!!..
2.Cable Ties: Always have at least 3 in your Washbag, ideal for locking the knob in place and also detaining prey.
Prewash: Always push the knob first to get the water going also very useful to guage the temperature. Lukewarm to icecold is common
Strip down to your flipflops: Optional here but check out the cubicle floor, can be veruca city at times so best leave flippers on.
Secure knob: Unless another driver has done it for you use your cable ties to lock knob in position, no hard and fast rule here on method, anything that works is fine.
Prewet: Ideal if your faced with a dew drop shower that barely trickles out, wetten up everywhere first
Lather Up: Get your shower gel out and squirt away working from bottom to top (by bottom I mean feet, but don’t forget your bottom). Save hair (optional if your a slap head) till last, don’t use shampoo this is gay. Truckers shower gel has a multitude of uses, no other vanity products are needed, except lippy obviously.
Rinse off: Now best you can use the trickling water to rinse off the lather, take your time here nowt worse than getting out and still being sticky.
Cupping: As I’m often asked how to do ones genitalia in these situations it needs a paragraph of its own.
I find the ‘cupping’ method best, cup your nads and try and catch the water to rinse down below, depending on gut size one can also place an arm across belly, fill with water then douche any sensitive areas.Drying off: Grab towel dry off normally then stand on towel to do feet, or wait till back in cab to reduce veruca risk. Throw towel in side locker or nearest haz chem site.
That’s it really, try not to forget your shower gel, try and leave clean for next driver, be sure to remove any gel like deposits.
Oh and if you’ve ■■■■■■ in the shower be sure to do that first not last, never do it at Lincoln Farm as they are semi communual and other drivers will notice and take the ■■■■, or give you a ■■■■ good thrashing.Hope this helps…
U missed double manning out
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mdourish:
Dipper_Dave:
Showering in this game can be a bit of a challenge, especially if it’s one of those pump action knob jobbies that last about 2.5seconds before needing to be pushed again.So here’s my mini guide for new truckers who find themselves having to push a little knob repeatedly to get any sort of action:
- Travel lite: Washbag, towel, flipflops, shorts and T-shirt, regardless whether it’s summer or winter. No socks!!..
2.Cable Ties: Always have at least 3 in your Washbag, ideal for locking the knob in place and also detaining prey.
Prewash: Always push the knob first to get the water going also very useful to guage the temperature. Lukewarm to icecold is common
Strip down to your flipflops: Optional here but check out the cubicle floor, can be veruca city at times so best leave flippers on.
Secure knob: Unless another driver has done it for you use your cable ties to lock knob in position, no hard and fast rule here on method, anything that works is fine.
Prewet: Ideal if your faced with a dew drop shower that barely trickles out, wetten up everywhere first
Lather Up: Get your shower gel out and squirt away working from bottom to top (by bottom I mean feet, but don’t forget your bottom). Save hair (optional if your a slap head) till last, don’t use shampoo this is gay. Truckers shower gel has a multitude of uses, no other vanity products are needed, except lippy obviously.
Rinse off: Now best you can use the trickling water to rinse off the lather, take your time here nowt worse than getting out and still being sticky.
Cupping: As I’m often asked how to do ones genitalia in these situations it needs a paragraph of its own.
I find the ‘cupping’ method best, cup your nads and try and catch the water to rinse down below, depending on gut size one can also place an arm across belly, fill with water then douche any sensitive areas.Drying off: Grab towel dry off normally then stand on towel to do feet, or wait till back in cab to reduce veruca risk. Throw towel in side locker or nearest haz chem site.
That’s it really, try not to forget your shower gel, try and leave clean for next driver, be sure to remove any gel like deposits.
Oh and if you’ve ■■■■■■ in the shower be sure to do that first not last, never do it at Lincoln Farm as they are semi communual and other drivers will notice and take the ■■■■, or give you a ■■■■ good thrashing.Hope this helps…
U missed double manning out
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Obviously double manning you can cup each other’s nads,
That description of showering is the naval traditional shower to save water, the showers that need tokens, you will be left with a sticky nad and an arm. However you can finish yourself off in the sink
Dipper_Dave:
Showering in this game can be a bit of a challenge, especially if it’s one of those pump action knob jobbies that last about 2.5seconds before needing to be pushed again.So here’s my mini guide for new truckers who find themselves having to push a little knob repeatedly to get any sort of action:
- Travel lite: Washbag, towel, flipflops, shorts and T-shirt, regardless whether it’s summer or winter. No socks!!..
2.Cable Ties: Always have at least 3 in your Washbag, ideal for locking the knob in place and also detaining prey.
Prewash: Always push the knob first to get the water going also very useful to guage the temperature. Lukewarm to icecold is common
Strip down to your flipflops: Optional here but check out the cubicle floor, can be veruca city at times so best leave flippers on.
Secure knob: Unless another driver has done it for you use your cable ties to lock knob in position, no hard and fast rule here on method, anything that works is fine.
Prewet: Ideal if your faced with a dew drop shower that barely trickles out, wetten up everywhere first
Lather Up: Get your shower gel out and squirt away working from bottom to top (by bottom I mean feet, but don’t forget your bottom). Save hair (optional if your a slap head) till last, don’t use shampoo this is gay. Truckers shower gel has a multitude of uses, no other vanity products are needed, except lippy obviously.
Rinse off: Now best you can use the trickling water to rinse off the lather, take your time here nowt worse than getting out and still being sticky.
Cupping: As I’m often asked how to do ones genitalia in these situations it needs a paragraph of its own.
I find the ‘cupping’ method best, cup your nads and try and catch the water to rinse down below, depending on gut size one can also place an arm across belly, fill with water then douche any sensitive areas.Drying off: Grab towel dry off normally then stand on towel to do feet, or wait till back in cab to reduce veruca risk. Throw towel in side locker or nearest haz chem site.
That’s it really, try not to forget your shower gel, try and leave clean for next driver, be sure to remove any gel like deposits.
Oh and if you’ve ■■■■■■ in the shower be sure to do that first not last, never do it at Lincoln Farm as they are semi communual and other drivers will notice and take the ■■■■, or give you a ■■■■ good thrashing.Hope this helps…
When are you going to write a book of advice for up and coming young truck drivers, I certainly would be interested in pre-ordering one, book that is not up and coming young truck driver.
I always wee in the shower gel bottle and leave for the next driver.
It’s certainly a British thing but not just in the transport sector . I had a spell at a famous film industry processing place and it was very regular that the toilet facilities would get trashed and flooded . Because if the number of toilets dropped below a certain level the staff went home .
Even at a couple of smaller places some people ■■■■■ all over the floor and leave toilet paper all over the place , and how tight must people be to steal bog rolls and even the fittings .
The guy caught at the garage I worked at who constantly peed on the floor stopped doing it when a couple of us rubbed his face in it .
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I’m quite fortunate at our place because all our mills have showers for the production and warehouse staff, and they’re kept in good nick so I can grab a shower when re-loading; regrettably they’re not available to visiting drivers from outside our company though that’s down to the fact that they’re inside the production area rather than any attempt to be mean. All our mills do have decent toilets for visiting drivers to use and I have to say that I’ve yet to see them left in ■■■■ order.
As anyone who nights out knows, the biggest bind is when you’re doing an area away from the main motorway network. I’d like local authorities to follow the excellent example set by Builth Wells Town council, who have installed a pay-to-use shower (think it costs a quid) in the facilities block of the lorry/car park. Bit different to the mean-spirited example of Carmarthenshire County Council, who have not only banned lorries from the car park in Llandovery (after one driver parked on a disabled spot, though there were others available) but also closed the 24 hour toilets in the layby just above Pont Abraham roundabout, they’re only open “office hours” now. I did approach our local MP, Simon Hart, about this, and to his credit he did take it up with the council, but the head honcho is a narrow-minded prat who thinks all lorry drivers are like his council employees and go home at five every night.
a certain naïve young driver had his clothes hidden when using the showers at “spence Bryson”? carpets in Bangor ulster,■■■■ women came and took them away 
gave them a laugh I suppose .