“Where are you” boils my urine:twisted:
Singing from the same hymn sheet is the one that gets on my wick.
I remember selling my flat and the estate agent would often call wanting to ‘touch base’ a phrase I hated then and even more now.
Mission statement.
Nuf said…
Malky80:
“Just see what you can do”The usual response I used to get to letting them know about the following…
The freezer has packed in.
There is no way I can do all these drops within my time.
There are no pallet trucks left.
I’ve cracked my head open and I feel a bit dizzy (This only happened once)
You get a different response with…
I’ve cracked my freezer open
There’s no way I can find a pallet truck in time
My head has packed it in
There are no drops left.
If it’s the worst kind of manager - the answers will be identical! 
‘I’II do my best’
viking7000:
Thanks for getting the ball rolling. Going forward we must touch base and brainstorm together in an effort to consolidate this thread.
We really are a Tiger team.
I missed kicking the ball, and moving backwards, I’m touching cloth, having a brainstorm, and in an effort to consolidate my debts, I’ve hired some WWII Tiger tanks to get the job done.
Now… What code do I need to use the derv island?..
I’ve got a cunning plan -always used too spell disaster for me
One of my old managers loved to say:
“To assume makes an ■■■ of u and me”.
He loved to use it and thought he was so clever. It really got on me ■■■■.
I let him off though coz I snogged and fingered his wife at a works do.
If by chance he is on this forum and recognises this phrase please say hello to Linda for me… 
Scaniason said he worked for BT
I was saw on BT paperwork whilst at a “PRISM”
we (bt) have enough acronyms don’t invent anymore
amamdada:
we need to go for the ‘quick wins’ by targeting the ‘low hanging fruit’ as opposed to looking for the ‘holistic view’ and trying to ‘eat the elephant all in bite’ . We need to ‘brainstorm’ the problem then once we have conducted a ‘concencus reaching exercise’ determine our ‘global strategy’ therefore ‘engaging all our stakeholders’ and striving to deliver ‘excellent service’ all in the ‘vein of continuous improvement’
I need to stop now as I have confused myself.
Stop the ride - I want to get off. 
"Reports are coming in of William Inseer being admitted to hospital as an emergency, apparently having received a lethal dose of streptlbolox managerious bacteria."
re thinking outside the box.
usually is followed by a blocking for not
having permission to do so
Hi
You sometimes wonder if SOME management staff are on the same planet as their drivers.
How many times have you been told to ,just pop round to, or, they are waiting for you,
I was once sent on a delivery that should have been there hours before and in the first half hour of travel was phoned 3 times for a ETA. On the third call I told them it is the same ETA as the last call and if you ring again it will still be the same. No more phone calls!
Bassman
How about the opposite:
“Yes Santa - that’s a good idea”.
“OK Santa - they’ve had enough time - pull out and carry on.”
“I know you want to finish early, so I’ve just given you a couple of locals - Give the truck a wash when you’re done and call it a day.”
“Thanks to all your efforts, we made a good profit this year, and the Christmas bonus will reflect that.”
“Your new truck arrived and they made a mistake - they put the highline cab on it.”
All of the above, except the last, are real. I bet you guys have more.
Dipper_Dave:
One of my old managers loved to say:
“To assume makes an ■■■ of u and me”.
He loved to use it and thought he was so clever. It really got on me ■■■■.
I let him off though coz I snogged and fingered his wife at a works do.If by chance he is on this forum and recognises this phrase please say hello to Linda for me…
Pure genius. 
. You’re rapidly moving up my “would go for a drink with” list Dave.
I’ve got one more for you, but it’s just around the corner. 
‘Can you just….’ just after those three words, you may as well turn around and bend over, because you know you’re about to be shafted
I’ll call you back in 5 minutes.
I got this a few times at the co op in newhouse, that was months ago and im still waiting !
Dipper_Dave:
One of my old managers loved to say:
“To assume makes an ■■■ of u and me”.
He loved to use it and thought he was so clever. It really got on me ■■■■.
I let him off though coz I snogged and fingered his wife at a works do.If by chance he is on this forum and recognises this phrase please say hello to Linda for me…
That is class !!
Dipper_Dave:
One of my old managers loved to say:
“To assume makes an ■■■ of u and me”.
He loved to use it and thought he was so clever. It really got on me ■■■■.
I let him off though coz I snogged and fingered his wife at a works do.If by chance he is on this forum and recognises this phrase please say hello to Linda for me…
How many fingers ?
And how easy did they slide in 