Report a problem with the truck “Let it develop” 
is a favourite at my place.
Brain Storm is an outdated phrase,
We now get in the thought shower
Anything that includes the word “compliance”.
‘Run it up the flagpole and see who salutes’
I used to work for BT, and the managers there used to try go outdo each other in the newspeak stakes. We used to play bull shot bingo at team meetings, see who could cross out their randomly generated card with all the ■■■■■■■■ spouted.
Like: let’s put that in the thought fridge & snack on it later
“Mind set” “heads up” “moving forward” “help us to help you” “turn & burn”
Sidevalve:
Anything that includes the word “compliance”.
Yea ive heard that awell,what does it mean 
i wont ask at work they will take the ■■■■ 
My gaffer usually says TEAM
T together
E everyone
A achieves
M more
The Twa!!!
Going to one of their management meetings would be hell. Just think of having to listen to all that drivel that comes out of their mouths. Suit-speak makes me throw up.
The thought of what they might be discussing fills me with horror too. The latest livery proposals, the results of the marketing initiative consultation, which of the candidates for diversity consultant should be progressed forward to the next stage of the vetting and selection procedure, and the amazing rollercoaster journey that has devastated the bottom line of the global economy.
Beam me up Scotty!
seth 70:
Sidevalve:
Anything that includes the word “compliance”.Yea ive heard that awell,what does it mean
It means that the firm employs at least 25 per cent of its office workforce in the highly productive and cost-efficient job of ticking boxes, preparing for the next audit and trying to sort out the consequences of the last one without spending any more money.
It’s also management speak for “slavish conformity to pointless bollox”.
You might aswell come in and go with it tomorrow, you’ll have plenty of time to do what you’re doing lol
Home tonight
There is no ‘I’ in team, my old boss used to say. You will find him in Scunthorpe.
can I see you in my office,thats what gets me
“we’ve got another load for you”
By text, whats your eta bla bla with what driving time left is a good one lol 
“Just see what you can do”
The usual response I used to get to letting them know about the following…
The freezer has packed in.
There is no way I can do all these drops within my time.
There are no pallet trucks left.
I’ve cracked my head open and I feel a bit dizzy (This only happened once)
When I’m loaded for somewhere I’ve not a hope of reaching before the deadline our TM says… just go round and try…
The one I use the most is (not necessarily aimed at our lot)…They couldn’t run a bath, let alone a business…
we need to go for the ‘quick wins’ by targeting the ‘low hanging fruit’ as opposed to looking for the ‘holistic view’ and trying to ‘eat the elephant all in bite’ . We need to ‘brainstorm’ the problem then once we have conducted a ‘concencus reaching exercise’ determine our ‘global strategy’ therefore ‘engaging all our stakeholders’ and striving to deliver ‘excellent service’ all in the ‘vein of continuous improvement’
I need to stop now as I have confused myself.
Malky80:
I’ve cracked my head open and I feel a bit dizzy (This only happened once)
sorry, but that’s funny!
My boss’s favourite is,see how you go!!