the police dont use chalk anymore heard in an rdc they use spray paint flourescent colours as too keep up with the times
also if you throw your full bottle of urine in a laybye the police can extract dna and prosecute you i said thats taking the ■■■■ 
If you run out of time crossing the runway at Raf Brize you can stop on it provided the rear tyres are chalked. They must redirect all flights to Fairford until you’re ready to go.
m4rky:
NathanB:
I wont see coloured faces tomorrow as I deliver in High Wycombe.Surely that’s a racist comment rather than MMTM■■? Maybe I missed the point?
Our lass says that, ‘coloured people’.
I always ask ‘what colour, do you mean black’?
Like it’s a swear word.
Cue outpouring of synthetic rage…
schrodingers cat:
Police carry chalk.
I was told by another drive (maybe I’ll be sacked from this thread cos I really can’t call him a mate), that he was put on a bay for the night and the police chalked his wheels to prove he hadn’t been forced to move.
I asked him why the hell would a copper carry chalk? and honest to God he told me it was to draw round dead bodies.
The story is true but I still would strongly deny he was a mate.
Maybe the copper did weight lifting or gymnastics in his spare time?? I’ve seen them use it on the telly so it must be true 
chris:
The reason stobart drivers have stopped wearing ties is, a driver got his tie wrapped around the propshaft
Now that’s a good MMTM
OK a couple more
MMTM the French Police listen to British CB’s so glean information to nick them
MMTM VOSA fine you £30 for every curtain buckle that is not secured correctly
I was coming down the telegraph hill and the brakes started to fade. I put my 5 year old daughter in the drivers seat so that I could step out onto the steps and slow the beast down with my free boot (A la Flintstones).
Wiretwister:
I was coming down the telegraph hill and the brakes started to fade. I put my 5 year old daughter in the drivers seat so that I could step out onto the steps and slow the beast down with my free boot (A la Flintstones).
Spot on
" ferry mode "
I am saying no more …
My boss really cares about his staff. Actually this might not qualify as it was my boss that said this and he isn’t a mate. Sorry for wasting your time please on to the next post.
m4rky:
Here’s anotherVOSA will fine you £30 for every time they can wind the handle on your landing gear to get the legs up fully - cracks me up that one
billybigrig:
m4rky:
Here’s anotherVOSA will fine you £30 for every time they can wind the handle on your landing gear to get the legs up fully - cracks me up that one
Sir, I doff my cap to you!
Happydaze:
Clearly MMTM also means Muppet Manager Told Me
chris:
The reason stobart drivers have stopped wearing ties is, a driver got his tie wrapped around the propshaft
While fitting a magnet that tinkler had said is legal cos he drinks te with bev bell on Tuesday’s
billybigrig:
m4rky:
Here’s anotherVOSA will fine you £30 for every time they can wind the handle on your landing gear to get the legs up fully - cracks me up that one
That’s brilliant Mr Bigrig, as they say yer couldn’t make it up, oh ■■■■ someone has and put it in a memo 
priceless 
Regards
Dave Penn;
MMTM Road haulage is a good career move.
MMTM only last week that continuous driving will be reduced from 4.5hrs to 3.5hrs in September this year MCPCTTM
I once swam up Niagara Falls! Does that count? 
