MMTM Leatherhead is open. Heard it on the 1-9 so it must be true! 
I used to work for MI6/SIS/SAS 
Oh sheet I’ve told you all now so I’m going to have to seek you all out individually, lock you in a big red bag/holdall and leave you in the bath 
Sorry guys it’s probably time to get your affairs in order and get that will written coz the Manchurian destruct programme in my head has now been activated 
Regards
Dave Penn;
The London LEZ was / is a well thought out “tax” which benefits not only haulage companies but the good people who live in Edmonton, Mayfair, Middlesborough and Crewe…
robroy:
The driver CPC was devised entirely to improve the knowledge and skills of a truck driver, and enhance the professionalism of the haulage industry, now that IS ■■■■■■■■!!
I’m sorry but that is true so therefore banned
Bacon Sandwich:
You’re not allowed to take your 45 minute break while you’re sat in the drivers seat.Not told to be by a mate, but a total loon from Fagan and Whalley!
Don’t deny it you believed it Good one
davepenn54:
I used to work for MI6/SIS/SASRegards
Dave Penn;
Impressive - Dave how did you make it look like the bag was locked form the inside??
Good job fella 
Here’s another MMTM
You do not need an ADR licence if you passed “O Level chemistry” because obviously you know the risks
Disclaimer: DD my licence will be due for renewal soon so please don’t hold this against me or put me on pre-mod - thanks
Newbies - This is total ■■■■■■■■
m4rky:
Bacon Sandwich:
You’re not allowed to take your 45 minute break while you’re sat in the drivers seat.Not told to be by a mate, but a total loon from Fagan and Whalley!
Don’t deny it you believed it
Hey look. I was young and I needed the money, ok■■?
I was once on a ferry and got talking to an Irish bloke with his 14yo son. When we went back to the truxks he showed me his trailer. He had 20t hanging meat and 20t of sheet metal on the floor!! Then the 14yo lad jumped into another truck parked behind it and they left!!
If you put your digi card between two mobile phones and call them both at the same time it wipes the data.
Someone told me this last week.
Bacon Sandwich:
m4rky:
Bacon Sandwich:
You’re not allowed to take your 45 minute break while you’re sat in the drivers seat.Not told to be by a mate, but a total loon from Fagan and Whalley!
Don’t deny it you believed it
Hey look. I was young and I needed the money, ok■■?
Ok forgiven - That’s a MMTM
Hang up some CDs in your windscreen,it’s the random reflections,you see.Renders police radar guns useless.
@l()w:
I was once on a ferry and got talking to an Irish bloke with his 14yo son. When we went back to the truxks he showed me his trailer. He had 20t hanging meat and 20t of sheet metal on the floor!! Then the 14yo lad jumped into another truck parked behind it and they left!!
I’ve met them too last week on the Birkenhead ferry so again its obviously a true story - Banned
kr79:
If you put your digi card between two mobile phones and call them both at the same time it wipes the data.
Someone told me this last week.
Is that not true then - Dammit I’m gonna have some explaining next time I get stopped
kr79:
If you put your digi card between two mobile phones and call them both at the same time it wipes the data.
Someone told me this last week.
Apparently it only works if they are both Blackberries
Sir +:
Hang up some CDs in your windscreen,it’s the random reflections,you see.Renders police radar guns useless.
This has worked for me for many years so again the truth must be banned 
dar1976:
kr79:
If you put your digi card between two mobile phones and call them both at the same time it wipes the data.
Someone told me this last week.Apparently it only works if they are both Blackberries
This could be true - So therefore banned too
Only genuine stories are allowed on this thread
The jobs not what it was
yeh it is Its still zb’d by tossers
I think we should close this thread now.Nobody can compete with Bigvern,as his sig.proves
'Spouting ■■■■■■■■ since 1967 ’
I wont see coloured faces tomorrow as I deliver in High Wycombe.