I was coming down the Blanc in an F12 in the snow and had my 10 year old son with me. The truck started sliding, so I put him in my lap so I could throw him out the window if I thought I was going down the quick way…
I kid you not, I heard that about sixteen years ago and it still makes me laugh!
kemaro:
There is a driver shortage & you can earn £650 + every week
■■■■■■■■ to that, I earn that in a day.
Happydaze:
Nokia 3300’s would tell you when speed cameras were in operation if you got a certain symbol to come up on the display.
Why start a new thread? The bollox and vebal ■■■■ (I can’t spell the accepted word) spouted on these pages really cracks me up. 
regards Kevmac47.
Harry Monk:
I missed the Herald of Free Enterprise by half a minute.
I thought you’d made the sailing but your SAS training got you to safety
Paccar are going to reopen the Foden works at Sandbach and start building the Mickey Mouse cab again. A choice of Gardner, ■■■■■■■ or Rolls Royce engines will be offered. Options include flashing indicators, starting handle as a backup, non powered steering for ■■■■■■■■ drivers and the popular seat trim used in early model Merc Actros’…
Sorry, the bit about popular really is ■■■■■■■■.
m4rky:
bigvern1:
I can only drive little vans.Sorry Bigvern that is also banned as that is true
Happydaze:
I was coming down the Blanc in an F12 in the snow and had my 10 year old son with me. The truck started sliding, so I put him in my lap so I could throw him out the window if I thought I was going down the quick way…I kid you not, I heard that about sixteen years ago and it still makes me laugh!
This cracked me up Imagine throwing your kid out of the window
Wayne:
kemaro:
There is a driver shortage & you can earn £650 + every week■■■■■■■■ to that, I earn that in a day.
Total ■■■■■■■■ and not allowed
You have been told 
Oh unless you actually do
m4rky:
Happydaze:
I was coming down the Blanc in an F12 in the snow and had my 10 year old son with me. The truck started sliding, so I put him in my lap so I could throw him out the window if I thought I was going down the quick way…I kid you not, I heard that about sixteen years ago and it still makes me laugh!
This cracked me up
Worse, imagine trying to steer your wildly sliding and bucking (LHD forgot that bit) F12 with a 10 year old child on your lap?! 
kevmac47:
Happydaze:
Nokia 3300’s would tell you when speed cameras were in operation if you got a certain symbol to come up on the display.Why start a new thread? The bollox and vebal [zb] (I can’t spell the accepted word) spouted on these pages really cracks me up.
Agreed but for some reason I felt it necessary - sorry 
NathanB:
Paccar are going to reopen the Foden works at Sandbach and start building the Mickey Mouse cab again. A choice of Gardner, ■■■■■■■ or Rolls Royce engines will be offered. Options include flashing indicators, starting handle as a backup, non powered steering for ■■■■■■■■ drivers and the popular seat trim used in early model Merc Actros’…
Sorry, the bit about popular really is ■■■■■■■■.
Mmm I’m not sure about this one as according the older hands you must be able to drive one of these to be a propa driver - I’ll leave that one to the majority
kevmac47:
Happydaze:
Nokia 3300’s would tell you when speed cameras were in operation if you got a certain symbol to come up on the display.Why start a new thread? The bollox and vebal [zb] (I can’t spell the accepted word) spouted on these pages really cracks me up.
Nice one.
hgvhgv:
Using a broker for your training is the best option, espicialy advatage!
Yep now we’re talking - Total crap
MMTM a bloke he knows got pulled on the Paris peripherique and was up for a huge fine etc etc. Matey is getting his money out of the secret stash in the truck, when m’sieur gendarme notices a medal on the dash. Turns out our chauffeur used to be in the Foreign Legion and was decorated in some far off land in the service of old Marianne.
Next thing he’s escorted into Rungis/Champs elysees/L’arch de Triomphe (take your pick depending on the liar telling the story) the truck is coned off, and our hero is taken to a bar and the owner instructed to feed and water him for as long as he wants, gratis…
Happydaze:
MMTM a bloke he knows got pulled on the Paris peripherique and was up for a huge fine etc etc. Matey is getting his money out of the secret stash in the truck, when m’sieur gendarme notices a medal on the dash. Turns out our chauffeur used to be in the Foreign Legion and was decorated in some far off land in the service of old Marianne.Next thing he’s escorted into Rungis/Champs elysees/L’arch de Triomphe (take your pick depending on the liar telling the story) the truck is coned off, and our hero is taken to a bar and the owner instructed to feed and water him for as long as he wants, gratis…
That is ■■■■■■■ brilliant - Did they put chalk lines around his truck to ensure compliance
m4rky:
Happydaze:
MMTM a bloke he knows got pulled on the Paris peripherique and was up for a huge fine etc etc. Matey is getting his money out of the secret stash in the truck, when m’sieur gendarme notices a medal on the dash. Turns out our chauffeur used to be in the Foreign Legion and was decorated in some far off land in the service of old Marianne.Next thing he’s escorted into Rungis/Champs elysees/L’arch de Triomphe (take your pick depending on the liar telling the story) the truck is coned off, and our hero is taken to a bar and the owner instructed to feed and water him for as long as he wants, gratis…
That is [zb] brilliant - Did they put chalk lines around his truck to ensure compliance
Drat, forgot to ask!
The driver CPC was devised entirely to improve the knowledge and skills of a truck driver, and enhance the professionalism of the haulage industry, now that IS ■■■■■■■■!! 
You’re not allowed to take your 45 minute break while you’re sat in the drivers seat.
Not told to be by a mate, but a total loon from Fagan and Whalley!
MMTM that he got pulled in La Jonquera. They pulled the dash apart, found a pinhole in a wire and fined him £3000 (I don’t have a Euro sign on my 'puter ) then told him he could put it back together himself!
AH! Remember this one? Paddy and his mate are steaming along the Oresund bridge and a Polis VW LT comes after them for speeding. Both of them being in 143’s they soon leave the poor old vee-dub way behind… So the old bill scramble a helicopter and chase them, but he has to turn around when he gets to Swedish airspace so the two boys get clean away!