Heared someone on the CB today doing a right good ■■■■ 
It was name that tune 
Legend_Scania:
Heared someone on the CB today doing a right good ■■■■It was name that tune
Strikes me it is strange that" Dafdave " as not been on with a comment, as, I am led to believe, he is Southports loudest and most proficient farter, let alone the the most Pungent.
Could just be he does not wish to cause a stink.
Funniest thing ive read in ages sat on a bay in normanton reading it earlier think the security guy thought I had lost the plot lol.
I like to ■■■■ in a cup and throw it right into my mrs’ nose hahaha gip! Cup’a’poop. On the other hand my Mrs is a school teacher and says she ■■■■■ next to the naughtiest child and walks away and sniggers to herself when everyone blames the naughty one.
Hehe FAF cheered an otherwise sh*te day think this should be a sticky post can’t be Allowed to just wander off into the night 
Jeff.
I am partial to putting my hand down my pants and ■■■■■■■ on my hand and then i sniff my hand.I only do this when im driving the lorry.Weird eh?
LeedsChris:
I am partial to putting my hand down my pants and ■■■■■■■ on my hand and then i sniff my hand.I only do this when im driving the lorry.Weird eh?
Not weird at all. It’s just a Leeds thing
I find greasy KFC has the best results for me.
What’s even worse is sulphuric burps - only those that have smelt or had will know how truly awful these are.
I’ve not looked at all the links in this thread but if you want a laugh, google a video called ‘never trust a ■■■■’
Mushy Peas and Saveloys are the things that turn my starfish sound effects into evil smelling things, for maximum effect I release them slowly so it dulls the sound, one of my favourite places is in the boozer, let it out next to a group of birds and walk away, it takes 20secs or so before they all start looking at each other wondering which one let it out 
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I enjoy pulling that one in the supermarket, there’s not much funny about shopping these days, so it’s good to gain whatever bit of entertainment you can while getting ripped off.
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If you want a laugh when shopping try this one
Shop out of other peoples trolleys. sod all they can do about it as they have not paid for the stuff yet
brilliant when someone has got the last one of something you want until the shelve is restocked.
i have had a right run in with a wide boy once who got the last case of carlsberg when it was on a stupid offer. when his back was turned into my trolley it went 
needless to say it stayed in my trolley
When I was on a trip down the east coast of Australia, we stopped at a camp site. Next morning, me & my mate got up & went for a shower. The place seemed empty. The showers were in separate cubicles & the bogs were opposite. Midway through the I heard a right rasper, so I shouted to my mate “let her rip big man!” I heard him giggle & say “that wasn’t me!”. Then I heard another giggle behind one of the toilet cubicles. My mate burst out laughing which caused all 3 of us to ■■■■ ourselves laughing, to the point I could hardly stand up! We never found out who was in the bogs, but I still laugh about it now!
LeedsChris:
I am partial to putting my hand down my pants and ■■■■■■■ on my hand and then i sniff my hand.I only do this when im driving the lorry.Weird eh?
Try cupping your hand and rocking it from side to side over your starfish to get that wah wah pedal effect
philberg182:
LeedsChris:
I am partial to putting my hand down my pants and ■■■■■■■ on my hand and then i sniff my hand.I only do this when im driving the lorry.Weird eh?Try cupping your hand and rocking it from side to side over your starfish to get that wah wah pedal effect
hiya,
That’s one for Leeds Chris to try.
thanks harry, long retired.
Be really evil and ■■■■ next to a Sunshine Coach; The carers will be doing overtime trying to discover who did it.
Some of you are SO gross, yuk. But many have made me laugh out very loud.
So, I know someone who’s gas fire got condemned by British Gas so they had to use fan heaters around the house for a while until they got sorted with a new gas fire. Person was sat on a big bean bag right in front of the fan heater cos it was winter. Person let one rip, but unfortunatley was gassed by his own ■■■■ as the warm air from the fan heater blasted it back into his own face.
Other week coming over the A66 from tipping at Argos Euro Central I stopes at Penrith truckstop for a Spanish omelette beans and chips. Got to the 66 motel and my guts were spinning and I was I agony. I had to lift my arse of the chair go relive some pressure but it didn’t help and I followed through twice.
My keks were still in working order though as I hadn’t fully ■■■■ mi sen. I did a slight detour at the end of the 66 and went to Barton Park truck stop to “tip my load” I was walking like John Wayne up the steps while my arse kept coughing, thinking I wouldn’t make it in time.
I got to the bog sat straight down and filled the pan, sweat dripping off me. I let out a very long “Ahhhhhhhhh” through both relief and pleasure as you can’t beat a good ■■■■■ When I got home I gave our lass mi keks and said to her, " these need a good wash love, they look like the M25 on the inside" she says," you what?" And I replied full of skid marks and ■■■■"
loud n proud
Put your tacho on other work
When my drivers’ mate is sleeping, I’ll wind up the windows, shut the sunroof, turn off the aircon etc…and let rip…maybe even turn the heating on with the recirculate button on.
Mate of mine up in Doncaster used to favour what he called “the shower ■■■■”. Step out of the shower dripping wet, squat, peel your arse cheeks wide apart and go for it. Reckoned it always sounded like someone ripping a silk shirt!
