Cotswoldcrunch:
When my boyfriend is sleeping, I’ll wind up the windows, shut the sunroof, turn off the aircon etc…and let rip…maybe even turn the heating on with the recirculate button on.
You sir , are a mean fekker,
Its not big - its not clever … and it stinks 
The worst you could do is exit the vehicle on lock with the doors shut fast 
reagle ill do it:
Many moons ago when I first started sleeping with my now mrs I had been down the local had afewpints then home to her house for a chilli this potent brew was bubbling away nicely but I was in the -not ■■■■■■■ in front of the lady- stage of the relationship we ended up in bed doing couples normaly do whist this was going on I was aware of a pressing need to expell some gas but darent we were laying cuddling In the spoons position with her behind me and me clenching my arse as hard as I could when she reached round and playfully squeezed my ■■■■■■■■ it was to much for me my arse let go with an almighty explosion . She could not get out of bed quick enough got tangled in the sheets and head butted the wardrobeMemory’s a
Girlfriend asked wot I was laughing at she read it and said “thats something you would do” lol think she might be right
Contraflow:
Cotswoldcrunch:
When my boyfriend is sleeping, I’ll wind up the windows, shut the sunroof, turn off the aircon etc…and let rip…maybe even turn the heating on with the recirculate button on.
And with his moaning it’s a winning combination
Poor Poor drivers mate 
Daytrunker:
reagle ill do it:
Many moons ago when I first started sleeping with my now mrs I had been down the local had afewpints then home to her house for a chilli this potent brew was bubbling away nicely but I was in the -not ■■■■■■■ in front of the lady- stage of the relationship we ended up in bed doing couples normaly do whist this was going on I was aware of a pressing need to expell some gas but darent we were laying cuddling In the spoons position with her behind me and me clenching my arse as hard as I could when she reached round and playfully squeezed my ■■■■■■■■ it was to much for me my arse let go with an almighty explosion . She could not get out of bed quick enough got tangled in the sheets and head butted the wardrobeMemory’s a
Girlfriend asked wot I was laughing at she read it and said “thats something you would do” lol think she might be right
■■■■■■■ myself seeing that in the old minds eye. 
nothing like christening a different vehicle everytime you get in it
Daytrunker:
reagle ill do it:
Many moons ago when I first started sleeping with my now mrs I had been down the local had afewpints then home to her house for a chilli this potent brew was bubbling away nicely but I was in the -not ■■■■■■■ in front of the lady- stage of the relationship we ended up in bed doing couples normaly do whist this was going on I was aware of a pressing need to expell some gas but darent we were laying cuddling In the spoons position with her behind me and me clenching my arse as hard as I could when she reached round and playfully squeezed my ■■■■■■■■ it was to much for me my arse let go with an almighty explosion . She could not get out of bed quick enough got tangled in the sheets and head butted the wardrobeMemory’s a
Girlfriend asked wot I was laughing at she read it and said “thats something you would do” lol think she might be right
just read this post this morning 6 9 14 after getting up still feeling tired,but I have to say this woke me up,had a really good laugh
Hiya,
I don’t have any sense of smell, members of my family tell me they don’t make
a smell when ■■■■■■■ so it’s me who always gets the blame who am I to deny it.
thanks harry, long retired.
This is the funniest thread in a long time
Muckaway:
Mrs asked me was I done in the bog earlier, to which I replied “Just tipped and I’m sorting the paperwork…”
Came out to find her trying not to giggle
I said something of a similar nature to my niece years ago ,I said just got to go to goods inwards and drop my load,when I came out the penny dropped and she said as a laugh I was disgusting
I ■■■■■■ so hard the other week I blew the crack out my arse.
Was outside Asda yesterday waiting on herself had the four kids in the car .
I had egg and onion sandwiches at a wedding reception Friday night.
I knew all morning it was gonna be deadly .I Slowly released told them to wait there a minute and left,went to Asda window and watched.
My god they were nearly crying.
Deeireland:
Was outside Asda yesterday waiting on herself had the four kids in the car .
I had egg and onion sandwiches at a wedding reception Friday night.
I knew all morning it was gonna be deadly .I Slowly released told them to wait there a minute and left,went to Asda window and watched.
My god they were nearly crying.
I hope they phone childline and report your act of cruelty. [emoji90] [emoji12] [emoji3]
Proof if ever needed, that truck drivers are intelligent and professional.
11 pages of flatulence. PMSL.
I actually remember the excitement at school, of knowing you had a loud one brewing. We had those horrible hard plastic seated stools. They seemed to really amplify the sound. Raucous applause when one tore through the classroom during a dull geography lesson.
30 years later, I still ■■■■ myself when someone ■■■■■ loudly. I need to grow up.
eagerbeaver:
I actually remember the excitement at school, of knowing you had a loud one brewing. We had those horrible hard plastic seated stools. They seemed to really amplify the sound. Raucous applause when one tore through the classroom during a dull geography lesson
I hate religion, and at my secondary school leavers service/hypocrisy lecture at the nearby church, all the years of compulsory religious education at primary school was avenged…
…I let rip on the wooden chairs during the Lords Prayer.
I’m proud to this day that I’ve actually “■■■■■■ in church”.*
*And offended a couple of devout christian schoolmates in the process. 
eagerbeaver:
Proof if ever needed, that truck drivers are intelligent and professional.11 pages of flatulence. PMSL.
I actually remember the excitement at school, of knowing you had a loud one brewing. We had those horrible hard plastic seated stools. They seemed to really amplify the sound. Raucous applause when one tore through the classroom during a dull geography lesson.
30 years later, I still ■■■■ myself when someone ■■■■■ loudly. I need to grow up.
We used to sit on the wooden floor to do assembly and sing songs. One morning I let one go of such magnitude that the bulb blew in the projector which projected the songs up onto the wall to sing off. The headmaster shouted out," who did that?!" Everyone through fits of laughter pointed at me and I ended up doing a thousand lines in dinner times as punishment
I thought I’d done everyone a favour.
eagerbeaver:
Proof if ever needed, that truck drivers are intelligent and professional.11 pages of flatulence. PMSL.
I actually remember the excitement at school, of knowing you had a loud one brewing. We had those horrible hard plastic seated stools. They seemed to really amplify the sound. Raucous applause when one tore through the classroom during a dull geography lesson.
30 years later, I still ■■■■ myself when someone ■■■■■ loudly. I need to grow up.
+1
Hiya,
Even at my age I still remember our teacher ordering the offending trumper’s, firstly
identifying them by name then ordering them into the corridor then telling them “to
stay out there until you sweeten” surprisingly how many of us tried to “force one out”
in my case to escape maths which I’m still no good at. My problem nowadays is a zero
sense of smell so I have to await reaction from my missus to see if I’m giving benefit.
thanks harry, long retired.
I often christen any vehicle I drive,has to be done
truckman020:
I often christen any vehicle I drive,has to be done
I once christened a police riot van, one I was in the back of after being dawn raided by the old bill for football violence I was handled a bit more roughly going into the cop shop out of the van than I would’ve been if I didn’t float an air biscuit in the back of their ride