I’ve decided to give up In Cab ■■■■■■■.
I was in my car this morning, feeling a little unwell, probably the onset of terminal man-flu.
Anyway, to cheer myself up I let go an absolutely cracking ■■■■ which almost sounded like a more baritone version of the archers theme tune.
20 seconds later I was struggling, genuinely struggling, to keep the contents of my stomach down. I had the window down and was dry heaving out of the window as quickly as possible.
Had to pull over to regain composure.
Large lamb shish kebab with chilli sauce washed down with red wine last night. Not good this morning! Mrs has put a curry in slow cooker for tonight so tomorrow could be really bad!
8wheels:
gardun:
Not always it doesn’t
+1 quality
Scarab:
I’ve decided to give up In Cab ■■■■■■■.I was in my car this morning, feeling a little unwell, probably the onset of terminal man-flu.
Anyway, to cheer myself up I let go an absolutely cracking ■■■■ which almost sounded like a more baritone version of the archers theme tune.20 seconds later I was struggling, genuinely struggling, to keep the contents of my stomach down. I had the window down and was dry heaving out of the window as quickly as possible.
Had to pull over to regain composure.
i`m also “tempirarily out of action” but for a totally different reason.
after a heavy weekend on magners my nipper is reduced to a quivering bloody mess 
Ha ha! My ring currently resembles the opening credits from the old TV programme “Bonanza”
A ripe one snuck out in the back of the truck whilst wheeling off pallets, oh why can’t I have a curtainsider, or a puke bucket 
I broadcast a particularly squeaky one over the cb to amuse the drivers waiting to get on the weighbridge earlier; a subbie came back with “call the police, Corbetts ■■■■■■ Sweep again!”
Ouch, I think I may have just ruptured something!
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Following Saturday night’s curry I ended up in trouble with the other half for my orchestral performance in bed Sunday morning.
Scarab:
I’ve decided to give up In Cab ■■■■■■■.I was in my car this morning, feeling a little unwell, I let go an absolutely cracking ■■■■
20 seconds later I was struggling, genuinely struggling, to keep the contents of my stomach down. I had the window down and was dry heaving out of the window as quickly as possible.
Had to pull over to regain composure.
I’m afraid your ■■■■ wasn’t the cause of your discomfort. Medical research has proven beyond all doubt that not matter how bad it smells, you can ALWAYS savour the smell of your own with impunity.
As my dear old Dad always used to say, “a ■■■■ without a ■■■■ is like a song without a tune.” Bless him.
hiya,
When reading this I feel short changed, I genuinely have no sense of smell,
so only those present get any benefit, life can be very cruel sometimes,
my wife says she never breaks wind, how would I know ■■ and the two
grand daughters are always blaming Grandad for any odours which happen
to waft around the house, if I was “mutton” I wouldn’t get any satisfaction
at all, so all you guys and gals out there who are totally in full command of
their senses just thank your lucky stars and keep a clothes peg handy.
thanks harry long retired.
Anyone remember the film, Blazing saddles? as they are all sat round the camp fire, hilarious,
youtube.com/watch?v=Ku4aAhxcbLw&feature=fvst
brilliant thread my stomach has been aching with laughter. 
when i was on agency and i worked for a firm that treated me crap I used to always try and burn a hole in the seat with my ■■■■, but somehow I could never quite get enough power behind me 
If site staff wont leave the tea room, I give them a silent souvenir of my visit.
if one wanted to do the right thing,then ones collegues could be warned of the impending stench by the means of a “little tommy squeaker”
Two medical students were walking along the street when they saw an old man
Walking with his legs spread apart. He was stiff-legged and walking slowly.
One student said to his friend:
“I’m sure that poor old man has Peltry Syndrome.
Those people walk just like that.”
The other student says:
“No, I don’t think so. The old man surely has Zovitzki Syndrome.
He walks slowly and his legs are apart, just as we learned in class.”
Since they couldn’t agree they decided to ask the old man. They approached him
And one of the students said to him,
“We’re medical students and couldn’t help but notice the way you walk,
but we couldn’t agree on the syndrome you might have.
Could you tell us what it is?”
The old man said,
“I’ll tell you, but first you tell me what you two fine medical students think.”
The first student said, “I think it’s Peltry Syndrome.”
The old man said, “You thought - but you are wrong.”
The other student said, “I think you have Zovitzki Syndrome.”
The old man said, “You thought - but you are wrong.”
So they asked him, “Well, old timer, what do you have?”
The old man said,
“I thought it was wind - but I was wrong, too!”
Ok, it maybe a cartoon, but a good selection of ■■■■■ anyway…
Just been booked for a double manned run on Friday. I did a double manned run today, though however much I tried, I couldn’t get a decent ■■■■ going, so tomorrow’s food will consist of lots of ■■■■■ foods. Hopefully the other driver will be asleep and I plan to wake him up with a choker of a ■■■■.
A gallon of Guinnness followd by a chicken ,ham and garlic calzone created some superb results today as my colleagues ill testify!. Pity it was in a large pumphouse rather than the confines of a vehicle.
I find a few pints of Darkstar bitter helps brew up a nice storm. Especially if its got bits of sediment in the bottom of the glass.