Next time you have a bad day at work…think of this guy.
Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana…
He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103.2 on FM dial in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest.
Needless to say, she won.
Hi Sue,
Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a
bad day at the office. I know you’ve been feeling down lately at work, so
I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it’s not
so bad after all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must
bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies
at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. ! It’s a wetsuit.
This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm
is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000
piece of equipment ■■■■■ the water out of the sea. It heats it to a
delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a
garden hose,which is taped to the air hose.
Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I’ve used it several times with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It’s like working in a Jacuzzi.
Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my ■■■■ started to
itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a
few seconds my ■■■■ started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back,
but the damage was done.In agony I realized what had happened. The hot
water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now, since I don’t have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn’t stick to it. However, the crack of my ■■■■ was not as fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my ■■■■.
I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator.
His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five
Other divers, were all laughing hysterically.
Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three
agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes
before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression.
When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass
helmet.
As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter
running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on
my ■■■■ as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I
couldn’t poop for two days because my ■■■■ was swollen shut.
So, next time you’re having a bad day at work, think about how much
worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your ■■■■.
Now repeat to yourself, “I love my job, I love my job, I love my job”.
. Unfortunatley/Fortunatley whichever way you want to look at it, the male nurse was called to extract the spines in double quick time