Got more chance of getting a ■■■■■■■■ off the Pope
If your sick and bring up a ring with hair round it, swallow it quick as it’s your arse hole
You’ve got more chance of ■■■■■■■■ in the queens handbag old son
she’s got a face like a plumbers knee 
Ched:
You’ve got more chance of [zb] in the queens handbag old son
wow i spelt “zb” as [zb] and it STILL got busted by the censor!
and that censor dodge was busted by a Mod. 
she had a fanny like a yawning donkey 
comet:
about as much use as ■■■■ on a fish
I promise to use this in an everyday conversation
Your mums so fat her school pic was an aerial photo.
Your mums so fat when she went to school she sat next to everyone.
Your mums so fat her arse has got its own heart and lungs.
Your mums so fat each of her bum cheeks are in a different postcode…
comet:
she had a fanny like a yawning donkey
It’s more commonly known as a “Hippos Yawn”
You’re welcome.
“Which ■■■■■■ position produces the ugliest children?”
“Ask your mother” …
" About as much good as a one-legged man in an arse-kicking competition " , is a polite
way to describe a useless person.
Cheers, cattle wagon man.
Id rather [zb] in me hands and clap…
He’s on it like a tramp on chips…
One good turn deserves most of the blankets
Face like a battered snap tin!
Or
I bet she can ■■■■ like a brewers hoss!
On seeing a nice looking bird.“would rather be in that than in the army”
She’s had more pricks than a second hand dartboard.
He’s got more faces than a townhall clock
She’s had more rides than a Blackpool donkey
Sometimes I look at you & wonder, have you got a birth certificate or a lab report?
Sorry Boss, I couldn’t tell that was going to happen as I’ve only got hairy balls, not crystal balls
Finally, don’t forget the old favourite, I’ve done more miles in reverse than you’ve done going forward
She’s had more pricks than a second hand dartboard.
He’s got more faces than a townhall clock
She’s had more rides than a Blackpool donkey
Sometimes I look at you & wonder, have you got a birth certificate or a lab report?
Sorry Boss, I couldn’t tell that was going to happen as I’ve only got hairy balls, not crystal balls
Finally, don’t forget the old favourite, I’ve done more miles in reverse than you’ve done going forward
" My mouths as dry as a nuns crouch"
“You would not screw her for practice”
Carlc:
" My mouths as dry as a nuns crotch"
“You would not screw her for practice”
FTFY
I’d eat her ■■■■
Does a pope ■■■■ in the woods