I have just been following a disagreement on a World War 1 website. The final comment was “Please take advantage of the joys of ■■■ and foreign travel”. 
dont ■■■■ down my back and tell me its raining!
Sweating like a glass blowers arse… or sweating like a fat lad in a pieshop…or she looks like shes been set on fire and put out with a number 10 shovel…thers loads of em… 
She had a face like fire damaged Lego
Sweating like Jimmy saville whilst visiting a childrens hospital ward.
Last time i saw a figure like that . . it was being milked.
Last time I saw legs like that they were hanging out of a nest
Last time I saw an arse as big as that , it had a lot number on it , and it was in a sale ring at a cattle market !
Cheers , cattle wagon man.
failing to plan, is planning to fail.
always plan ahead
And the six P’s. .
Perfect, Planning, Prevents, ■■■■, Poor, Performance.
mushroomman:
And the six P’s.
Perfect, Planning, Prevents, ■■■■, Poor, Performance.
I think you’ll find it’s the 7 p’s:
Perfect planning and preparation prevents ■■■■ poor performance
Just saying :-p
That’s seven P’s and an A. 
Just saying. 
She/he couldn’t carry a note if other was in a bucket.
A problem is not a problem its the solution and reaction to the problem that’s the problem!!
Google Winston Churchill funny sayings. He made some beauties. ie
A lady at a party “Sir you are drunk!!”
W.Churchill “yes madam i am, but tomorrow i will be sober, but you will still be ugly!!”
Genius.
She had a fanny like a clowns pocket/wizards sleeve
Adjust to suit
To someone who always to has to get one up on you. “If I ■■■■■■ he’d ■■■■ his pants.”
I’d swim a mile through shark infested ■■■■ to ■■■■ the mans ■■■■ who’s just shagged her!
She’s thankful for mobile phones because she’d never fit in a phonebox.
Get Rat Arrrrrrrrt 
She / he / it’s got a face like a box of smashed crabs.
If i had a bag of bruised willies, i would’nt give her one.
Sweating like a fat kid with a salad.
Sweating like a dyslexic on countdown.
She was wetter than an otter’s pockets.
When you have done a meag ■■■■ and everyone looks at you -
Sorry I had to let it out otherwise it would have travelled up to my brain and I would have had a crappy idea!
How can a person with only one head be that stupid?
She’s been shot over more times than the Suez Canal.
Last time I saw legs like that they were holding a snooker table up.
Last time I saw a face that ugly they were pouring boiling oil out of it.
She’s a Kronenbourg girl, 16 from behind, 66 from the front.