Nice from a far but far from nice.
A face like a bulldog lickin ■■■■ off a thistle.
Looks like a bulldog chewin a bottle of mayonaise.
Rather ■■■■ sick through a sweaty sock.
Madguy 
“As much use as a three speed walking stick” 
I’m sweating like a blind lesbian in a fish shop
What about ,you don’t get done for doing it ! You get done for getting caught.
She’s that big, you’d have to look at her twice to see her all.
Its banging worse that a [zb]house door in a gale!
He’s built like a brick [zb]house!
caledoniandream:
Face as a welders bench, and arse as a backend of a bus.And about the woman with a good figure, but an ugly face:
Chassis alright, but cab smashed to [zb].
I’d rather fight her than (zb) her.
you wouldnt know weather to ■■■■ it or fight it
She / he / it’s got a head like Birkenhead.
Face like a dropped pie.
Built for comfort and not speed.
Wouldnt ram it with a stolen ■■■■.
Been cocked more times than John Waynes rifle.
Even the Somalians wouldnt kipnap it.
I left her with a face like a painters radio
kr79:
I left her with a face like a painters radio
Hahahahahaha best one so far!!! I’m gonna use that in every day life. Cheers mate.
kr79:
I left her with a face like a painters radio
just choked after reading that
You couldn’t pull if you were a tug boat
and …
Did you fall from heaven? Cos it looks like you landed on your face …
Looked as confused as a monkey with an alarm clock.
You really are the load your mum should’ve swallowed!
I used to say to my ex stepson. “I wish that your dad only had a Tommy Tank that night.” Hated the little get.
the best part of you ran down ya mothers leg