- Had a “spread-axle” in the dark when you really had to …!!!
- Had a minor ‘celebrity’ run into the rear of your trailer shouting that it was your fault for stopping
60…
‘Crazytrucker’
It was a 60’s footballer, ratarsed 
- Stopped to help a damsel in distress, only to find out she’s an ex-Page 3 girl now a ■■■■■■ and you get a reduced rate for her services
‘Crazytrucker’
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Been pulled into a weighbridge only to find Vosa cooking a BBQ and asking if you want a BeefBurger…
62… Started a truck related urban myth and then had it repeated back to you as gospel a few years later. 
63…
63 - Had ■■■ with a prostitute then shes went and had a dump underneath your trailer and kindly asked to wipe her bottom with your best polishing cloth to only TRY and hand it back to you after doing so…
chris:
seeing as this thread was stolen from me, by steve-o, i will compile a top ten in the next couple of days, so keep them coming.
57- you’ve carried a load of live bumble bees, and when you get to the weighbridge you slam the brakes on, so they all buzz round and don’t weigh anything
no chance, it’s my threat now haha, you’re just peeved it’s doing better than yours
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You come on Truck Net and publish the amount of profit, or in the original case loss your depot is making per week and say the company has no backbone
joedwyer1:
56. until you have murdered a prostitute
Best one so far 
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Had a dump in the cab
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you have a fire in the back of a loaded, sealed container and have to close the A421 just off the M1 towards Bedford for a few hours, also making the Radio 2 traffic report
scottishcruiser:
63 - Had ■■■ with a prostitute then shes went and had a dump underneath your trailer and kindly asked to wipe her bottom with your best polishing cloth to only TRY and hand it back to you after doing so…
that is deffo in the top ten
Steve-o:
no chance, it’s my threat now haha, you’re just peeved it’s doing better than yours
67 youve driven to newcastle upon tyne when in reality you should have been in newcastle under lyme ( wasnt me before anyone starts but a puddle jumper driver at my last place )
68
68
You have just finished a 72 hour week, driven 38 miles to get home and emptyed out you pockets only to find the truck keys among your small change 
and had to take them back, pronto…bugger
- had a row with a stroppy security guard who is giving you loads of attitude then when they ask your name you tell them panathanikos theodopapopolis, and refuse when he asks you to spell it!
70…
- Your boss buy you Speciaal Transport and gives you the best trips!
71…
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Unless you met 7,5 t driver who could not reverse at all and then he said “Oh, it’s because normally I drive 44 tonners, you know…”
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you heard from an older driver that you are still only a steam above a driver’s sh.t, you’ll become a driver when you will have driven as many miles as he had reversed,
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you gave a lift to two female student hitch-hikers, about 18/20/25yrs old, on their way to uni camp/glastonbury/balaton and they cleaned your windscreen while you were refuelling and then they paid for the lift by “services” during a 45min break,
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you took onboard a ■■■■■■, drove her 10/25/50 miles down the road talking to her and then let her go apologizing “I thought you only wanted a lift…”
I just gotta do it
75. You ain’t a proper driver until you can do a twin-splitter or a 13 speed Fuller!
76.
‘Crazytrucker’
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You’ve counselled a narked tractor driver in London 'of course I saw you madam, but where does it tell me to give way to busy housewives/mothers/tramps racing from behind that wants the same road space as me ahead?
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Your timely advice saves a planner from having to blush later.