- Had a black pudding baguette for breakfast.
79.Worn jeans, red checked shirt, rigger boots whilst sporting a Magnum P.I. tache.
-
You’re not even mildy tempted to stop on your car drive home & join the two dozen motorists to ask the cheesed-off but safe driver of a jack-knifed artic in the snow ‘…what happened, mate?..’
-
You’ve seen an Eastern European exchange insurance details in a truck stop next to a) a pile of fresh debris, or b) a torn tautliner.
- Get a lift with your mate on the ferry to collect your truck from the docks and half way across the Irish sea relise you have bought your car keys and not the truck keys and have a 12 hour wait in Heysham for the next ferry for some one to bring your keys…
83.Forget to tell your mate he"s switched his vaccuum tanker on blow instead of ■■■■ and watch him blow the top out of a waste water tank like a geezer …
84 Driven half way across the country with your tail lift covering all your back lights.
85 Driven a loaded car transporter from Bristol to Derby and find when you come to unload that at least 2 of the cars had no straps on them but never moved an inch.
86
-
gone steaming along the motorway, then realise as you pass the exit slip to the services that was the one you want, your on 4 hours 20 minutes, and the next exit is 20 minutes away.
START FROM THE BOTTOM
1-
sharky007:
10)…you miss a step when getting out of the truck and end up falling on your arse!
normally in front a crowd too
2-
darkseeker:
15) had a daily rest on a bay because you ran out of hours, the police came and put cones around you and chalk and a circle of salt to keep demons away
3-
DAF95XF:
Had a dump in the back of a tipper and then noticed a double decker bus full of passengers
28…
4-
truckerjon:
30) you’ve just been flashed by a blonde in a short skirt wearing no ■■■■■■■ driving a Porche!
5-
gogzy:
44: pushed a car sideways up the A1 at wetherby
6-
Crazytrucker:
60. Stopped to help a damsel in distress, only to find out she’s an ex-Page 3 girl now a ■■■■■■ and you get a reduced rate for her services
7-
scottishcruiser:
63 - Had ■■■ with a prostitute then shes went and had a dump underneath your trailer and kindly asked to wipe her bottom with your best polishing cloth to only TRY and hand it back to you after doing so…
8-
205:
68
You have just finished a 72 hour week, driven 38 miles to get home and emptyed out you pockets only to find the truck keys among your small changeand had to take them back, pronto…bugger
9-
gogzy:
25: been over shap in a force 10 blizzard
10-
newmercman:
51: You’ve driven a lorry that goes better when it’s loaded than when it’s empty
truckerjon:
86) gone steaming along the motorway, then realise as you pass the exit slip to the services that was the one you want, your on 4 hours 20 minutes, and the next exit is 20 minutes away.
-
you’ve spoke to the driver in the RDC canteen who was next in line to board the MS Herald of Free Enterprise but was stopped because it was full.
-
you’ve hauled a reefer full of swinging meat with 26 tonnes of sheet metal underneath.
-
you’ve put adblue in the diesel tank
- As i did in the early days of helping a mate out in an ERF with the twin splitter…sat at T-junction for about 5 mins in a hurry to get home,see a gap,give it loads,just about pulled half way outta junction,flicked the switch…nothing Brought the A4 Thatcham to a standstill for ages while i crunched n grind!!! Felt like shutting the curtains on the nice car drivers who were still ‘waving’ when passing me on the dc near Max Cafe!!!
ooo errrr…i’ve been [zb]d but i said ‘f.l.i.c.k.e.d’
91… you have chased a silver peugeot 10 miles round the M25 gawping at her stockings and suspenders only to later discover it was a ■■■■■■ {he did have ■■■■ nice legs though }
- You’re not a proper trucker until you’ve been an agency driver and taken home a grand for a weeks work.
- You’ve had your day ruined by some moron who cant do their job properly
- Made your evening meal whilst watching a dvd on the laptop on the M6.
95
-
The blue-chip client sends you home - but pays you, despite being inappropriately dressed on your first day with them.
96 you’re not a proper trucker until you’ve stopped to ask for directions and the drop was right opposite
97
DAF95XF:
96 you’re not a proper trucker until you’ve stopped to ask for directions and the drop was right opposite97
until you ignore when Jon gets in touch with you to see how your new job is going… 
C-Kay:
93. You’ve had your day ruined by some moron who cant do their job properly
That’s how everyone at my place feels, about me 
…
garnerlives:
DAF95XF:
96 you’re not a proper trucker until you’ve stopped to ask for directions and the drop was right opposite97
until you ignore when Jon gets in touch with you to see how your new job is going…
When did you text then?
97- you’ve pulled up to the gatehouse of LOREAL in wales and asked “do you know where GOLDEN LTD is mate?” 
garnerlives:
C-Kay:
93. You’ve had your day ruined by some moron who cant do their job properlyThat’s how everyone at my place feels, about me
And probably me at my new place
Going back to C-Kays one - Ive had this happened to me twice already, got to a drop, paperwork in hand opened the back doors/curtains and then find out that the pallet wasnt even loaded
Rob K:
92. You’re not a proper trucker until you’ve been an agency driver and taken home a grand for a weeks work.
Very good 