I used to be captain of a nuclear attack submarine,when I left the andrew I was desperate to drive a big truck,I now have more safety gear than when I was in command down at the Falklands ā¦beat that.
Youāll remember me then fuse, I was in the SBS team that exited your sub via the torpedo tubes and then ran amok bringing the war to an early conclusion. Beat that.
fuse:
I used to be captain of a nuclear attack submarine,when I left the andrew I was desperate to drive a big truck,I now have more safety gear than when I was in command down at the Falklands ā¦beat that.
My old POME Bob Guthrie did that trip on Conx. I worked for the TG Tiff who got a MiD for that Casing repair too but I canāt remember his name.
You should of said that you were the old Jimmy, he was that dodgy he probably is a truck driver now (he was pretty good at losing log books)ā¦
Though its not exactly the Hearald of Free Enterprise, I wonder how long it will be before some claims that they missed this boat by minutes??
See THIS THREAD. I only missed it by a minute or two.
i was on it, im the one who tried to save the captain by shoving him in the lifeboat.
hth
I saw you, I could tell it was you because of your leg.
did you notice i had my hi viz on in case of emergencysā¦ and look it worked.
HTH
Indeed. Any hoo, what about your course today, there must have been some primo BS on that?
usual ā ā ā ā about stobarts being owned by tesco and they are on there way down the pan, and then a couple of belters about a drivehire driver being followed and his load of vodka being nicked out of the trailers whilst parked in the services during the day, and another driver got a gate in london and being diveted round the corner to a bond and losing a load of whiskeyā¦ back again next for more ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā .
I was watching the telly in the cabin while crossing the gulf of finland once, all of four hours but you get a cabin, albeit you have to share. so this older estonian gentleman walks in and starts yapping about his days driving a cement mixer in the UK somewhere. I didnāt really care but he obviously needed someone to hear about his Ā£700 a week wages and that the british have a supertruck that no other country has, one that has 1000hp and gets 14mpg
never been across la manche myself, so for all I know, it might be true
cieranc:
Trick with the bulls hitters is to remember everything they say, write it down on the sly, all the details.
Then get them to recite the same story 2 months later, the place, motor, names in the story will all have changed.
First time round itāll have been 51 tons in the tipper, two months later itāll be 74 tons.
Aye but, then they just wriggle out of it. I just nod and
I JUST hope to hell all you guys are NOT telling me all these tales are lies!. Iāve NEVER been told a lie by a trucker anywhere be it an R.D.C. or wherever. Anyone who tries to tell me drivers are not made up of ex-SAS are just telling porkies. Iāve spoken to them so there! And if you go into goods- in you can see boxes of chalk and tape which the cops say they have to stock, so said plod can use it when needed. And millions of drivers must have missed the herald of free enterpriseā¦how could they fit all of them on FFS so they MUST have missed it. Are you all thick or what? P.S. Iāve got an 18" ā ā ā ā and all the young girls in the office want to ā ā ā ā me. I have to do it alphabetically. Monday I do the A.B.Cs Tuesday itās the D.E.F.Gsā¦etc etc. Oh and I take home Ā£1230.45 a week for a job n knock. Start about 7pm or whenever I feel like turning up, get T/M to hook her up, go round n shag his wife AND twin daughters, and home by midnight. So no more lies please chaps.
Coo, you got a live one there!! Youāll have to keep him primed and see what other little gems he comes up with. Years ago Iād have told him to [zb] off, but Iām a bit more mellow and maybe even savvy now? No, anyone with that line in BS is fun for me these days
Keep us ll posted as to what else he comes up with?
i has getting my container loaded at biffa waste the other morning and a bloke came ove to me for a chat well i say chat he spoke and i had to look like a was listening and the jist was every frim he ever worked for was great apart from 1 person and he always left because of that person but he still get phone calls of his previous firms asking him back but always tells them not untill such and such body has gone
his best one was he took a low loader into stobarts yard at crick just before it had opened to turn around while in there a guy in a suit asked him what he was doing and that he should work for a proper firm like stobarts this hero said to suited and booted bloke he would never work for the ā ā ā ā and carried on it was only when he got to the gate to get out again he was told it was MR STOBART himself
that green light couldnt come fast enough
One chap I worked with (I shall call him Benny for legal reasons) was telling us one night in the bar at the Carlisle truck stop he had been in the SAS and defended the Queen when she was in one of her homes and saved her life with his quick reaction. One dark and foggy night, very cold and wet he was standing by the castle wall when he heard a footstep behind him. He was just about to shoot the person when he realized it was the Queen in her dressing gown and nightie. " Itās OK Benny" she said " I just thought you may like a pot of tea and some toast seeing as it is so cold outside"
I used to make sure that I didnāt have my company name on my jacket when I stood near him in case others thought I was with himā¦
He was telling a chap one day about the time he loaded some chemicals from ICI Thornton in one of Gilbraithās tankers and it had to be taken to America. It was so dangerous that he had to be with it at all times and deliver it in person. He went to America on the ship and had the best cabin and stayed in the best hotels in the States. I think he actually believed what he was saying
He was driving one of our Leyland Buffalos at the time, a vehicle I thought should always be in walking distance of a telephone as it broke down so often.
^ The old fella in a suit turns out to be the owner routineā¦ Second only to the scruffy fella in the overalls who turns out to be the owner routineā¦
What would the donkeys who repeat these tall tales do without brew/waiting rooms? coz they certainly aināt got the imagination to think these stories up on their ownā¦
The green light couldnāt switch on fast enoughā¦ haha
wirralpete:
, he also told us about the top of the range caravan he and his wife would tour round europe in and in all fairness he did have a caravan club car sticker on his carā¦
a smart carā¦
with no towing eye!
Lot of motorhomers and those with caravans have the van or tow vehicle with another smaller car for other stuff. If he was a mptorhomer he could have towed the smart behind the van.
I was driving a double deck coach on a private hire and the pickup point was changed when an rta closed the road. Another coach turned up as well and I suggested we returned to the parking area that was closer to the event anyway. Agency driver that I was I didnāt know this guy was the boss had been nice to security earlier so managed to get us two in and parked up on my one parking pass . When the customers left the event they were a bit bladdered and had a right go at me and the other guy and were quite abusive quoting āI know your boss and Iām a good friend and you will get sacked over thisā. Needless to say, no complaints ever reached me and I worked there again driving most of their fleet
I used to work at a company where the boss worked in the workshop. Best boss I worked for Jason.
There is a good old coach driverās tale of an O/D coach operator who had a passenger who was complaining about everything, giving him and other passengers agro. The coach pulls into a service area and a taxi pulls up next to it. The coach driver goes up to the passenger and says āTime to leave,your taxi to take you home is hereā. Passenger gets mardy and says sheāll report him to the boss. Coach driver points to the legal lettering on the side, says āI AM THE BOSS, GOODBYEā.
Had something similar happen to my mum a few years ago, driver had been for interview with my stepfather and had the job in the bag, he was asked to nip down the garage with a 53 seater and fuel up, thing is the ācleanerā was still on board doing the ashtrays and such like (this happened with all prospective drivers), apparently he had a good old moan, heād been everywhere and done it all, but he ragged the arse off the motor, when the cleaner got back she of course had a word with the old man and the guy was sacked more or less before he started and was going on what would a bloody cleaner know about driving, thing is the cleaner was my mother (with a full psv & cpc) and she was backing the coach in the garage as he was been literally thrown out of the office.
AlexWignall:
^ The old fella in a suit turns out to be the owner routineā¦ Second only to the scruffy fella in the overalls who turns out to be the owner routineā¦
What would the donkeys who repeat these tall tales do without brew/waiting rooms? coz they certainly aināt got the imagination to think these stories up on their ownā¦
The green light couldnāt switch on fast enoughā¦ haha
W
the worst bit was was were allowed to sit in the cab so i was minding my own giving the cab a wipe and this guy came over and opened my door to talk
cliffton 27:
the worst bit was was were allowed to sit in the cab so i was minding my own giving the cab a wipe and this guy came over and opened my door to talk
Someone does that to me they get a two word greeting, the second of which is off.
cliffton 27:
the worst bit was was were allowed to sit in the cab so i was minding my own giving the cab a wipe and this guy came over and opened my door to talk
Someone does that to me they get a two word greeting, the second of which is off.
i must make a note of this to remember for next time thanks pal
had been nice to security earlier so managed to get us two in and parked up on my one parking pass 
