ullage thats the word i was trying to rermember…thanks coffee 
jimmy
Coffeeholic:
bubsy06:
Can someone remind me of that story about a driver curling one out in his trailer, I am running low on BS stories and I can only remember parts of the ■■■ in a trailer one. I need the type of trailer, who was on the bus and where it happened. CheersBulk tipper.
Nuns, schoolgirls, Women’s Institute or pensioners.
Anywhere you like but busy city centres are usually preferred.
I hope this helps.
Perf
Trick with the bulls hitters is to remember everything they say, write it down on the sly, all the details.
Then get them to recite the same story 2 months later, the place, motor, names in the story will all have changed.
First time round it’ll have been 51 tons in the tipper, two months later it’ll be 74 tons.
JIMBO47:
ullage thats the word i was trying to rermember…thanks coffee
jimmy
Happy to help. 
Oh, can anyone remember how many cigarettes, immigrants and tooth fairies limeyphil had in his trailer that day? I dont wanna get caught out by my mate by saying i had 400,000 cigarettes, 35 immigrants and 23 tooth fairies when in fact you can only fit 390,000 cigarettes, 32 immigrants and 20 tooth fairies in to the back of a trailer.
Took a new driver down to Milan and back last week and he came out with the following 
"Once when I was driving for CFS I got my unit stuck up the side of a mountain in Switzerland, could’nt turn round so the Swiss Army were called and they used a Chinook to lift me of the mountain and turn the truck around " !!!
What he does’nt know is I spent 10 years in the SAS so I know he’s lying
steve the argonaut:
Took a new driver down to Milan and back last week and he came out with the following"Once when I was driving for CFS I got my unit stuck up the side of a mountain in Switzerland, could’nt turn round so the Swiss Army were called and they used a Chinook to lift me of the mountain and turn the truck around " !!!
What he does’nt know is I spent 10 years in the SAS so I know he’s lying
I do know a bloke who got a Wagon and Drag stuck on an access road to a Ski Resort in Austria. Some fool told him he could avoid the need for ECO Stamps if he stuck to the minor roads. The cretin was tipping in Linz anyhow.
I was this donkeys traffic planner at the time so I’m telling the truth. Luckily a local farmer dragged the Combi back onto the main road before I had to explain the situation to the boss.
Just glad that job is a distant memory.
W
bubsy06:
Oh, can anyone remember how many cigarettes, immigrants and tooth fairies limeyphil had in his trailer that day? I dont wanna get caught out by my mate by saying i had 400,000 cigarettes, 35 immigrants and 23 tooth fairies when in fact you can only fit 390,000 cigarettes, 32 immigrants and 20 tooth fairies in to the back of a trailer.
I’m sorry but we can’t help because part of this doesn’t really exist and is only a tale parents tell to their children and is in no way true. Limeyphil is a figment of the imagination.
I hope this helps.
when i worked on the norse merchant ships as a tuggie we had a foreman named frank who had been there and done it all including driving, best one he came out with was when he was driving a empty low loader to anglesey and was having a break off the A55. suddenly a helicopter landed in the field next to him and the pilot jumped out and said he was lost looking for holyhead, “no worries” says frank “im on my way there now why dont i give you a lift” the pilot accepted and promptly jumped into the helicopter and landed it on the low loader, frank strapped it down and soon had the pilot in holyhead…what a hero!
my last job saw me atthe eurotunnel one sunday morning heading back to uk, down the queque i saw another one of our tankers with a new driver in it, once on the train we got talking to another driver who drove for a rally team, the rally driver told us about being in russia to which our driver blurted out “i lived there for years” and went off on a story about this stunner who he lived with in russia.
next was norway on the rally drivers countries to which the i heard the words “i lived there too” and anoother story about his meeting some stunning lady and moving there. he was then on a roll and told us about his time in the paras including his war in the falklands…i couldnt wait to get off the train and kept away from him after that. i later heard he had come out with the falkslands story to our yard man who asked which battalion he had served in as he had family who where in the falklands with the paras.
bloke was stumped for a moment before replying “well the paras was my parent unit actually i was in the regiment”, he also told us about the top of the range caravan he and his wife would tour round europe in and in all fairness he did have a caravan club car sticker on his car…
a smart car…
with no towing eye! 
wirralpete:
when i worked on the norse merchant ships as a tuggie we had a foreman named frank who had been there and done it all including driving, best one he came out with was when he was driving a empty low loader to anglesey and was having a break off the A55. suddenly a helicopter landed in the field next to him and the pilot jumped out and said he was lost looking for holyhead, “no worries” says frank “im on my way there now why dont i give you a lift” the pilot accepted and promptly jumped into the helicopter and landed it on the low loader, frank strapped it down and soon had the pilot in holyhead…what a hero!
We have a winner.
I actually heard the one about police being called to tape around the truck whilst he had his 11 the other day. I had to stop myself laughing out loud because it was told with such conviction it was as if he believed it to be real.
Apparently he was going to run out of hours by the time they were finished tipping. They ordered him to move so he rang the police, they came out, taped round the truck and threatened the warehouse guys, saying if they had reports from the driver that they were deliberately being noisy they would come back and fine the company. Not only that, but they had to supply the driver with both dinner AND breakfast the next morning.
I finally felt like a truck driver hearing that story, I didn’t realise people actually went round and still told this bs.
The Pariah:
I had to stop myself laughing out loud because it was told with such conviction it was as if he believed it to be real.
[/quote[
I think you’ve hit the nail on the head. They’ve told it so often they’ve forgotten it didn’t actually happen and when you challenge them it just causes confusion because they really believe it’s real.The Pariah:
I finally felt like a truck driver hearing that story
It’s like a coming of age ritual, welcome to the fraternity.
bubsy06:
Can someone remind me of that story about a driver curling one out in his trailer, I am running low on BS stories and I can only remember parts of the ■■■ in a trailer one. I need the type of trailer, who was on the bus and where it happened. Cheers
We used to regularly “curl one out” into the bulk bags of sand & gravel that we used to deliver to B&Q, builders merchants if we got caught short. But that was inside a curtainsider.
So remember, if your buying bulk sand & gravel bags, don`t go scooping your hand into the top of the product. You may never know what might be laying under the surface
But heres another “true Story” that you may have read before
Here the tale of a guy named Nigel
Nigel use to driver a rigid truck with a HiHab arm, going around the local recycling places (supermarkets etc) emptying those domed bins. You know the ones, they hook em up, lift em in the back, hook a chain and the bottom opens up.
1 day Nigel is busy emptying some bins at a supermarket, Green glass, clear glass, brown glass etc. Anyhow a guy comes over and says that he’s been watching Nigel tipping the bins, and he’s a bit miffed that he and like minded citizens have gone to the trouble of separating all the different kinds of glass into separate bins, only for Nigel to mix em up again when he tips em into the back of the truck.
Nigel tried to explain that the back of the truck is split into separate compartments, and the glass doesn’t get mixed up. He’d like to let the guy climb up the ladder and look in the back buts its against Health & Safety rules. But the guy`s having none of it and is convinced it’s getting mixed up and storms off in a strop after being told to ofski. After a few moments Nigel carries on, but not before for the 8 pints and the curry he had the night before to make its effect felt.
So Nigel being a man in the know figured he wouldn’t make it in time to the supermarket toilets before making a mess of himself, but he knew he’d got 1 empty compartment left in the truck, and being around the side of the supermarket, he knew it would be quiet-ish.
So after grabbing the standard issue bog roll out of the cab, he managed to climb in the back of the truck and proceeded to drop his pants and relieve his problem.
After a few minutes however “Mr tree hugger” comes back in a huff, still not convinced that Nigel’s right. However the truck is still there, but Nigel is nowhere to be seen & start shouting “driver, driver where are you?”. Nigel squatting with his pants down however has heard the voice and assumes silent running mode. Next thing Nigel knows is ……………… Mr tree Hugger has climbed up the side to take a look and see if the truck does indeed have separate compartments in the back.
I don’t really know who was the most shocked……………
Nigel seeing the guy peering over the side,
Or the guy seeing Nigel with his pants down taking a dump
During the war rodney…
Ooh here we go sat in classroom on Dcpc and the Stobart ■■■■■■■■ is starting to fly round.
Coffeeholic:
it goes a bit Costa Concordia.
Though its not exactly the Hearald of Free Enterprise, I wonder how long it will be before some claims that they missed this boat by minutes??
peirre:
Coffeeholic:
it goes a bit Costa Concordia.Though its not exactly the Hearald of Free Enterprise, I wonder how long it will be before some claims that they missed this boat by minutes??
See THIS THREAD. I only missed it by a minute or two.
Coffeeholic:
peirre:
Coffeeholic:
it goes a bit Costa Concordia.Though its not exactly the Hearald of Free Enterprise, I wonder how long it will be before some claims that they missed this boat by minutes??
See THIS THREAD. I only missed it by a minute or two.
i was on it, im the one who tried to save the captain by shoving him in the lifeboat.
hth
jessicas dad:
Coffeeholic:
peirre:
Coffeeholic:
it goes a bit Costa Concordia.Though its not exactly the Hearald of Free Enterprise, I wonder how long it will be before some claims that they missed this boat by minutes??
See THIS THREAD. I only missed it by a minute or two.
i was on it, im the one who tried to save the captain by shoving him in the lifeboat.
hth
I saw you, I could tell it was you because of your leg.
Coffeeholic:
jessicas dad:
Coffeeholic:
peirre:
Coffeeholic:
it goes a bit Costa Concordia.Though its not exactly the Hearald of Free Enterprise, I wonder how long it will be before some claims that they missed this boat by minutes??
See THIS THREAD. I only missed it by a minute or two.
i was on it, im the one who tried to save the captain by shoving him in the lifeboat.
hth
I saw you, I could tell it was you because of your leg.
did you notice i had my hi viz on in case of emergencys… and look it worked.
HTH