ShropsBri:
I would like to be in the saturdays…have you seen those girls■■?
Preaching to the choir brother. 
skids:
Had them, they were crap
That’s coz I ruined em for ya 
Coffeeholic:
ShropsBri:
I would like to be in the saturdays…have you seen those girls■■?Preaching to the choir brother.
I preach at no-one,I just show the way 
Coffeeholic:
ShropsBri:
I would like to be in the saturdays…have you seen those girls■■?Preaching to the choir brother.
I said to my mate the other day “i’d love to be casseroled by the Saturdays”
he said “ya dopey git you mean caressed?”
so I said “no casseroled done slowly for 4 hours” 
ShropsBri:
Coffeeholic:
ShropsBri:
I would like to be in the saturdays…have you seen those girls■■?Preaching to the choir brother.
I preach at no-one,I just show the way
Hallelujah!
Andydisco:
As we havent had any tall tales threads for at least a weekweve had a new chap start at our place on the hiabs and I ve got him with me on nights this week training so far ive had the " i was in the SAS " and the “ran out of time at tesco’s and old bill chalked round my wagon so i could get my 11 off” stories but last night was comedy gold and as a result I think ive got a new one for the list , as ive never heard this one before
he was running from Dumbarton with a load of scotch got lost in Glasgow and hit a low bridge totaled the trailer and because it was a bonded load a bloke from customs and excise turned up and made him count every bottle on the trailer then round up all the broken bottle necks but he was 20 bottles missing so he had to go to an off licence and replace them
Not heard that one very good keep em’ coming.
Andydisco:
As we havent had any tall tales threads for at least a week
don`t know about that 
I’ve got a tidy piece of tail, and she’s quite tall too, so does that count?
Andydisco:
As we havent had any tall tales threads for at least a weekweve had a new chap start at our place on the hiabs and I ve got him with me on nights this week training so far ive had the " i was in the SAS " and the “ran out of time at tesco’s and old bill chalked round my wagon so i could get my 11 off” stories but last night was comedy gold and as a result I think ive got a new one for the list , as ive never heard this one before
he was running from Dumbarton with a load of scotch got lost in Glasgow and hit a low bridge totaled the trailer and because it was a bonded load a bloke from customs and excise turned up and made him count every bottle on the trailer then round up all the broken bottle necks but he was 20 bottles missing so he had to go to an off licence and replace them
I find it unrealistic that anyone carrying a consignment of scotch would still have it by the time they REACHED Glasgow! 
Unfortunately my BS tolerance levels have gone down quite a lot, my eyes start to glaze over shortly before telling them to sit down and shut up like a naughty child.
I don’t get many new tall tales these days… 
unfortunatly the collect the top o the broken ones is true ,as i had the misfortune to drop a crate o spirits once when doing multi drop ,
,they needed the tops back to check the seal was intact … 
but for ffs only 20missing whats glasgow coming to these days…lol.
james
double post …more coffee needed.
Thats what happens when you drink too much…double vision
I once got the sack years ago because they put me with a compulsive liar . I warned the Manager it was only going to end one way, i also told “Jack the lad” to stop with the BS stories many times before the inevitable happened. He was in the SAS too funny enough and owned a time share 
in the Canary Islands (which was just off Portugal according to JTL )
4 weeks after i got the bump for a " violent act" on the new lad he got caught stealing roofing lead out of the yard by the foreman he then got lippy with said f/man who gave him a slap …JTL`s never been seen since
Andydisco:
As we havent had any tall tales threads for at least a week
he was running from Dumbarton with a load of scotch got lost in Glasgow and hit a low bridge totaled the trailer and because it was a bonded load a bloke from customs and excise turned up and made him count every bottle on the trailer then round up all the broken bottle necks but he was 20 bottles missing so he had to go to an off licence and replace them
Well next time he starts spouting his BS, ask him this simple question:
" Who’s the biggest ■■■■■■■■■ you for spouting more ■■■■■ than a farmyard, or me for sitting listening to it? "
Few years ago I did tautliner that’d fell over on, ironically, Scotch Corner roundabout. That was carrying 27 tons of Glenfiddich.
We spent a long time painstakingly seperating the broken from the good, restacking onto pallets and shrinkwrapping them, trying to salvage as much as possible for the carrier/insurer. But the insurance company couldn’t take the risk of an intact bottle having an internal chip/bits of loose glass in the bottle, so the next day put the whole lot in landfill.
Well, most of it
Was quite funny, as there were loads of Highways Agency and police cars turned up, over 20 at one point where there’d normally be 2-3. The HA and Police were snatching boxes of bottles, loading up their 4x4’s, when our gaffer shouted git loud " remember lads, this doesn’t belong to us, it belongs to the haulier, so if you help yourselves to any you’re stealing it and you’ll be sacked".
Coppers didn’t know what to do with themselves or their half loaded up cars
Santa:
I think I would be making my own stories up to top his - Like the time I killed two ■■■■■■ who were trying to steal my diesel and the cops turned a blind eye. Or how in the olden days you could get a free bj for giving a pro a lift to jack’s Hill (oops that’s true).
Absolute classic, boy my ribs are still hurting i was laughing so much, excellent, just excellent
You just cannot beat a good BS story …
JIMBO47:
unfortunatly the collect the top o the broken ones is true ,as i had the misfortune to drop a crate o spirits once when doing multi drop ,
,they needed the tops back to check the seal was intact …
His version isn’t true.
I used to work in pubs and then ran a pub many years ago and if during a delivery a bottle of spirits was broken, the box fell of the chute down into the cellar for instance, then the intact necks with the unbroken seal were taken back by the delivery men so the pub could get a credit note for the damage.
Same if I or anyone else who worked there dropped a bottle, the necks were kept so the stock taker could write the bottles off as ullage. That’s why we had clean stainless steel buckets, large filter papers and a hammer*. Hammer broke bottle below neck, filter paper kept glass out of bucket, bucket caught liquid for decanting into an empty, intact bottle so it could go on the optic. I can neither confirm or deny whether the stock taker called me butter fingers.
What we didn’t have to do, or the delivery guys, or you when you dropped the crate was go to the Off Licence and buy replacements.
*You may also witness members of staff on a ferry wandering about with the same equipment during particularly rough crossings when stuff is unfortunately ‘falling’ off the shelves in the duty free shop, or whatever they call those shops these days. They ain’t planning on squeezing into the bucket and paddling toward the shore with the hammer while using the filter papers as a sail if it all goes a bit Costa Concordia.
Can someone remind me of that story about a driver curling one out in his trailer, I am running low on BS stories and I can only remember parts of the ■■■ in a trailer one. I need the type of trailer, who was on the bus and where it happened. Cheers 
bubsy06:
Can someone remind me of that story about a driver curling one out in his trailer, I am running low on BS stories and I can only remember parts of the ■■■ in a trailer one. I need the type of trailer, who was on the bus and where it happened. Cheers
Bulk tipper.
Nuns, schoolgirls, Women’s Institute or pensioners.
Anywhere you like but busy city centres are usually preferred.
I hope this helps.
“A bit Costa Concordia”
Hahaha