cliffton 27:
the worst bit was was were allowed to sit in the cab so i was minding my own giving the cab a wipe and this guy came over and opened my door to talk
Someone does that to me they get a two word greeting, the second of which is off.
i must make a note of this to remember for next time thanks pal
Happy to help.
I follow up the two words with a full on bat crap crazy rant where every second or third word is a swear word, sometimes with a bit of foaming at the mouth thrown in for added effect, and they can’t get away quick enough and never bother you again.
I went for a quick pint and ■■■■,I just missed my once in a lifetime cruise on the Costa Concordia.Im not bitter as those things happen,I have read about them on here.
Which way does one dive to get the most respect out of “drivers tales”?
Is it “My best day was getting £19ph transporting max bygraves CD’s for recyling with danger money for the load”
or
“When I were lad, we used to lick 5th wheel clean wit’ toongue!”
“In January, we 'ad it toof!”
[zb]! - -That’s true, so apologies for posting in the the wrong forum again!
cliffton 27:
the worst bit was was were allowed to sit in the cab so i was minding my own giving the cab a wipe and this guy came over and opened my door to talk
Yeah I’ve had that, sat in the cab and some random opens the door to have a ‘chat’, and almost immediately started talking ■■■■■■■■.
I just interrupted him and said
“See that bloke there (pointing to a lad dropping a trailer on the other side of the yard)”?
“Yeah”
“Go and talk to him”.
The chap looked most bemused, said nothing else, closed my door and walked away.
Driver told me that Morrisons and Tesco have day cabs,as they could not wake sleeping drivers up in the lay bys,as they got too comfortable and it cost them money,wasting time in sleeper cabs,the managers could not awake them by phoning and sent out their mates to knock them up.
bubsy06:
Can someone remind me of that story about a driver curling one out in his trailer, I am running low on BS stories and I can only remember parts of the ■■■ in a trailer one. I need the type of trailer, who was on the bus and where it happened. Cheers
It makes an appearance on here quite regular, last time was about 3 months ago
bubsy06:
Can someone remind me of that story about a driver curling one out in his trailer, I am running low on BS stories and I can only remember parts of the ■■■ in a trailer one. I need the type of trailer, who was on the bus and where it happened. Cheers
It makes an appearance on here quite regular, last time was about 3 months ago
Happy to oblige. Incident about July 1965.
I had gone to London from Burnley on nights driving a Leyland Leapard for W.C Standerwick and had to come home passenger as the coach wasn’t needed to duplicate the return sevice. I decided to come straight home on days (and still claim my day out money in London) so I rode back with one of out drivers on the Gay Hostess Atlantean double decker. We were in a traffic queue on the A5 just south of Cannock and a little girl said to her mother “look at that man down there mummy” We were upstairs and I glanced down and one of Kendricks tipper drivers was sat on a pile of pig iron ingots, boiler suit round his knees and a big brown pile underneath him. The poor chap never looked up and we seemed to be stationary for ages. The little girls mother kept telling her to look at the big crane on the other side of the road but the girl kept looking at the driver. You may remember the big drag line working south side of the A5 near Cannock but the girl was more interested in the ■■■ man.
True story, related many times, sorry it was a rigid and not a trailer he was squat in.
wirralpete:
, he also told us about the top of the range caravan he and his wife would tour round europe in and in all fairness he did have a caravan club car sticker on his car…
a smart car…
with no towing eye!
Lot of motorhomers and those with caravans have the van or tow vehicle with another smaller car for other stuff. If he was a mptorhomer he could have towed the smart behind the van.
you may be right mate, i reckon he could afford a motorhome after his first stint with us. he walked into the office one day and the boss not hearing a truck coming into the yard asked him where it was. his reply… ‘dover its been impounded by customs!’ the only space he had in the cab was the driving area, the rest was stocked full of ciggies!
boss sacked him then took him back 2 years later, he done 2 months then complained to the boss he needed a bigger cab than the daf xf he had…
Few years ago I was shipping out on P&O from Dover to Calais, it was a busy crossing and the drivers restaurant was packed.
Youngish guy came up and sat at our table and started asking the usual " where you off to then anywhere nice?"
Then proceeded to tell us that he was tipping in Germany, Poland and Russia. Not so unusual back in the early '90s.
His comment about his backload had us al gobsmacked…He was catching a ferry from Archangelski in the far north of Russia to Canada for a backload .
he swore it was true even when the oldhand next to him informed him that as it was November he’d have a long wait for the ferry due to Archangelski being iced up till at least April
just remembered another one although this is just an out an out lie than a tall tail at my first driving job there was a geordie bloke who was known for his bs he tell people that he was late due to a pile up on the motorway even though 1 of the other drivers had followed him home and he didnt see a thing
however this was his best one night a few of us were all back at the same time and having a brew and a chat before we got going and in walks mr bs we say alright pal good day
his reply was no terrible
whats up we asked
saw a lad dead this morning in liverpool been knocked of his bike in a hit and run
what did you do we asked
just pit my hi viz over his face and carried on down the rd he actually belived the crap he came out with
Well would you adam and eve it, booty 4009,I have had secret papers to return to duty they recon Iran or switzerland or somone is going up big time,can you still fit up a torpedo tube, keep it to yourself.
i ve got my tall tale telling mate wagain this week
just heard quite possibly an even better tale than the whisky bottles
it goes something like this during the foot and mouth crisis he was taken out of the sas as he had a class 1 and was sent to drive for the most infamous fleet of tippers in the UK yes yuill and dodds and was regularly doing a 48hr shifts then having 11 hrs off and starting again as being a squaddie he was used to going for long periods without sleep
oh how I laughed when he came out and god only knows what im getting next
Andydisco:
i ve got my tall tale telling mate wagain this week
just heard quite possibly an even better tale than the whisky bottles
it goes something like this during the foot and mouth crisis he was taken out of the sas as he had a class 1 and was sent to drive for the most infamous fleet of tippers in the UK yes yuill and dodds and was regularly doing a 48hr shifts then having 11 hrs off and starting again as being a squaddie he was used to going for long periods without sleep
oh how I laughed when he came out and god only knows what im getting next
08457 90 90 90. That’s a number you may need before the week is out, it’s the Samaritans.
I was listening to a driver in the waiting room at Tescos the other day.
He said the he and a few pals went to Turin to steal a load of gold bullion from a security van. One of them was a hacker who fixed the traffic lights to cause a traffic jam.
While he did that the others blew just the back doors off the van and loaded the gold into three mini coopers. After a hair raising chase through Turin, including a circuit of the Fiat factory roof, the three minis escaped the Italian Police.
They later met up with the rest of the group who were driving a coach. With some degree of skill the mini drivers actually drove onto the coach as it was driving along (no wonder our hero decided to be a truck driver in his later career).
The group unloaded the gold and pushed the faithful minis out of the back of the bus as it climbed up a narrow switchback road in the Alps.
Just after they pushed out the last mini the bus driver made a mistake (no surprise there then) and the rear end of the coach skidded out over a cliff edge where it balanced precariously…
Just then, the booking clerk called my bay number so I had to go. If any of you trucknetters meets this guy please ask him what happened in the end?
You’ll easily recognise him, he said he was an ESL Franchisee.
