Great place this. Ive always had a penchant for idiots. My teacher told me I would never get anywhere cos im a ‘f…ing clown’.
He was right but I feel at home on here with my fellow performers. How come being a ■■■ goes hand in hand with being a HGV driver??
Anyway-enough of this historical drivel. Just booked my hols,im off to the big apple…
Core, lucky you, wish I was coming.
They will skin him alive
We are upto 4 pages now and we have the ‘circus’ to use!!!
Talk about the elephant in the room…
Fruit.
Ive heard the TC is also offering 7 days incarceration as an option instead of points and 10 days loss of licence.
Downside is you will be bummed within an inch of your life by the prisons 2 bear gays, ‘Golden’ and ‘Delicious’.
Sorry been racking my strudel all day and thats the best I can come up with.
I’ll get me goat…
My TM rang me on my mobile today whilst I was driving, without thinking I answered it. He said are you driving, I said don’t worry apple over
bigears:
My TM rang me on my mobile today whilst I was driving, without thinking I answered it. He said are you driving, I said don’t worry apple over
this thread’s turned abit “sour” now. 
I like sour mash 
apparently the appealing drink is very liked by the americans in the circus , who pipped us to the post.
Naturally, producing that liquid drink is their core business in some crabby backwards places.
Dipper_Dave:
Ive heard the TC is also offering 7 days incarceration as an option instead of points and 10 days loss of licence.
Downside is you will be bummed within an inch of your life by the prisons 2 bear gays, ‘Golden’ and ‘Delicious’.Sorry been racking my strudel all day and thats the best I can come up with.
I’ll get me goat…
I misread that as incineration.
in a somewhat parallel train of thought,then over in Donegal recently there was a local yokel up in court whos argument was that he was dyslexic and couldn’t make out the difference between arson and ■■■■■■…he was arrested for setting fire to his sister. 
eagerbeaver:
Sorry about your ear issues mate.At least it wasn’t your vision. You are still the apple of my eye…
FFS when I posted this there wasn’t any of the apple jokes so missed the whole sodding lot!
oh well that’s the way the apple crumbles I guess
Wow this thread has gone from some fella who uses his phone whilst driving to fruit based shenanigans.
Quite a topic shift even by TNUK standards.
How about them apples.
Oh strudles
Jeepers,need to get to a petrol station FAST. Low on juice…
Musn’t Crumble 
Good advice Tango,cheers.
Cant chat,gotta get to Bramley.
Dipper_Dave:
Ive heard the TC is also offering 7 days incarceration as an option instead of points and 10 days loss of licence.
…
I wouldn’t want an “ation” in my “arce” for 7 days 
eagerbeaver:
Good advice Tango,cheers.Cant chat,gotta get to Bramley.
Near Granny Smiths house
An ‘ation’ in my ‘arce’. I heard the worse type was a ’ Penetr '.