Wits end with daughter

dozy:
I’ve always had a great relationship with daughter( 24 yrs old) ,until the last 6 months or so ,she lives at home with us and she seems have turned from being a helpful nice girl to be a argumentative awkward,stroppy,lazy so-so ,I do everything for here ,pick her up 2/3 in morning from clubs ,take her everywhere ,sort her car out ,fuel,wash it ,get it serviced ,tidy her bedroom on my day off ,run myself ragged after her ,get no thanks ,she makes herself a cup of teaand doesn’t bother asking if I want one ,or make Me one ,I picked her up sat night at 3 a.m from club ,all she said was when did you finish work ,no happy Father’s Day card ,not even a happy Father’s Day .
I’m at my wits end with it , I just can’t see what’s changed ,as if she resents me ,I didn’t think I’d ever say it but told her too pack her bags and go the other night ( I didn’t mean it ) she just stood and smirked at me ,I just hit the bloody door .
The Mrs says its a stage she’s going through,but she’s 24 yrs old ,I’d never put here on the streets ,but I think it’s time I moved out and we both had some space .
Sorry for the rant .

You and your missis haven’t been doing her any favours. You’ve spoilt her and what you now have is the result. She treats you like a servant because that is basically what you are.

Stop doing anything for her at all. Do not take her anywhere, do not tidy her room, do not cook a meal, do not sort out her car, do not put fuel in it - if it runs out tell her she’ll have to walk to a petrol station or call the AA out if she has cover or pay for it if she doesn’t, do not get it serviced, do not pick her up from clubs, do not give her a single penny when she asks for money. The answer to the phone call at 3am is “get a taxi” and if the reply is “I’ve got no money” the response to that is that she should’ve thought of that and had better start walking. When she asks why the change you point out that you’re sorry you used to treat her like a child but realise that she’s 24 so you’re treating her as an adult.

If she did leave home she’d be like my son’s girlfriend, completely incapable of fending for herself, even making a meal. Fortunately for the pair of them he’d been expected to do a lot of stuff for himself from his mid-teens so by the time he left home at 19 he was perfectly capable of fending for himself. Good job too as it turns out. His girlfriend is a really nice girl but she’s had a father like you and is completely hopeless at most stuff.

alix776:

mrkazman:
Bit different between 6 and 24 though.

erm… ofcourse… but did you care to read the rest of my post before quoting?

Thanks all ,weve got on better of late , not perfect but better ,think itsca case I’ve made a rod for my own back of spoiling her rotten , I’ve tried to be a bit sterner with her but I do slip back in my ways ,lent her my car w/ end as she didn’t have much fuel ,so filled it up and cleaned and polished it ( I know :frowning: for her when she got back ,Mrs was off on holiday today ,so me and her blitzed her bedroom while she was at work ( :frowning: ) .
She qualifies as a nurse sept ,told Mrs she will be 25 then so time to move out ,but only down the road so mum and dad can pop round and tidy up on a night :open_mouth: ,m&s and me said we won’t be doing that ,but you just know we will .
who said it gets easier as they get older :exclamation: .
N.b if you

Sucker

Seen in a Security Cabin of a DC

“No one notices what i do till i dont do it anymore”

Go 2 Weeks on Holiday in a Time you know see needs you to drive her around. :exclamation:

dozy:
Thanks all ,weve got on better of late , not perfect but better ,think itsca case I’ve made a rod for my own back of spoiling her rotten , I’ve tried to be a bit sterner with her but I do slip back in my ways ,lent her my car w/ end as she didn’t have much fuel ,so filled it up and cleaned and polished it ( I know :frowning: for her when she got back ,Mrs was off on holiday today ,so me and her blitzed her bedroom while she was at work ( :frowning: ) .
She qualifies as a nurse sept ,told Mrs she will be 25 then so time to move out ,but only down the road so mum and dad can pop round and tidy up on a night :open_mouth: ,m&s and me said we won’t be doing that ,but you just know we will .
who said it gets easier as they get older :exclamation: .
N.b if you

you sound like a really nice guy but you haven’t taken in anything thats been written by people trying to help you nothing will change because you wont let it change you must like being bitten on the arse time and time again , from the age 0 to18 you have a responsibility to do your best for your chidren ,from 18yrs old they then become a lodger in your home and if they dont comply with your house rules out they go