Fifty shades of grey

[grumpy_old_man]

The missus bought a paperback,
Down Shepton Mallet way,
I had a look inside her bag;
T’was “Fifty Shades of Grey”.
Well I just left her to it,
And at ten I went to bed.
An hour later she appeared;
The sight filled me with dread…

In her left she held a rope;
And in her right a whip!
She threw them down upon the floor,
And then began to strip.
Well fifty years or so ago;
I might have had a peek;
But Mabel hasn’t weathered well;
She’s eighty four next week!!

Watching Mabel bump and grind;
Could not have been much grimmer.
And things then went from bad to worse;
She toppled off her Zimmer!
She struggled back upon her feet;
A couple minutes later;
She put her teeth back in and said
I am a dominator!!

Now if you knew our Mabel,
You’d see just why I spluttered,
I’d spent two months in traction
For the last complaint I’d uttered.
She stood there ■■■■ and naked
Bent forward just a bit
I went to hold her, sensual like
And stood on her left ■■■!

Mabel screamed, her teeth shot out;
My God what had I done!?
She moaned and groaned then shouted out:
“Step on the other one”!!
Well readers, I can tell no more;
Of what occurred that day.
Suffice to say my jet black hair,
Turned fifty shades of grey.

[erf-ngc-european]

I read your verses with dismay and noticed that your Doris
Was into all her fantasies but never mentioned lorries!
A chap like you who’s driven through Kiddlington and Karnak
Should concentrate on showing your mate
‘Fifty Shades of Tarmac’!
This forum ain’t the place at all for this slight indecorum:
The place for it as you well know, is Bully’s Truckstop Forum!

Robert

[ramone]

grumpy old man:
:shock:
The missus bought a paperback,
Down Shepton Mallet way,
I had a look inside her bag;
T’was “Fifty Shades of Grey”.
Well I just left her to it,
And at ten I went to bed.
An hour later she appeared;
The sight filled me with dread…

In her left she held a rope;
And in her right a whip!
She threw them down upon the floor,
And then began to strip.
Well fifty years or so ago;
I might have had a peek;
But Mabel hasn’t weathered well;
She’s eighty four next week!!

Watching Mabel bump and grind;
Could not have been much grimmer.
And things then went from bad to worse;
She toppled off her Zimmer!
She struggled back upon her feet;
A couple minutes later;
She put her teeth back in and said
I am a dominator!!

Now if you knew our Mabel,
You’d see just why I spluttered,
I’d spent two months in traction
For the last complaint I’d uttered.
She stood there ■■■■ and naked
Bent forward just a bit
I went to hold her, sensual like
And stood on her left ■■■!

Mabel screamed, her teeth shot out;
My God what had I done!?
She moaned and groaned then shouted out:
“Step on the other one”!!
Well readers, I can tell no more;
Of what occurred that day.
Suffice to say my jet black hair,
Turned fifty shades of grey.

Ha ha

[mat79]

[emoji1787][emoji1787][emoji1787][emoji106]

Sent from my SM-A320FL using Tapatalk

[buzzer]

Since its silly rhyme time here is one from Monty Python I think which I can remember and do repeat it to the grandkids and usually more than once as they like it, Buzzer.

Alternate lines Mrs and Mr if you get the drift.

Look at the time, its quarter past six and I got a big bowl of custard to mix,
done the dinner, done the beds here’s my husband hello Fred.

Hello my darling your looking well, is that my dinner I can smell.

Here’s your paper, here’s your slippers

What’s for tea

Were having Kippers,

Bin out shopping,

Supermarket,

Take the car,

Nah cant park it,

Where’s are Albert he’s rather late,

Bah he’s upstairs he’s got a date

Stayed out last night to half past eleven,

Oh leave him alone, he’s fifty seven.

[retired_old_fart]

That’s brilliant, GOM. Nearly fell off my walking stick laughing!

[zb_anorak]

Very good indeed.

Permission to pass it on to a mate?

[grumpy_old_man]

Of course.