Att’s post summed it up perfectly mate. It’s all about coping mechanisms and there isn’t a one size fits all solution. I was a soldier in the early 80’s and as one of “Maggies private army” saw lots of ■■■■. I’ve not lost a moments sleep as I rationalised it as “better them than me” which may sound harsh but is the simple truth.
I do however wish you all the best for the future.