Malky80:
Seen this and thought you should have a read Williams9881. It was written by an American woman called Carolyn, but might let you see how utterly selfish your attitude towards the cost of bringing YOUR child up is. Maybe once you read it, you’ll put as much or more effort into seeing your wee boy as you are in trying to avoid paying for him. I’m not simply trying to bash you for your attitude mate, I’m just trying to get you to see the negative consequences of your actions and do something about it. Pay for him and try to see him, not because you want to ■■■■ your ex off for making you pay your way, but because that wee boy needs his Daddy.
Dear men who complain about paying child support because she’s taking “your” money & spending it on “herself”:
Ask yourselves this: other than paying child support, what else are you doing for your kid?
How many times have you taken your kid to school and picked him up? Talked to his teachers about how he’s doing, socially & academically? How much homework do you help with? Do you know the names of his best friend, his best friends’ parents, the little girl he has a crush on, the kid he hates? How many playdates do you supervise every week? How many school trips have you chaperoned?
How many nights have you rushed home from work, exhausted, and then had to get dinner on for him? Where are you when he is asking a million questions while you’re trying to get him off to bed so you can take care of your own responsibilities, like paying the bills, or doing some laundry? How many nights has your child gotten out of his bed and crawled into yours because he was having nightmares and couldn’t sleep?
How many doctors’ appointments have you taken him to? How many times have you left your job because he suddenly spiked a fever at school, or had an asthma attack and forgot his inhaler? How many nights have you spent with him in the pediatric ER because he fell, or started throwing up, or just didn’t look right and your instincts said, get him to a doctor right away?
Any system can be abused. Just as not all dads are deadbeats, some mothers are selfish and spend every dime that comes their way on themselves – whether on their appearance, their new man, or their drug habit. If that describes your situation, your child is in danger and you owe it to your child to alert the authorities. If you’re in a position to provide better care, you owe it to your child to seek custody.
The abusers exist, but they are not representative of most women who receive child support. I cringe when I hear comments like, “I pay for my kid and every time I see her, her hair and nails are tight.” If she works or has another source of income, what makes you think she’s spending “your” child support money on her hair and nails? Is she not supposed to be groomed? Would you prefer to see her with chipped nails and a raggedy weave, just so you know she’s not spending a dime of that support check on herself?
Courts split responsibility for taking care of the child’s financial needs between the parents according to income, per a predefined formula. In cases where the child’s father makes more than the mother, courts will expect him to carry the lion’s share of the financial burden. When she makes more money she bears most of the burden. And yet, even in those cases, men still complain about paying the tiny portion the court deems to be their fair share. They’ll say, “she makes enough to take care of the kids. She don’t need my money.” To the selfish [zb] who think like that, I say – grow up.
A lot of men resent the fact that child support goes towards expenses like rent and utilities, as if a child doesn’t also need a safe, warm place to live. If a mother is spending $500 per month to take care of your child, and you contribute $200, that means she contributed $300. If she happens to also spend $200 on her hair, that does not necessarily mean she’s spending “your” $200 on her hair. It may mean that, thanks to your contribution, she has some income left over to treat herself to hair appointments. So? Who’s clocking what you do with the rest of your money that isn’t going towards child support? Oh. Once you pay child support, it’s not your money anymore. Let it go."
The OP, won’t know this because she is refusing access to the kid. End of the day … if u really wanted access to your child you would of gone to court long before …, sorry I have no sympathy at all …
I’ve had to bury my brother and ex brother in law, because of said shameless, scally, snake with ■■■■! 