I split with my then girlfriend back in 2010, the day we split she stopped all access. I haven’t seen my boy since then not even in the street! I messaged her time and time again saying give me access and I will willingly pay you what you want. I have paid on and off over the last couple of years where I’ve had permanent work it came out of my wages automatically to sum of around 4-5k. I’ve been trying to get her to pull the claim as my arrears stand at about £7000 with another 3-4k to go on as I earned £28k last year. I’m not deadbeat I’m just not willing to pay to be dad without playing dad! The csa pull numbers out of there arse and now charge 15% to the person paying and the receiver 4% the reason for that is to force parents to come to some arrangement, well wouldn’t it make more sense to bill the receiver and not the person paying?!! The first letter I got from these mobsters was to say I owed £2000 I had just come out the army and laughed at it and pushed it to one side not realising wage on wage it would be going up.
Anyway one thing that makes me sick to the stomach is the thought that they can take your license. Now if your a plumber or elecy man and they send the bailiffs they wouldn’t be allowed to touch your tools for your chosen trade. So my question do you think they would be able to take your HGV? I don’t know what I’d do if they did but lets just say I’d go down for murder shes wrecked my life enough and its still happening 8 years on I left the army for this ho and everything who would of thought there was a time I loved her LOL. Thanks for any replies your all welcome to your opinion on me not paying but I stand my ground on why I don’t. 1 Day I’m going to have to get on with it but for the next couple of years I would like to avoid the csa like the plague I’m currently self employed and have 2 other mouths to feed without giving these £400-£800 a month.
The CSA dont care about you they just want the money from you.Even if your living in hardship they wont care if your were made homeless.But if you have dependent children living with you they have to take them in to account with the amount they take from you each week.
Hiya mate don’t let the ■■■■■■■■ grind you down.i had the same problem about 5 years ago they wanted £120pw so I went part time 25 hours a week got reassessed £47 pw happy days every time they tried to get more I just went part time for 4 weeks to get assessed.nowt they can do.Once your assessment is done they won’t bother you unless your ex tells them you on more hours.apart from that if I wasn’t allowed to see my kids I wouldn’t pay a penny then go to court and let the judge decide.there isn’t a court inthe land that will take your livelihood away with a family to keep.its the csa scaremongering.
If any bailiffs come round don’t let them in it is a civil matter not a criminal offence so don’t let them in they have no right to force entry.
I hope any of that helps keep strong bud
They tried that rubbish with me about taking my driving license away, I just asked them if they knew what I did for a living when they replied yes a HGV driver I replied how on earth did they then think I could pay if they removed my license.
The next one they tried was removal of my passport told them they couldn’t do it to be told they had delegated powers from sec of state, my reply was he has no right as it’s not a British passport ha ha.
The final one was threatening e with jail I asked how were they going to get anything from me whilst in jail, and who is going to give me a job to drive after jail with a conviction. They will keep coming at you regardless but some of their threats are just hot air. If you’re truly self employed they can only take what your accountant allows them to take after GOOD accounting.
I find it quite sad that every comment as I type this seem to be advocating not paying. No doubt the posters prattle on about caring for their kids yet being quite happy to deny them what is actually a paltry amount of money given that the lower amount can be as low as just £5 per week.
Williams9881:
I’m not deadbeat I’m just not willing to pay to be dad without playing dad!
But you seem quite content to know that your kid is being brought up with a lower standard of living because you’re not paying your share. The money that you pay doesn’t magically get replaced by someone else, they don’t get it plain and simple. So that can mean missing out on clothes, not getting stuff that other kids get, not being able to go do things like go on school trips etc depending on the state of finances of the mother.
You are punishing your child because of the actions of your ex. Your child doesn’t deserve that and if you truly gave a ■■■■ about them you’d pay it regardless of whether or not you had access. One thing that is guaranteed to happen though is that when they’re 18 and you’re wanting to see them, assuming they want anything to do with you at all because as far as they’re concerned you were a deadbeat, you’re going to have to find a way of explaining to them why you spent all those years making their childhood worse.
Williams9881:
I’m not deadbeat I’m just not willing to pay to be dad without playing dad!
But you seem quite content to know that your kid is being brought up with a lower standard of living because you’re not paying your share. The money that you pay doesn’t magically get replaced by someone else, they don’t get it plain and simple. So that can mean missing out on clothes, not getting stuff that other kids get, not being able to go do things like go on school trips etc depending on the state of finances of the mother.
You are punishing your child because of the actions of your ex. Your child doesn’t deserve that and if you truly gave a [zb] about them you’d pay it regardless of whether or not you had access. One thing that is guaranteed to happen though is that when they’re 18 and you’re wanting to see them, assuming they want anything to do with you at all because as far as they’re concerned you were a deadbeat, you’re going to have to find a way of explaining to them why you spent all those years making their childhood worse.
Im in a council flat wearing the same grundys I bought 5 years ago, shes got an audi a6 estate. Solar panels on the roof and her fellas got an a7 she doesn’t need my money. Its not about the money anyway its the fact she doesnt return messages and has relocated 4 times to avoid me knocking the door. Your entitled to your opinion on it as I said, Im everything but deadbeat. Like I said shes not entitled to my money if im not entitled to see him .
Thanks everyone for the replies I feel a little better. I know theres no getting away from these ■■■■■ but I want to ■■■■ them about as much as I can. Im hoping putin sends his conscripts over our way one day because the first thing im doing is going straight to her house to purge.
There is NO connection between paying and seeing your child.
Sounds like she doesn’t want to play ball, take her to court and get a court order saying when you can see the child.
When she goes back, get it enforced by the court and they will put her inside if/when she goes against it. Believe me, I know it happens.
Just because she’s driving round in a better car and has a better house means she has those things WITHOUT your money, just think what the child could have IF you manned up and paid what you should?
Lol ok so this thread is turning sour… Im not bothered about what shes got Im just putting across that she doesn’t need my money… Im not paying for the upbringing of a child without access its as simple as that . £400 a month for a kid i havent seen in 8 years NA.
why don’t you just show intent by opening a bank account and paying what you think is reasonable for your kids wellbeing.use someone elses name so they cant swipe it,and let them have it once their old enough and can make their own mind up whether their going to be in your life or otherwise.that might be a happy medium.then just do what you need to do to stop the csa bleeding you dry.
taking your licence would be almost the last chance.
It’s payment for your kid not for her. As it’s been said pay what you owe your kid and apply to the court for access.
Oh i forgot to mention she had another kid with someone after me, they split up he has no access she took him straight to the csa too… Then her new fella shes just had a kid with him aswell . So 3 kids 3 dads and 2 with no access and its the blokes who go prison for not paying? Shes the one who deserves getting locked up . But anyway I don’t wanna get to much into it the situation annoys me all I wanted to know is about my license thanks everyone.
No shes not on benefits, shes working and her fellas minted. I am going to have to pay eventually but on my terms not theres. Like I said Ive paid 5k with no access upto now but Im arguing my corner for the fact she doesnt want him to have anything to do with me period. Ive not caught eyes with him since he was 9 months old hes 8 this year. The courts are just more money with no guaranteed outcome at the end. Ill get hold of them and sort something but im giving what im willing to pay not what there willing to rob from me.
i know a driver that evaded paying until all three of his children had left school, moving jobs and addresses, self employed etc the money owed followed him and where we were working together was good money, and he thought he could now get it quashed, oh no he still owed and they put a thing on his wages and he had to start to pay, what ever brought the separations about was no fault of the children, and whether the subsequent men were minted, is of no relevance, whilst you don’t pay for your child every one else does, don’t get me wrong my first wife and I parted and I had all the problems of access, all the (your father does not want you, and the you cant let your new woman see them, when she was onto no 3 and she had the first affair anyway, and the new men thinking they ruled the house,) but I paid my share, straightened out the boy friends, and now they are grown up they know what happened, my new wife and I are the ones they visit, who get asked over for meals, Christmas, holidays etc, yes I missed a lot of time and all the things you should do and see, but its all good now.
The csa has changed there name I have just finished with them cost me £90 a week I had to clear a debt of £7000
If you are making payments to this new outfit same people just renamed you have to pay 20% on each payment so if you are paying £50 a week you will have to pay £60 and that goes for x aswell she has to give up 10% so I a nice little earner for someone
Conor:
I find it quite sad that every comment as I type this seem to be advocating not paying. No doubt the posters prattle on about caring for their kids yet being quite happy to deny them what is actually a paltry amount of money given that the lower amount can be as low as just £5 per week.
Williams9881:
I’m not deadbeat I’m just not willing to pay to be dad without playing dad!
But you seem quite content to know that your kid is being brought up with a lower standard of living because you’re not paying your share. The money that you pay doesn’t magically get replaced by someone else, they don’t get it plain and simple. So that can mean missing out on clothes, not getting stuff that other kids get, not being able to go do things like go on school trips etc depending on the state of finances of the mother.
You are punishing your child because of the actions of your ex. Your child doesn’t deserve that and if you truly gave a [zb] about them you’d pay it regardless of whether or not you had access. One thing that is guaranteed to happen though is that when they’re 18 and you’re wanting to see them, assuming they want anything to do with you at all because as far as they’re concerned you were a deadbeat, you’re going to have to find a way of explaining to them why you spent all those years making their childhood worse.
From what i have read about the CSA , the majority of the money fathers pay does not go to the beetch and kidz it goes into the state coffers, the beetch gets benefits for said kidz , if a father wants to make sure their kidz are well looked after then they should pay directly and not via the farce that is the CSA , very little of what they are paid by fathers goes to the ex beetch and their kidz, and now they have the brassed neck to charge interest too,lol
They cannot take away your HGV entitlement they cannot force entry into your home , (peaceful entry ie invited in by you, or through an unlocked or open door/window) only if they are certified bailiffs, if they are a DCA then they have even less authority and they certainly cannot put you in prison or somehow take away your British passport , only a court can do that , and as this isnt a criminal matter the county court have no such powers
not much use to the OP now…but for anyone else about to go through a break-up,avoid involving the CSA (or whatever they are called now) and sort the financial agreement out with your ex. the CSA don’t have to be involved.
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