lizard:
she is the prime od her life at the ripe old age of 32 and im over the hill at 42. the worst thing is I had the snip done for her.
Over the hill at 42? My God thanks so much for making me feel great (not) as a very reluctant bachelor at 54
Little hope now … in this country.
lizard I do sympathize with your situation. I’ve had my heart broken more than once before.
(many years ago)
However, us here cannot know know if your username connects with your character.
P.S. The snip is (usually) reversible, though not 100% successfully.
I think there’s two totally different issues going on such as in the case which Harry and Lizard are describing compared to the case of being left on the shelf at 54 which is a fate which we seem to share.
Ironically Lizard might not realise it but he’d probably have more chance of pulling another girl who,if he’s got any sense,will be a lot younger than 32,which certainly isn’t the prime of a woman’s life.
Whereas the longer a bachelor stays single the less chance there is because of the ( in the women’s eyes ) ‘creep’ factor and the usual issues which women have concerning the fact that they often see someone who’s married/seperated/divorced as a better catch than someone who’s been left on the shelf.
As for the heartbreak of a failed relationship.I think losing out from day 1 and then things just getting worse from that time on,because of that issue and having to watch my mother tell my dying dad that she wished that he could have had some grandchildren is what I call heartbreak.But as I’ve said elsewhere being young in the 1970’s was often a problem being that a lot more girls back then were looking for ( often much ) older blokes not ones of around their own age whereas now the situation is reversed with the situation whereby an older bloke is with a much younger woman being seen as socially unnacceptable.
While the few exceptions that prove the rule still,as always,show that someone who’s married/seperated/divorced has more chance than bachelors do regardless of age.
the reason married/divorced/seperated men have more success with women, than the ones who were left on the shelf,is probably down to the fact that they had something going for them in the first place…
commonrail:
the reason married/divorced/seperated men have more success with women, than the ones who were left on the shelf,is probably down to the fact that they had something going for them in the first place…
How does a woman know if someone has something going for them or not if they won’t even accept the offer of a date to find out.Although if it’s all about the women knowing best then it’s obvious that the same criterea would apply in all cases including those involving all failed relationships.Which doesn’t seem consistent with the fact that in many cases the ex husband suddenly has nothing going for him in the eyes of the ex wife but he has in the eyes of the new woman on the scene.
lizard:
she is the prime od her life at the ripe old age of 32 and im over the hill at 42. the worst thing is I had the snip done for her.
Over the hill at 42? My God thanks so much for making me feel great (not) as a very reluctant bachelor at 54
Little hope now … in this country.
lizard I do sympathize with your situation. I’ve had my heart broken more than once before.
(many years ago)
However, us here cannot know know if your username connects with your character.
P.S. The snip is (usually) reversible, though not 100% successfully.
my user name is lizard because I have a long tongue hence the name.
I really don’t think Curryfast’s problems can be based on some kind of Zeitgeist, I’ll be 54 this year, have had my fair share of very attractive girlfriends, and have one now.
Possibly the offer of a cup of tea at the greasy spoon and a chat about double-drive tractor units isn’t quite what a woman looks for in a date.
well its definitely over. im currently holed up in the truck and smashing me way around the interior trying to over come the frustration and anger that im feeling from the breakdown of what I thought was a perfect marriage.
I very much know that I wont be going back as she showed no emotion what so ever as I walked out the door last night.
I still love her and I will do for a very long time. she was a massive part of my life for 13 years and we have 4 wonderful children and the hardest part was saying good bye to them last night.
fingers crossed I should have the keys mid to late week for a place ive rented.
I would like to thank you all for your words and support through a difficult time for me and I hope these words spread to the next poor sole that goes through what im feeling and what everyone else has that its happened to in the past.
we can only try and pick our selfs up and soldier on until we feel better within ourselfs to try and date again.
thanks again people and try and dont let it happen to you if possible.
Carryfast:
Whereas the longer a bachelor stays single the less chance there is because of the ( in the women’s eyes ) ‘creep’ factor and the usual issues which women have concerning the fact that they often see someone who’s married/seperated/divorced as a better catch than someone who’s been left on the shelf.
Not necessarily. Some women think that if someone has a failed relationship behind them, then maybe they are not partner material. They are also more likely to come with baggage/s if they have been in a relationship. Whereas a man who hasn’t felt the need to be with someone for the sake of it or because they don’t want to be alone, or because ‘everyone else is doing it’ could seem a far more attractive proposition. Maybe he is just perfectly at ease with himself and will settle down when he’s good and ready. There’s nothing like a challenge to sharpen your attention.
Carryfast:
being young in the 1970’s was often a problem being that a lot more girls back then were looking for ( often much ) older blokes not ones of around their own age whereas now the situation is reversed with the situation whereby an older bloke is with a much younger woman being seen as socially unnacceptable.
I think that this may be a result of more women being financially independent these days. It used to be the case that an older man may be more able to provide. It also makes more sense for a woman to be with a slightly younger man to improve the chances of him being around for more of the relationship - seeing as men generally die younger
Harry Monk:
I really don’t think Curryfast’s problems can be based on some kind of Zeitgeist, I’ll be 54 this year, have had my fair share of very attractive girlfriends, and have one now.
Possibly the offer of a cup of tea at the greasy spoon and a chat about double-drive tractor units isn’t quite what a woman looks for in a date.
It’s not about quantity Harry it’s quality that matters and quality means just one for life.But if you’re right that would probably mean that Australia’s population would have been a lot less over the years.Unluckily for me I wasn’t born in Oz though.
lizard:
well its definitely over. im currently holed up in the truck and smashing me way around the interior trying to over come the frustration and anger that im feeling from the breakdown of what I thought was a perfect marriage.
I very much know that I wont be going back as she showed no emotion what so ever as I walked out the door last night.
I still love her and I will do for a very long time. she was a massive part of my life for 13 years and we have 4 wonderful children and the hardest part was saying good bye to them last night.
fingers crossed I should have the keys mid to late week for a place ive rented.
I would like to thank you all for your words and support through a difficult time for me and I hope these words spread to the next poor sole that goes through what im feeling and what everyone else has that its happened to in the past.
we can only try and pick our selfs up and soldier on until we feel better within ourselfs to try and date again.
thanks again people and try and dont let it happen to you if possible.
I really feel for you mate…I wish you all the best for the future…
right then chaps.
I cant sit here in self pity any longer so im going to get productive.
ive been out for a meal and a drink this evening with the ex wife and ive told her that ive now rented a place for 12 months and told her that in that 12 months im going to do my upmost to get her back.
so ive given her a date of 14 feb 2014 and if we aint back together I will stop chasing her.
I want her back and im going to get her back.
watch this space!
When I first started tramping I spoke to my wife and we agreed that the very first time she feels uneasy or unhappy with the “out all week” to tell me and I’ll quit in a heartbeat. Still ask and check she is ok with it every so often.
We both agree that Sunday nights (I commute 140 miles each way, so leave Sunday night) are horrible though but we are ok by Monday pm.
Am I alone in thinking that Tramping IS a married persons domain, and not a place for singletons?
To me being a tramper is about stability, in life and at work, and having things in place at home, bills get paid, food is on the table, jobs around the house can be taken care of while your away, kids are taken care of etc etc.
However the majority of singletons in this job (young & old) I know prefer to be able to utilise their free time elsewhere away from work, indulging in hobbies and activities, and not be stuck in a box 5+ days a week.
GrumpyBum`s post struck a chord
grumpybum:
Some women think that if someone has a failed relationship behind them, then maybe they are not partner material. They are also more likely to come with baggage/s if they have been in a relationship. Whereas a man who hasn’t felt the need to be with someone for the sake of it or because they don’t want to be alone, or because ‘everyone else is doing it’ could seem a far more attractive proposition. Maybe he is just perfectly at ease with himself and will settle down when he’s good and ready. There’s nothing like a challenge to sharpen your attention.
+1
A mate of mine keeps asking me “why arnt you married and be as miserable as me" My reply is as always "I happy with life, I enjoy what I do, Im able to do what I do, when I want to & but enjoy the companionship of members of the opposite ■■■ as it suits both parties”
Being married isnt the be all and end all, people both male & female can be quite content being single, seeing those around me who ARE married Im glad I have the lifestyle I have.
Sometime oppotunities to meet someone special come along at the right time, sometime external factors crop up, & the timing ■■■■■ & thing dont work out. Many years ago a guy I was an apprentice to told me, that when your in your teens & twenties, your willing to massively compromise to make a relationship work, because your building a home for you both & are probably skint. In your thirties, your willing to compromise less because your wiser, more financially stable and things are falling into place. But the older you get the more your less willing to compromise, you have things in your life the way YOU want it, your favourite chair at home is in the right spot, the coffee table is just so placed so you can have your coffee mug in the right spot to suit you etc etc. So when someone in their 30s, 40s 50s etc becomes single and available after a previos relationship, trying to fit a new partner into their life can be difficult, as its unlikely your willing to compromise your lifestyle to fit them in, as they may upset the the stability at home its took many years to establish, & thats before the other associated “baggage” from past relationships of brought into the equation
Driveroneuk:
Good man, that’s the spirit. Stay positive.
thanks mate.
if I dont stay positive then I will definitely lose her for good.
im having a good stab at getting her back and ive begun by renting a flat out so shes got some space and im off to the quacks on friday to have a chat about my anger (which is road rage) and my anxiety that ive never told anyone about. ive also thought about something else that I want to do, to prove to her that I can change but im keeping it under me belt until ive got somewhere with it.
im still having 1or 2 low points through out the days but ive started to eat and sleep again.
thanks again everyone.
Look after number 1! Life’s too short gotta do what you want and what makes you happy otherwise you may regret it. If other people cant understand that then their not really worth the time. Thats how i look at it and prob why im single but i can do what i like when i like with no hassel
Driveroneuk:
Good man, that’s the spirit. Stay positive.
thanks mate.
if I dont stay positive then I will definitely lose her for good.
im having a good stab at getting her back and ive begun by renting a flat out so shes got some space and im off to the quacks on friday to have a chat about my anger (which is road rage) and my anxiety that ive never told anyone about. ive also thought about something else that I want to do, to prove to her that I can change but im keeping it under me belt until ive got somewhere with it.
im still having 1or 2 low points through out the days but ive started to eat and sleep again.
thanks again everyone.
stay very positive, PLEASE don’t hit the bottle! I hope you make it pal
PLEASE don’t hit the bottle! 
I hope you make it pal