Norfolkinclue1:
Round my way for a while we had one at a nearby Indian restaurant, he was called Patelvis, apparently very good too and well known to the local venues…All I can come up with for a pun is “Love me Tandoori” or “Jailhouse Roti”…sorry, I’ll get me coat.
Guitar nan ?
robroy:
Norfolkinclue1:
Round my way for a while we had one at a nearby Indian restaurant, he was called Patelvis, apparently very good too and well known to the local venues…All I can come up with for a pun is “Love me Tandoori” or “Jailhouse Roti”…sorry, I’ll get me coat.
Guitar nan ?
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
did he not do one as a duo with boy george called…korma korma korma korma korma chameleon?
robroy:
Tubbysboy:
Best one I’ve heard was one from a Manchester bloke. We were both tipping in Haniels Zona franca. Over he walked and started talking, anyway, ended up in a restaurant for a meal. He then said with a straight face, I do this job part time, as normally I’m an Elvis impersonator on ferries and holiday camps.How I didn’t ■■■■ myself I don’t know. Naturally he then regaled the bar with a northern rendition of love me tender. Utter rubbish hahahahahaha. Still laughing nearly 25 years later…
Wasn’t this bloke was it?
youtu.be/pihuLHT7-TI
Many years ago when I worked for Stobart ('90-'96), there was a wagon & drag driver that also did a great impression of Elvis. He also won many competitions for having the most Elvis Tattoos.
Not sure if this is the same guy that’s in the video, as he’d be in his mid '60s by now.
EDIT. I’ve just checked some other videos of the singing Stobbie, and no it’s not him.
robroy:
Norfolkinclue1:
Round my way for a while we had one at a nearby Indian restaurant, he was called Patelvis, apparently very good too and well known to the local venues…All I can come up with for a pun is “Love me Tandoori” or “Jailhouse Roti”…sorry, I’ll get me coat.
Guitar nan ?
Love me tandoori…
My Mate/Brother/Dad/Uncle/Grandad got gassed.
I remember him. He used to run out of Burton on Trent about 20-25 years ago
Geoffo:
Many years ago when I worked for Stobart ('90-'96), there was a wagon & drag driver that also did a great impression of Elvis. He also won many competitions for having the most Elvis Tattoos.Not sure if this is the same guy that’s in the video, as he’d be in his mid '60s by now.
EDIT. I’ve just checked some other videos of the singing Stobbie, and no it’s not him.
Sent from my HTC One A9 using Tapatalk
A younger slimmer Elvis was performing in Skegness last year, outside the pub back a street from the clock tower.
Very good too.
Harry Monk:
I was once sat talking to a driver who told me about all the trips he had done to Russia. At this point I had been there numerous times myself but could see some mileage in this bloke so I didn’t let on. He started telling me about what it was like crossing the border from Germany into Russia and I thought “Er, what happened to Poland and Belarus?”
When I worked on the roadshows in Britain and Europe we had a geezer who constantly bragged about how much European work he had done, I will be honest, at the time the only driving I had done outside the UK was in Jersey and Ireland in a car, so I was enthralled by his tales and expertise. One day when I had been working there for a few months and was at a show in Kent the boss phoned and asked if I had a passport ? I told him yes and the next thing I knew I was collecting a trailer from the yard and heading to Senelager in Germany for the Rhine Army show. The boss told me that when he approached the “EXPERT” he went totally white and started to stutter and come up with every excuse he could think of to not leave the UK or get on a ship, later in the year his best mate told us he had never even been to the IOW LOL.
I was happy I took his place because I was sent along with teams to future continental jobs.
I lost every bit of respect for the ■■■■■■ after that.
I was once sitting in a very crowded BP truckstop outside Wolverhampton one Wednesday night when some very nice Irish bloke asked if he could sit at my table because every other one was occupied, he placed a back pack under my table and we got chatting, he told me he was trying to get a lift to Stranrear and the ship to Belfast because he was heading to Dublin, I said “Why don’t you try getting to Holyhead and then to Dublin as it’s much quicker ?”
“I’ll let you into a secret” he said. “I’m wanted by the law and if I go that way I’ll be caught, I killed a ■■■■■■’ policeman in Yorkshire”
I was stunned and speechless, then he grinned and said “I’m only having yer on yer idjit” and started laughing. I was relieved but all the same after he left I did look under the table to make sure he took the back pack. The following Saturday his face was on the front page of every news paper in the UK, he was wanted for terrorism and the murder of a cop. 
Not all of these people with tall tales are lying
I went to the police and told then about what happened and I said he seemed such a nice bloke. “Well he’s not going to sit down and tell you he’s a murder is he ?”
“Yes, in actual fact he did” I replied
Here’s a rdc story for the future, I was driving that lorry that stopped,
msn.com/en-gb/news/world/i- … spartanntp
Pat Hasler:
I was once sitting in a very crowded BP truckstop outside Wolverhampton one Wednesday night when some very nice Irish bloke asked if he could sit at my table because every other one was occupied, he placed a back pack under my table and we got chatting, he told me he was trying to get a lift to Stranrear and the ship to Belfast because he was heading to Dublin, I said “Why don’t you try getting to Holyhead and then to Dublin as it’s much quicker ?”
“I’ll let you into a secret” he said. “I’m wanted by the law and if I go that way I’ll be caught, I killed a [zb]’ policeman in Yorkshire”
I was stunned and speechless, then he grinned and said “I’m only having yer on yer idjit” and started laughing. I was relieved but all the same after he left I did look under the table to make sure he took the back pack. The following Saturday his face
Not all of these people with tall tales are lying
I went to the police and told then about what happened and I said he seemed such a nice bloke. “Well he’s not going to sit down and tell you he’s a murder is he ?”
“Yes, in actual fact he did” I replied
Which rdc did you hear that in.
Really an Irish terror suspect sat next to you and told you,he was wanted for muddaa, then you see it in the paper 24hr later.
eagerbeaver:
robroy:
Norfolkinclue1:
Round my way for a while we had one at a nearby Indian restaurant, he was called Patelvis, apparently very good too and well known to the local venues…All I can come up with for a pun is “Love me Tandoori” or “Jailhouse Roti”…sorry, I’ll get me coat.
Guitar nan ?
Duet with Madonna…Poppadum preach ?
the old boy that started work with us was glueing the sole on one of his boots, we were going to buy him a new pair until another worker said that’s **** he is a millionaire ohh how we laughed at him …was true though he is a kin multi millionaire (plays the stock market for 30 yrs) tight as a ducks arse… now from work mates ower the yrs …. I ran over a Fakir (I think that’s what he said) in india during his national service and his long hair got caught on the prop shaft but I stopped before he got injured■■?. The lurid stories (big omar and ron jerramy should have been worried) about on the pipelines in Saudi etc during the 70-80s and how he was top dog etc,well unfortunately we had a driver that had been there during that time and back in the uk as well(family friend) and he let this go on for a while then he asked about “chef” the ex legionnaire DI that was road foreman (I met him one day and was just as George said ,hardest man I ever met) and sonnyboy said WHO ■■ George called him out in front of everyone as a ■■■■■■■■■■ ,sonnyboy left that week. Now one im not sure off …he picked up a real fat bird at Carlisle truck stop and they needed to take the window out o his truck to get her out???in the morning.
milodon:
AndrewG:
60kg is the biggest dumbell in our gym but only ever used for lat pulls, im very strong and have worked out heavy for years, i can do 52.5 (105kg) for around 4 reps incline chest press but a spotter is essential. 60kg (120) is going some, youred have to be a big lump and training heavy for a long time to do that kind of press especially for reps…I did have to doublecheck the title as to see if it was “What’s the biggest story you’ve told”
But then again, you and yours are pretty well represented here either way
Ah ha…my stalkers back as per usual 
Unlike you i really dont have to lie. Youve stalked me and my missus for years and have never even had the bottle to meet me . Working away behind your keyboard sending abusive emails is your thing from many hundreds of km away isnt it…
Fyi if you really dont know, owning a Porsche is nothing special, its seven years old and worth no more than a new Fiesta, equally unimpressive is owning a Villa in Malaga, many thousands of owners will tell you the same and continually spouting off about our truck is now getting very boring.
As for quoting my weight stats and also supposedly disbelieving that as well its bordering on the ridiculous! Fyi A relative short arse at only 5’ 8’’ but 16st, 50 chest,19’/2 biceps,30 quads , 20’’ calves and ripped with 12%body fat index and ex BAWLA (British Amateur Weight Lifting Assoc) gym instuctor, not known as the human fork lift at our yard for nothing
Wouldnt bother me so much if your vile abuse was purely directed at me via your pathetic messages but direct it at Karla and its a different ball game. Get over it ffs, its over 20 years ago and still ruling your life…at least try and get some help, groups.google.com/forum/#!topic … kf7Yq0this grievance will eat you up alive…
posting.php?mode=quote&f=2&p=2507984#
AndrewG:
milodon:
AndrewG:
60kg is the biggest dumbell in our gym but only ever used for lat pulls, im very strong and have worked out heavy for years, i can do 52.5 (105kg) for around 4 reps incline chest press but a spotter is essential. 60kg (120) is going some, youred have to be a big lump and training heavy for a long time to do that kind of press especially for reps…I did have to doublecheck the title as to see if it was “What’s the biggest story you’ve told”
But then again, you and yours are pretty well represented here either way
Ah ha…my stalkers back as per usual
Unlike you i really dont have to lie. Youve stalked me and my missus for years and have never even had the bottle to meet me . Working away behind your keyboard sending abusive emails is your thing from many hundreds of km away isnt it…
Fyi if you really dont know, owning a Porsche is nothing special, its seven years old and worth no more than a new Fiesta, equally unimpressive is owning a Villa in Malaga, many thousands of owners will tell you the same and continually spouting off about our truck is now getting very boring.
As for quoting my weight stats and also supposedly disbelieving that as well its bordering on the ridiculous! Fyi A relative short arse at only 5’ 8’’ but 16st, 50 chest,19’/2 biceps,30 quads , 20’’ calves and ripped with 12%body fat index and ex BAWLA (British Amateur Weight Lifting Assoc) gym instuctor, not known as the human fork lift at our yard for nothing
Wouldnt bother me so much if your vile abuse was purely directed at me via your pathetic messages but direct it at Karla and its a different ball game. Get over it ffs, its over 20 years ago and still ruling your life…at least try and get some help, groups.google.com/forum/#!topic … kf7Yq0this grievance will eat you up alive…
posting.php?mode=quote&f=2&p=2507984#[/
But do you also sing Elvis songs ?
Tubbysboy:
AndrewG:
milodon:
AndrewG:
60kg is the biggest dumbell in our gym but only ever used for lat pulls, im very strong and have worked out heavy for years, i can do 52.5 (105kg) for around 4 reps incline chest press but a spotter is essential. 60kg (120) is going some, youred have to be a big lump and training heavy for a long time to do that kind of press especially for reps…I did have to doublecheck the title as to see if it was “What’s the biggest story you’ve told”
But then again, you and yours are pretty well represented here either way
Ah ha…my stalkers back as per usual
Unlike you i really dont have to lie. Youve stalked me and my missus for years and have never even had the bottle to meet me . Working away behind your keyboard sending abusive emails is your thing from many hundreds of km away isnt it…
Fyi if you really dont know, owning a Porsche is nothing special, its seven years old and worth no more than a new Fiesta, equally unimpressive is owning a Villa in Malaga, many thousands of owners will tell you the same and continually spouting off about our truck is now getting very boring.
As for quoting my weight stats and also supposedly disbelieving that as well its bordering on the ridiculous! Fyi A relative short arse at only 5’ 8’’ but 16st, 50 chest,19’/2 biceps,30 quads , 20’’ calves and ripped with 12%body fat index and ex BAWLA (British Amateur Weight Lifting Assoc) gym instuctor, not known as the human fork lift at our yard for nothingWouldnt bother me so much if your vile abuse was purely directed at me via your pathetic messages but direct it at Karla and its a different ball game. Get over it ffs, its over 20 years ago and still ruling your life…at least try and get some help, groups.google.com/forum/#!topic … kf7Yq0this grievance will eat you up alive…
posting.php?mode=quote&f=2&p=2507984#[/But do you also sing Elvis songs ?
There certainly are some suspicious minds around here. I think some of us are on the edge of reality, to be honest. Has one member gone from a jack to a king or is he nothing but a hound dog?
I’ll stop now.
robroy:
eagerbeaver:
robroy:
Norfolkinclue1:
Round my way for a while we had one at a nearby Indian restaurant, he was called Patelvis, apparently very good too and well known to the local venues…All I can come up with for a pun is “Love me Tandoori” or “Jailhouse Roti”…sorry, I’ll get me coat.
Guitar nan ?
Duet with Madonna…Poppadum preach ?
you win Rob, I’m stopping before I get obsessed with puns!!
robroy:
eagerbeaver:
robroy:
Norfolkinclue1:
Round my way for a while we had one at a nearby Indian restaurant, he was called Patelvis, apparently very good too and well known to the local venues…All I can come up with for a pun is “Love me Tandoori” or “Jailhouse Roti”…sorry, I’ll get me coat.
Guitar nan ?
Duet with Madonna…Poppadum preach ?
Maybe a collaboration with the Bhuna town rats?
I don’t tend to get the tall tales much but have heard a few that gave me a chuckle;
Whilst double manning in the north east the agency guy I was out with warned me he “might have to go to the nearest train station at short notice in case we’re deployed”- I didn’t indulge his fantasy by asking who was going to call!
At CEVA I had a yearly driving assessment and the assessor told me “I’m just here to see your driving safely, I don’t care if your on the limiter on A roads (40mph back then) and stuff like that… besides i’d like to get back early and take my Ferrari for a spin. It’s an F40”- back then you’d have needed half a million £ for one if Rod Stewart felt like selling his.
Then there was the chap in Amazon Doncaster waiting room regailling me with his far and wide adventures, then he mentioned the time he “just missed the Herald”, a recycled tale i assumed so just smiled and nodded politely only this chap was not more than a couple of years older than me, and I was 5 years old when it sank…
eagerbeaver:
They did…“I don’t like Mumbai” ■■
Must stop…no more puns…ABBA…Tikka a chance on me?
Does anyone have the number for puns anonymous?
