met a driver once who claimed he was ex SAS,even believed him when he showed me proof in photo’s,as I got older I realised anything can be faked including photo’s,may well have been genuine who know’s,i would have thought as an ex SAS man you would keep it to yourself and not boast about it even though it would be something to be extremely proud of.
This thread is great! 
The best I’ve heard was a millionaire property magnate, tramping for Stobart as a tax play.
Sat in a local pub one afternoon with the Wife (she’s Canadian) and this one geezer was trying to tell us, they turn Niagara Falls off at night! yeah right.
That guy was talking nonsense, its Victoria Falls that gets switched off.
I was behind a Class 2 truck in a lay-by, and the driver insisted on talking to me (more at me I suppose). He drove for a firm delivering taps around the UK and Ireland. He gave all the old spiel about being on £20 per hour, £50 per night out, he only works when he wants, tells his boss the way he wants to do things, takes the truck home at weekends, all that stuff… (It was a bloody big rigid, so he would need a seriously big driveway to get that in).
He then said that once he does his Class 1, he’d be taking his mate’s job doing trunking from the UK to Sunny Beach, Bulgaria. For £1,200 per week. He said his mate doesn’t want it because he plays professional darts on a Thursday night, and he can’t do the nights out anymore.
Nice, steady first Class 1 job that. International tramping on £1,200 per week.
I’ve met an ex SAS man too. He was hooking up to a trailer next to me. Our paths crossed, and he just said to me “I’m ex SAS, you know”. I expected a daft punchline or a joke, but it never came. Even though he only had two fingers on one of his hands. It wasn’t blown off in the Embassy siege, you could tell he was born like that. Of course he dropped himself in it, claiming to have been driving for 40 years. I would have put him at early sixties, so it would have been a bloody short military and special forces career. You know what they say, to be a good liar, you need to have a good memory.
Best one I’ve heard was one from a Manchester bloke. We were both tipping in Haniels Zona franca. Over he walked and started talking, anyway, ended up in a restaurant for a meal. He then said with a straight face, I do this job part time, as normally I’m an Elvis impersonator on ferries and holiday camps.
How I didn’t ■■■■ myself I don’t know. Naturally he then regaled the bar with a northern rendition of love me tender. Utter rubbish hahahahahaha. Still laughing nearly 25 years later…
Tubbysboy:
Best one I’ve heard was one from a Manchester bloke. We were both tipping in Haniels Zona franca. Over he walked and started talking, anyway, ended up in a restaurant for a meal. He then said with a straight face, I do this job part time, as normally I’m an Elvis impersonator on ferries and holiday camps.How I didn’t ■■■■ myself I don’t know. Naturally he then regaled the bar with a northern rendition of love me tender. Utter rubbish hahahahahaha. Still laughing nearly 25 years later…
probably true,my ex mate [AKA ■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■ an elvis impersonater,reckons he hypnotised himself into singing like elvis,got all the gear and the silly wig,reckons he does roy orbison as well
Pub near me, a little scraggy named Lee Ryan used to come in bragging about how he had won the lottery. At one point he started lighting his cigars with bank notes and chucking them in the ash tray to burn out. Wound everyone up so much, the landlord had to bar him.
Found out a while later through the sun, it was true! He had won the lottery! It just goes to show you! He got banged up for nicking cars a couple of months later! Idiot!
Tubbysboy:
Best one I’ve heard was one from a Manchester bloke. We were both tipping in Haniels Zona franca. Over he walked and started talking, anyway, ended up in a restaurant for a meal. He then said with a straight face, I do this job part time, as normally I’m an Elvis impersonator on ferries and holiday camps.How I didn’t ■■■■ myself I don’t know. Naturally he then regaled the bar with a northern rendition of love me tender. Utter rubbish hahahahahaha. Still laughing nearly 25 years later…
truckman020:
Tubbysboy:
Best one I’ve heard was one from a Manchester bloke. We were both tipping in Haniels Zona franca. Over he walked and started talking, anyway, ended up in a restaurant for a meal. He then said with a straight face, I do this job part time, as normally I’m an Elvis impersonator on ferries and holiday camps.How I didn’t ■■■■ myself I don’t know. Naturally he then regaled the bar with a northern rendition of love me tender. Utter rubbish hahahahahaha. Still laughing nearly 25 years later…
probably true,my ex mate [AKA [zb]]was/is an elvis impersonater,reckons he hypnotised himself into singing like elvis,got all the gear and the silly wig,reckons he does roy orbison as well
Blimey, hope there’s not 2 of them about ! Can’t remember mateys name, funnily enough me dad took me lorry for me when I was on holiday and met the chap as well, and sure enough heard the same story!
biggriffin:
Tubbysboy:
Best one I’ve heard was one from a Manchester bloke. We were both tipping in Haniels Zona franca. Over he walked and started talking, anyway, ended up in a restaurant for a meal. He then said with a straight face, I do this job part time, as normally I’m an Elvis impersonator on ferries and holiday camps.How I didn’t ■■■■ myself I don’t know. Naturally he then regaled the bar with a northern rendition of love me tender. Utter rubbish hahahahahaha. Still laughing nearly 25 years later…
Kristy was always, and will remain, brilliant, but that audience don’t “get it” do they?
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Why do Elvis “Tribute Acts” always impersonate the old, fat, Elvis?
I think I´ve only ever seen one that does the younger, sleeker, version.
And he couldn´t sing! And was fat too!
Tubbysboy:
Best one I’ve heard was one from a Manchester bloke. We were both tipping in Haniels Zona franca. Over he walked and started talking, anyway, ended up in a restaurant for a meal. He then said with a straight face, I do this job part time, as normally I’m an Elvis impersonator on ferries and holiday camps.How I didn’t ■■■■ myself I don’t know. Naturally he then regaled the bar with a northern rendition of love me tender. Utter rubbish hahahahahaha. Still laughing nearly 25 years later…
Wasn’t this bloke was it? 
youtu.be/pihuLHT7-TI
Was a restaurant on the old Kent road that had a Chinese elvis impersonator
Elvis died in 77 ,quite some time ago. There are thousands of impersonators out there, some good others not so. He wrote a song for us train spotters , though they call them selves rail fans over there. “Love me tender”.
This guy cuts my hair,well used to his son runs the place now called Hendricks Barbers…Gordon still works there on odd days…
Was voted UKs best Elvis impersonator,Won stars in
Your eyes and European Elvis Champion 2011
Does a lot of shows in UK,Canada,US…
gordon-hendricks.com/
Few YouTube vids…
m.youtube.com/results?search_qu … elvis+2017
without any shadow of a doubt,this is truly the king of kings of elvis tribute acts though you have to watch a bit of it to understand the concept.
introducing,jarrow elvis.
Round my way for a while we had one at a nearby Indian restaurant, he was called Patelvis, apparently very good too and well known to the local venues…
All I can come up with for a pun is “Love me Tandoori” or “Jailhouse Roti”…sorry, I’ll get me coat.
