My old Boss at Hill Hire used to say to me “Believe half of what you hear, and all of what you see”
whatever you do don’t become a lorry driver
but did i listen 
“Stop hitting the officer dear”.
“i’d give it 5 minutes before you go in there”.
“Duck”.
“if your not sure shoot him anyway”.
run fat boy run
as you go up the hill of prosperity,may you never meet a friend…and of course as jon garner quite rightly quotes me… don’t be a tnuc have a shunt (lgv trainer)andy.
Up here for thinking, down there for dancing
On my first day with a new employer,he asked me if i’d consider being an owner driver? I replied, No, Never! He replied
NEVER SAY NEVER!
I was empolyed by him for 1 year and 15 days. I’ve been an OD ever since!
MR VAIN:
On my first day with a new employer,he asked me if i’d consider being an owner driver? I replied, No, Never! He repliedNEVER SAY NEVER!
I was empolyed by him for 1 year and 15 days. I’ve been an OD ever since!
ayup great mate,additionally “never purchase a kelberg with tridec rear-steer”… 
“if in dought, go flat out”…5 mins later i wrote off my mate’s 5 grand quad 
‘If in doubt …do nowt’
ALL woman lie ,
except your wee ma !
yes i am bitter and twisted 
Happy Keith:
‘If in doubt …do nowt’
Yep that’s one of my favourites too. I’ve dodged a few bullets thanks to that one…
my uncle
its better to travel than arrive
me on London
if in doubt pull out
me on the job
if it cant be done legal it cant be done
on my first day at work after leaving school
the only stupid question is the one u dont ask
Never get married but if you do, marry a woman with small hands.
hitch:
‘…its better to travel than arrive…’
Which reminds me of ‘Arrive Alive’
(Once on billboards at the side of the carriageway on a Hong Kong ‘motorway’ above smashed cars mounted on plinths: Scary but effective…)
hitch:
me on London
if in doubt pull out
I hear you
Why are you speeding?? we get paid by the hour,not by results
From my dad,after 26 years of driving 
Second hole down from the back of the neck!
Don’t do it !!