i copped for a real trumpet last night who had a whole bagful of myths that would take this thread to about page 50 if id listened to them all and not switched off listening after 5 mins. he was a dhl driver for m&s out of enfield.
amongst the best ones were :
royal mail artics are allowed to use the outside lane of motorways because they work for the queen.
booker cash n carry artic drivers are on 62k a year. rigid drivers are on 48k.
he takes home £1300 a week doing 8hr night shifts at dhl enfield.
he was the driver of the trailer full of harry potter books that got nicked a few days before release.
new euro 6 trucks cant be speed restricted down from 56 mph to, say, 52 mph as the engine has to run at full chat all the time otherwise it will wreck it and the dealer will refuse to pay out for a new one.
there was no mention of any boats or anyone called herald that i can recall, nor any mention of chalk or police but me and another driver who also found his bs most amusing are planning to wind him up tonight and see how much bs we can get him to spew out in the shortest time period possible. i think there should be a prize for a record! coffeeholic would be proud if he was still around.
starfighter:
My mate was telling me about how when he was on the coaches he used to get on wearing sunglasses and carrying a stick whilst being guided by his courier, before driving off. As they went down the road the courier would say “turn here”, “stop now” etc. Upon questioning the courier would tell the passengers that the driver was blind but he was ok as long as he told him when to turn. Apparently they believed this and didn’t say a thing. Don’t know if it was true or not but I laughed like a loon when he told me.
Tis true!
i know a team that once did it.
i could never get my co driver to play ball and try this stunt.
0a.:
i copped for a real trumpet last night who had a whole bagful of myths that would take this thread to about page 50 if id listened to them all and not switched off listening after 5 mins. he was a dhl driver for m&s out of enfield.
amongst the best ones were :
royal mail artics are allowed to use the outside lane of motorways because they work for the queen.
booker cash n carry artic drivers are on 62k a year. rigid drivers are on 48k.
he takes home £1300 a week doing 8hr night shifts at dhl enfield.
he was the driver of the trailer full of harry potter books that got nicked a few days before release.
new euro 6 trucks cant be speed restricted down from 56 mph to, say, 52 mph as the engine has to run at full chat all the time otherwise it will wreck it and the dealer will refuse to pay out for a new one.
there was no mention of any boats or anyone called herald that i can recall, nor any mention of chalk or police but me and another driver who also found his bs most amusing are planning to wind him up tonight and see how much bs we can get him to spew out in the shortest time period possible. i think there should be a prize for a record! coffeeholic would be proud if he was still around.
truckyboy:
Cant believe this has been dragged up from 2006…things must be bad.
old In the spirit of thread resurrection then, a warehouse bod told me this very day with a straight face that long distance drivers are allowed by law to urinate against the near side wheels. I tried to argue but she was insistent.
or the livestock driver pulled over on the A7 and given a real bollocking by a young cop about packing to many sheep on the bottom deck…on asking what he was talking about the cop tells the driver to walk down the n/s o the float and there was a big pair o tups balls hanging out o the side vents…seems half o Langholm had complained (it was common riding friday and the streets were packed).
The said driver then reaches up and cuts them off!!,the cop goes nuts until the driver tells him hes got a load o skins on the bottom deck.
its true …my dad was the driver ,happened in late 60s…cop gave him a warning though.
jimmy.
truckyboy:
Cant believe this has been dragged up from 2006…things must be bad.
old In the spirit of thread resurrection then, a warehouse bod told me this very day with a straight face that long distance drivers are allowed by law to urinate against the near side wheels. I tried to argue but she was insistent.
IIRC its Hansom cab drivers(any on here please correct me if wrong!) and they also have to carry a bale of hay for the horse
After many years in the business I think I have heard most stories about a hundred times as they tend to be just that…stories. I wondered if you had any favourites.?
My own personal favourite is that of a Golf GTI convertable with the lid down, trapped in the outside lane of a duel carrigeway at the lights when a cattle transporter pulls along side of it. The car was complete with an arrogant yuppie , blond streaks and raybans with girlfriend and mega watts music (you get the idea) when one of the bullocks in the wagon lifts its tail and sends a perfectly aimed stream of bright yellow pungant bulls pee through the slats in the lorry and half fills the car with him unable to move. I must confess to having dined out on that story many times but have no idea if it is true or not.
EVERYONE reckons they were stuck on Shap in the snow drifts.
Another favourite tale is the “I ran out of hours at Tesbury’s RDC and refused to move so they called the cops out and the cops came and told the manager that I wasn’t to be disturbed for 11 hrs and they put cones round my truck” etc
The Paddy’s with 26 tonne of hanging beef in a fridge and the same weight in steel on the deck .
Oh and not forgetting how EVERY driver bull [zb]'s about how much he gets each week. Every driver round here on artics are on at least £500 a week take home according to them, and this includes the likes of Bedford’s, Mac’s, Irlam’s, Longies etc. I’ve worked out that drivers usually add somewhere between £50-100 on top of what they’re REALLY getting.
One legend here is ,if you are driving up north during the rutting season and happen upon a bull Moose,watch out because in his totesterone fueled frenzy he will charge your truck.Some say the ramming can be severe enough to roll your truck over.
As far as general bs goes I have personally met drivers, who have chained up at the bottom of Donner pass, in a blizzard ,in less than five minutes… got nicked doing 110mph at night in Arizona and didn’t get a ticket,…were able to juggle 3 log books well enough to fool the weighstation and their WIFE !!!..drive coast to coast (2800 miles) in 2 and a bit days,…consistently get 10mpg fully loaded in a Peterbrick mega engine,with the windows down…etcetera
Oh and that aftermarket widget they sell that goes in the fuel line,before the injectors,is definitely good for an extra 2mpg
we used to do one on the coaches - as you drop on to jubilee way going into dover there’s a load of transmitter masts on the left. we used to get on the mike and tell the passengers that if they touched the windows they would feel the buzz off them followed by loads of “ooh doris, did u feel it, i did”
On the theme of lying about rates I used to reckon the continent was the most fertile ground for that. In my early days I used to answer any questions truthfully about what I was getting for a Milan or whatever but soon learnt that Whatever you said would be met with a sharp ■■■■ of the teeth and the retort “I wouldnt get out of bed for that” so I played games, telling them any old bull and it still happened.
What about the stories though. 23 hours for a customs stripout and found nothing, Drivers claiming Habius corpus at RDC’s, you must all know some?
ROB K the one about the paddy with hanging meat plus steel is not far from the truth, some where in the collection i have a old headlight mags with a report about a IRISH lorry carry ing two loads ,the first was steel plate, and on top where tractors it took three lorrys to move the load,and this was 38tn was the limit.HE was also done for various other offences, I belive that he was caught around the Birmingham area,
it’s got top be agency drivers at the mo, everyone you talk to is SO much better off since they “packed in” their regular job! recently i’ve heard one who claimed to have earnt £250 for a sunday, getting paid 12 hours but actually only did 4 and was home for his sunday lunch
but i’ve yet to meet anyone who’s done euro work that can’t come up with some extremely dodgy story, fella i met the other week claimed he used to double load his curtainsider every week, his firms load on the bottom and beer on the top and sold it to a ■■■■ in dover for a grand a run
them were the days!
this stunt.
