The female species, they enjoy ■■■ a lot more than we do yet when I want it and the wife doesn’t I have no chance, but ohh when she wants it and I don’t I’m easily forced into it.
Also women who scream ‘I’m coming, I’m coming,’ during coitus then stop talking. I’m confused now as I have no way of knowing if I’ve hit the spot and can disengage to give my tongue and chin a rest. Would a confirmatory ‘I’ve ■■■’ be to much to ask.
Having ■■■ on a £9.50 Sun holiday when sharing a caravan with family and friends and the wife says OK but be quiet. She then proceeds to make more noise than I do.
Getting revenge on the wife when having a night out by taking her into 10 different pubs before returning to the first one for a drink.
Dipper_Dave:
Getting revenge on the wife when having a night out by taking her into 10 different pubs before returning to the first one for a drink.
Love that [emoji106]
I reckon that they should have Dad Crèches/Bars in House of Frazer-M&S-BHS-John Lewis etc, then we wouldn’t be so Bored waiting for them to try on 15 Dresses only to buy the Bloody 1st one [emoji22]
Dipper_Dave:
Getting revenge on the wife when having a night out by taking her into 10 different pubs before returning to the first one for a drink.
Love that [emoji106]
I reckon that they should have Dad Crèches/Bars in House of Frazer-M&S-BHS-John Lewis etc, then we wouldn’t be so Bored waiting for them to try on 15 Dresses only to buy the Bloody 1st one [emoji22]
I’m lucky that I’m not allowed clothes shopping with the wife due to a full Gok Wan moment when my beloved emerged from the dressing room in a new frock and I launched into a rather loud tirade of “OMG you look fabulous, I’m gonna cry such is the stunning fit of that dress, even your bum looks tiny”.
The wife went red as a baboons bottom and uttered the immortal phrase “■■■■ off David”, which usually signals victory.
The local council sticking an “unsafe monument” notice and murder scene type tape around my grandparents gravestone. Nothing wrong with it, yet victorian monuments to the once rich and powerful of witney can lean over like they do in horror movies with no such notices.
Oh yes I know why, it’s because their family line has long since died out and there’s nobody around to screw a few quid out of.
We’ve been told that the “monument could topple onto someone underneath it” Well, Gramp’s been under it since 1983 and Nan was cremated in 1988 so I doubt either are in fit state to complain.
When another driver sits and watches you cleaning/polishing the inside of your cab with both Windows opens do you don’t kill yourself then when you get it clean and smelling nice and fresh the blurt opens his window and lights up a ciggie and the smoke blows into your cab.
Spending 5 mins on an automated call system talking crap to a computer while entering details, only eventually be greeting by someone who’s first language is OBVIOUSLY not English, resulting in you wanting to talk to the computer instead, as they are asking for the same info AGAIN!
Evil8Beezle:
Spending 5 mins on an automated call system talking crap to a computer while entering details, only eventually be greeting by someone who’s first language is OBVIOUSLY not English, resulting in you wanting to talk to the computer instead, as they are asking for the same info AGAIN!
& they’re always called David or Jennifer !
Yea ! Right ! & my names Gupta. [emoji57]
My Missus.
Just ‘Pops’ into Sainsburys yesterday for a loaf of bread, I gave her a £20 note (so we had plenty of change)
BIG MISTAKE [emoji22]
She gives me £11.15 back !
WTF !
“That was an expensive loaf of Bread ?”
“Oh, I decided to get some other bits as well”
If she’d told me that in the first place, I’d have given her my credit card !!!
Dangerous I know, but I don’t like spending Beer Tokens on loads of Groceries. [emoji57] hmmph
The Bbc Royal family reporter, he is annoying with his quotes about their life and having members of the Royal family in the background while filming them, his name is Nicholas Wytchell.
The use of the word " like" ,the Americans use it and the youth of the UK.
For example, " I was, like, so happy ."
Radio presenters say it when they have American or Canadian guest, like.
I hate it when they rustle sweet bags and make a noise, chomping on pop corn, looking at their mobile phones to catch up on social media, then the muppets eating smelly hot dogs and Nacho chips that stink like dog faeces, it is a cinema , not a restaurant .
Cinema staff that give you the dirty look because you want to see the end credits and they want to clean the cinema, I have paid to
see all of the film to the end .
Put the noisy sweets in a tub or paper cup , it is not rocket science .
toby1234abc:
I hate it when they rustle sweet bags and make a noise, chomping on pop corn, looking at their mobile phones to catch up on social media, then the muppets eating smelly hot dogs and Nacho chips that stink like dog faeces, it is a cinema , not a restaurant .
Cinema staff that give you the dirty look because you want to see the end credits and they want to clean the cinema, I have paid to
see all of the film to the end .
Put the noisy sweets in a tub or paper cup , it is not rocket science .
Obviously not followers of ‘The code of conduct’ and a hello to Jason Issacs
All this fuss over it being 400 years since Shakespeare snuffed it. Nobody cares to mention that ever since, millions of people have been bored turdless at school or irritated by street performers reciting his boring claptrap.
Stratford on Avon (nice place to visit though) finding the most tenuous and tedious links to Shakespeare. “This house is made to look like one Shakespeare might’ve visited. It contains objects similar to those he might’ve used, and the guides wear clothes that someone might’ve worn in the late Tudor period. The house is believed to haunted by the ghost of someone who was Shakespeares’ second cousins’ sister in law, but this is yet to be substantiated. They’re meant to appear on many days during the tourist season, near the giftshop. No cameras please but postcards are for sale to raise money for the building’s upkeep as faux tudor structures of the 1950s suffer from damp in their prefabricated structure.”
toby1234abc:
I hate it when they rustle sweet bags and make a noise, chomping on pop corn, looking at their mobile phones to catch up on social media, then the muppets eating smelly hot dogs and Nacho chips that stink like dog faeces, it is a cinema , not a restaurant .
Cinema staff that give you the dirty look because you want to see the end credits and they want to clean the cinema, I have paid to
see all of the film to the end .
Put the noisy sweets in a tub or paper cup , it is not rocket science .
Have you considered that the overpriced crap some buy possibly subsidies the ticket price, which is already overpriced!
And it’s the cinema that needs to sell the sweets in cups mate, they are the ones selling them!
I’m still at a loss to understand why virtually any social activity simply has to involve stuffing their faces with junk food or snacks? Going to the shops with the kids? They have to stuff their faces with crisps, chocolate etc as they arrive at the supermarket and then all the way around. Kids going out to play with their friends for an hour? They have to have a bag of crisps to keep them sustained until teatime. Adults doing the weekly grocery shop? They have to have a frothy coffee and/or a Greggs roll in one hand while they browse the aisles. Spending a couple of hours looking round some stately home or tourist attraction? They have to stuff their faces and swig on bottles or cans of pop. What is it with this continuous bloody snacking? No wonder there’s an obesity epidemic.
Well, Gramp’s been under it since 1983 and Nan was cremated in 1988 so I doubt either are in fit state to complain. 
