The other morning while driving back to my base I began to feel a bit sleepy. I thought to myself “I’ll just close my eyes for a second, it won’t matter”, but then the rumble strip woke me up. My satnav then started telling me stories about when he served in Vietnam so I switched him off, pulled over for a bit and repeatedly slapped my own face until I felt ready to drive again.
How do you know when you’re too tired to drive?
when even the ‘voices’ have called it a night and gone to sleep.
well this video might shock a few people, I have noticed this video while searching on youtube
When you start rubbing your neck and face you have maybe 20 minutes before you really start to flag. Sounds silly, but it is right enough.
A 15 minute power nap can make all the difference then, but that is all that will make any difference.
Throw a coffee or can of coke down your neck, then have a 15min power nap, by the time you wake up the caffeine has kicked in and you’re in the wide awake club 
Any more than 15 or 20mins though and you wake up feeling more tired, also if you’re prone to tiredness, avoid turkey and bananas, they make you sleepy somehow 
Personally I suffer from the opposite, which is why I’m on here at this time when I’m starting work in four hours 
■■■■■, don’t it?
Insomnia is a curse of the job, as well as fatigue. A contradiction in itself.
newmercman:
…avoid turkey and bananas, they make you sleepy somehow
I always thought bananas were good? Slow releasing sugars and all that. Energy drinks and caffiene tend to have the opposite effect on me and make me really tired. It all started when I drank four litres of Red Bull* in two hours once. I slipped into a coma for a couple of weeks and if I drink it now it gives me a twenty stone head.
*Other dangerous drinks are available.
Funnily enough dog I could’ve used your help earlier, the reason I’m up so late is, we bought the world’s largest indoor xmas tree and the bottom wasn’t cut straight so it was leaning over, your chainsaw would’ve come in well handy 
No good at the moment as I had to cut a tyre off with it. Besides, if you buy the proper stand at Canadian Tire… $30 or so, then the wonky cut is good as the water gets into the cut easier.
The only drawback is that the little centering thingy is a witch to get to screw in place. Put mine up the other night so am in the know… 
I’ve been awake since 11am yesterday. Can anyone confirm if a monkey and a dog are having a conversation about Christmas tree bases on this thread or not? I am very tired.
I am not a real monkey, it’s just my interweb fantasy persona 
I too have the Ukranian Tire tree stand, four screws supposed to center it, although it is the version for up to 9’ trees, ours is a slightly smaller version of the one in Trafalgar Square and completely overwhelms it, next year I’ll buy the tree before the stand 
In the words of one of my favourite TNUK members, billionaire ■■■■■■■ Sam Millar:
Sam Millar:
I’d rather you kept this to PM please. I don’t want my thread being filled up with this.
Mine has the 4 bolts but I mean the one on the little cross shaped centre thing. I haven’t decorated it, I shall leave that to Carla and the boys to do, hopefully before I get back. And there has to be some top trimming done before anything can be stuck on the top as well.
Sounds as though we both overestimated the ceiling heights…
My chief concern is having 3 boys and 2 large dogs rampaging through the house. I am seriously considering guy wires. At least the cat has been rehomed. I can actually imagine the carnage once the cat got treed by the dogs and the boys decided to rescue it. 
Sorry, Smashed Crab… but we are tired drivers… Minds tend to wander. I have been rubbing my neck with fatigue but am too wired to sleep…
And that video clip is bloody terrifying… especially the laughing and the fact that the passenger was more interested in filming than shouting!
I have one of them double height ceilings in the front room, so height not a problem, balance is the issue, usually it’s me with the balancing problems on a Saturday night
SCF, you can tell Mr Millar to poke it up his arse, 111 people had been entertained by this thread when I posted this, not only that, it’s informative too, who would expect advice on xmas tree erection on a lorry drivers website, talk about value for money 
Maybe the tree was steady and you were the one teetering then…?
And you do have a point… The advice is vital and seasonal…
I can’t believe a monkey and a dog have ruined SmashedCrabFace’s latest blockbuster smash hit thread. I’m going to bed to cry and ■■■■■■■■■■ myself to sleep.
I am not going to give you advice on that kind of erection as well!!
You’re good, I have to give you that… Very quick off the mark there… No pun intended!