Eat your tea…kids in Africa would be glad of that…
Well get me an envelope I’ll post the bloody sprouts to 'em
Sit still have you got worms
Stop touchin it or it’l drop off
Take yer coat off or you wont feel the benefit
I’L slap yer legs for ya
Be back in for Fall Guy hahaha
You dont know your born kids nowadays
Av you been in my ■■■■■
Pop to shop for my cigs tell em i sent ya
pop nxt door ask if they have a 50p for the tele its ran out
Tell the coal man weve popped out see him nxt week
Its sunday Bath Night lol
Don’t pull a face,if the wind changes,you’ll stay like that.(That one may well have some truth in it 
)
Never look a frog in the eyes or your teeth will turn to wood 
.Just now remembered this one.Where TF did that originate 
.
“if youre gonna come home drunk- dont bother coming home”
Get an ear bashing next day for not coming home 
If you are not in bed by 11.30, come home!
Who does she think she is, the Queen of Sheba?
She dresses like lady Docker
If he said put your hand in the fire, would you?
There are starving kids who will eat your tea.
Hay, it’s for horses, say pardon
If you swallow chewing gum it will wrap itself around your heart and you’ll wake up dead tomorrow…
I’m still here mum
the things prents used to say when you were a kid
1/dont talk to starngers-well how do i meet anyone
2/ eat your crusts it will make your hair curl-i dont won’t curlly hair
3/pack it up or i’ll take me hand off your face-what!!!
4/eat your tea or you’ll go to bed hungry-correct
5/carrots help you see in the dark-what a crock
anymore?
jon
Stop Crying…Or I will give you some thing to cry for…Weell Excuse Meeee… I am crying for a reason and really dont need another reason
Keep going and you will be smiling on the otherside of your face…Physical Impossibilty■■?
One day you will be glad I am makiing you do …XXXXXX(Fill in a multitude of onerous jobs)… 41 years on this [planet and I am not grateful yet
‘If you fall and break your leg, don’t come running to me.’
How come parents didn’t know it would be difficult to run witha broken leg?
I won’t tell you again/That’s the last time I tell you.(thank Christ for that!)
Speak only when spoken to.
Do as I say,not as I do.
Dan. 
“Dont put that on- its wringing wet- you`ll catch your death of cold”
(about an item of clothing that had been in the airing cupboard for three months)
Vince
Don’t look at me in that tone of voice
Eh ? What the hell is that all about ■■? 
Brgds
Speedy
jonboy:
5/carrots help you see in the dark-what a crock
oh no it’s not - when was the last time you saw a rabbit wearing spectacles?!
jj72:
oh no it’s not - when was the last time you saw a rabbit wearing spectacles?!
Bugs Bunny, in disguise, last week-end. Or was it watership down?
If Bugs Bunny was in disguise,How did you know it was him?
I’ll wash your mouth out with soap!!!
I’ll blow bubbles out my Rs
OR
Just you wait till your father gets home"!!!
Hot (zb) mom that mother (zb) never comes home see you in the morning
Eat your crusts, it will put hairs on your chest.
Stop picking your nose or your brain will cave in.
That tv will give you square eyes.
In fact i still get that from my mother!!!
regards
kev
Courtesy of Mr Connolley,
Where did you lose it■■?. If i [ZB] knew that i would,nt be asking!!"!
Let the fox live.
Edited you know the score jammy 
-ATKIG11
lol@ JAMMY, ITS LIKE YOU WILL ALWAYS FIND IT IN THE LAST PLACE YOU LOOK!!! Well once i find it i aint looking for it anymore
regards
kev
My Dad driving his Reliant Regal in the late 60’s, being passed by someoen doing twice the speed would say.
“He won’t get there any faster” … What was he on ? he’ll get there twice as fast.
Another saying is ;- “It’s too cold to snow”
Since living here I have discovered that is rubish ! I have known 50 degrees of frost but still snowing hard. As I type this it’s - 20c and we have a blizzard.