James the cat:
Parlimantary under secretary of state for Women and equalities - Dipper
All in good jest don’t lose your ■■■■■■■ now 
I can assure everyone in my first role as Parliamentry Under secretary for Womens Stuff my first campaign will be that all women keep their ■■■■■■■ on and women are no longer seen as just objects for procreation, ■■■■■■ satisfaction and for gratification of my deepest desire.
They do other things which my new advisor Lady V Feltz will inform me of in her very own dulcits at our first meeting on Monday.
I envisage a world where women are in charge and men are submissive, where a womans right is her birth right and not something she has to fight for, where my sisters take control of this planet and run it in anyway they like.
Starting with a reversal of dress code where women wear the trousers.
I also reserve the right to totally abuse my position and cause a scandal midway through this parliament.
Dipper_Dave:
I can assure everyone in my first role as Parliamentry Under secretary for Womens Stuff my first campaign will be that all women keep their ■■■■■■■ on and women are no longer seen as just objects for procreation, ■■■■■■ satisfaction and for gratification
In view of that objectionable statement I intend to kick off a back bench revolt on grounds of the national interest.

Can we make Toby1234abcd foreign secretary?