Retired Old ■■■■:
Harry- There is the thought in my head that a way out for our young pal, windrush, is instead of attempting to master the art of driving a Hoover, he employs that superior item of cleaning, the K’ARCHER power washer. If he starts in the back bedroom, works his way around the upper rooms, down the stair carpet, through the house and out the front door, he will not only get the place cleaner than it’s been for years, but the resulting slight dampness may just be enough to get him banned from “assisting” in household chores.
What do you think?
hiya,
ROF I think you might have played the winning card there, it might take
a while to do the entire house (with the essential lie downs) in between
can’t strain oneself but if he can get it done before his good lady comes
home for her visit it should get him classified as a useless old git and get
him banned from broom and kitchen sink for evermore, nice one mate.
thanks harry, long retired.
harry_gill:
hiya,
Can be done on line Pete, but the best way is in horizontal with a large single malt in
hand and a little light music on the CD player, Hope the Missus is on the mend it must
be hard work for you at the moment what with keeping the place just the way you like
it and the hospital visits seem to be on top of you before you can turn round, I still do
the school run for my daughter bring her to my house and her Nanna feeds her until a
Mam or Dad call to pick her up around the 6 o’clock mark there was two of the little
darlings until last Summer but now I’ve only got the one to bother about, us oldies are
just cheap labour, but that’s my limit and I soften the blow by telling myself that the
walks to and from the school are my daily exercise.
thanks harry, long retired.
Hi Harry, I have been doing it for eleven years now so used to it, however she fell in November and spent three weeks in hospital with a fractured left wrist. Got her home just before Christmas and she was slowly getting around a little, then I answered the front door three weeks ago and when I went back into the kitchen she had got out of her chair, fallen again and smashed her right arm! They have had to plate and screw it up and hopefully she is on the mend, they will not let her home until they are satisfied that she can get around the house as these falls are getting too regular now. I visit her every day, her brother who lives next door has been nowhere near of course! She has MS plus Ostio Arthritis in her legs and hands as well as four broken bones in her back that went undetected for years and have now healed out of position, so she has her problems! However we will keep going and I will keep cleaning etc until she finds a nice ‘toy boy’ to take over my duties ha ha!
Pete.
Pete.
hiya,
Didn’t realize your Good Lady was quite so unwell Pete must be hard
for you, just hope you get her home soon at least you won’t have the
hospital visits to do in what is already a busy day for you.
thanks harry, long retired.
Aye Harry, it isn’t easy and to be honest I have struggled lately as when she does fall I cannot lift her on my own. She isn’t especially heavy, just a dead weight that tries to resist being lifted! I just dial 999 now, tried 111 but the end result is the same so they told me not to bother with it, it just slows the job down. The Paramedics use an air bag to raise her, doesn’t hurt them or her. Anyway the house is a clean for her, and when she goes back to the ward tomorrow I can set to mucking it up again and making it look like the home I recognize!!! Got the dog and parrot for company, being an ex trucker I am used to being alone and I cope OK, quite happy with my own company and I can eat what I like when I like.
Keep up the good work, matey!
And I have had two more little brainwaves-
I have VERY little knowledge or experience of your good lady’s ailments, but I would be willing to have a go at some, or all of them. I have a workshop full of equipment which I have gathered over the years and with a bit of treatment with a wire brush and a couple of cans of WD40 I reckon they should come up to almost clinical cleanliness. If you would like to assist, you will have to supply your own whites, mask, gloves, etc because I only have the one greasy boiler suit. I think we could make a reasonable job of restoring her ladyship to something resembling good health if we put our mind to it. The downside of the operation is that there will, of course, be a small charge for my skill and the use of facilities, brought about by the lack of success of my overpriced Loading, Sheeting & Roping courses. I’m confident that we can reduce overheads further by persuading the lads from t’other side of the Pennines to contribute a dram or two of their Scottish anaesthetic. Give it some thought.
As to the toy boy idea, I assume you have not forgotten that he will need feeding? In my limited experience of the subject, it seems that this idea of yours warrants a lot more thinking about. If you are still interested in the idea, may I suggest that the first place to start would be to place an advert on Ebay?
On a slightly more serious note, can I wish you and herself all possible good fortune? Hope she is back home soon and able to point out just where you’re going wrong with the housework.
Look after your owd lass Pete, we all chirp on here but at the end of the day our ladies are priceless. I think I can safely say that (for the moment) you are excused from being a “lazy useless git” Mine fell in the bathroom a while ago, she’s only a slight little thing and I’m a big fella but I struggled to get her up, she was just a dead weight.
Do your best mate.
Well they brought the missus home yesterday for a ‘home check’ and with a few modifications (removing various doors to make more space) she should be home early next week. The bathroom/toilet will be out of bounds to her for a few weeks until her arm heals so I will be washing her down in the back yard with the Karcher as someone suggested previously! Got a delivery of even more medical aids arriving today, I told the physio yesterday that if we have much more equipment in the house her risk of falling will be greatly reduced…there wont be space for her to fall! Anyway thank’s for your thoughts, and Dave’s PM, much appreciated. Now to search ebay for that toy boy as Norman still hasn’t arrived yet, maybe his bus pass was a forgery?
Hi Pete,
Norm is probably finding it hard canoeing up the A6 towards your place after all the rain, he’s probably worn a couple of paddles out already.
Hope all goes well for you and your wife when she gets home.
Cheers Dave.
I can only wish you good luck pete . the late ma in law was in a similar situation so i can understand the problems you face . you sound as if you have the job well sorted and good for you . no doubt you will keep in mind all the " handy hints " from the inmates on this thread for future reference . as someone else said , she is priceless , look after her , regards , dave
Dave the Renegade:
Hi Pete,
Norm is probably finding it hard canoeing up the A6 towards your place after all the rain, he’s probably worn a couple of paddles out already.
Hope all goes well for you and your wife when she gets home.
Cheers Dave.
If he can make it to Sawley he could pick up the River’s Trent and Derwent all the way Dave, probably struggle over a few weirs going against the river flow but for an ex Middle East trucker they shouldn’t present a REAL problem to the old lad should they? I will even go down to Matlock Bridge and fish him out of the water, there are two betting shops where he could spend an hour or two drying out while backing three legged donkey’s…
Be assured that I will continue to do my best for the Good Lady chaps, I have even saved up the pot washing and ironing for her to get back into the swing of things.
Hi Pete,
I expect Norm has turned up at Chatsworth, as he’s well heeled and got a bit of class about him. He might be stalking a few old dears about there .
Keep your eyes peeled Pete, he could turn up anytime now.
Cheers Dave.
grumpy old man:
Local Asian car wash, once a week, jet washed AND they’ll leather her off for you. Easy, she walks through, you stand and “supervise”
If you use the one in Macc you even get a free cardboard air freshener (onion bahjee flavour).
Pete, as you are coming round to the K’Archer idea, I wonder if I can interest you in a job lot of hard brushes which somehow found their way into my cab from a load of equipment I was hauling years ago.
Dave the Renegade:
If Pete’s wife ever gets to read these posts, I can see a mass hanging happening in Matlock and several other places.
Cheers Dave.
hiya,
You see Dave, it always pays to be gracious when referring to the ladies
in our lives, I wasn’t in the past and have the cauliflower ears to prove it,
but believe me my friend lessons have been learned and I now treat the
woman in my life with the greatest respect, I know which side my bread
is buttered, and which way to go when she throws a left hook.
thanks harry
Dave the Renegade:
If Pete’s wife ever gets to read these posts, I can see a mass hanging happening in Matlock and several other places.
Cheers Dave.
hiya,
You see Dave, it always pays to be gracious when referring to the ladies
in our lives, I wasn’t in the past and have the cauliflower ears to prove it,
but believe me my friend lessons have been learned and I now treat the
woman in my life with the greatest respect, I know which side my bread
is buttered, and which way to go when she throws a left hook.
thanks harry
Learned to roll with the punches have you Harry.
Cheers Dave.
Dave the Renegade:
If Pete’s wife ever gets to read these posts, I can see a mass hanging happening in Matlock and several other places.
Cheers Dave.
hiya,
You see Dave, it always pays to be gracious when referring to the ladies
in our lives, I wasn’t in the past and have the cauliflower ears to prove it,
but believe me my friend lessons have been learned and I now treat the
woman in my life with the greatest respect, I know which side my bread
is buttered, and which way to go when she throws a left hook.
thanks harry
Learned to roll with the punches have you Harry.
Cheers Dave.
hiya,
Yep Dave, but am starting to become punch drunk.
thanks harry, long retired.
Dave the Renegade:
If Pete’s wife ever gets to read these posts, I can see a mass hanging happening in Matlock and several other places.
Cheers Dave.
She knows all about it Dave, went to see her today and I mentioned all the ‘helpful hints’ that you guy’s have passed on to me. Hanging WAS mentioned… but not by the neck! She commented that she hadn’t realised what an uncouth, idle lot of waster’s lorry driver’s are, the only ones that she had encountered in the past have all been ex tipper men who were (of course) perfect gentlemen!
Anyway names have been noted down in her little black book so just pray that she doesn’t visit either Dewsbury, Macclesfield, Buxton or Durham in the next few month’s, Dave is safe as he has done nothing wrong in her eye’s and Norman STILL hasn’t arrived so she is washing her hand’s of him altogether.
You have been warned.
Dave the Renegade:
If Pete’s wife ever gets to read these posts, I can see a mass hanging happening in Matlock and several other places.
Cheers Dave.
She knows all about it Dave, went to see her today and I mentioned all the ‘helpful hints’ that you guy’s have passed on to me. Hanging WAS mentioned… but not by the neck! She commented that she hadn’t realised what an uncouth, idle lot of waster’s lorry driver’s are, the only ones that she had encountered in the past have all been ex tipper men who were (of course) perfect gentlemen!
Anyway names have been noted down in her little black book so just pray that she doesn’t visit either Dewsbury, Macclesfield, Buxton or Durham in the next few month’s, Dave is safe as he has done nothing wrong in her eye’s and Norman STILL hasn’t arrived so she is washing her hand’s of him altogether.
You have been warned.
Pete.
hiya,
Pete, if your good lady thinks I deserve a thrashing because of my uncouthness
will you ask her to concentrate on my right ear it’s not quite so cauliflowered
as my left one it might just balance me up a bit and make me a bit bonnier.
thanks harry, long retired.
She has MS plus Ostio Arthritis in her legs and hands as well as four broken bones in her back that went undetected for years and have now healed out of position, so she has her problems! However we will keep going and I will keep cleaning etc until she finds a nice ‘toy boy’ to take over my duties ha ha! 
Got the dog and parrot for company, being an ex trucker I am used to being alone and I cope OK, quite happy with my own company and I can eat what I like when I like. 
Mine fell in the bathroom a while ago, she’s only a slight little thing and I’m a big fella but I struggled to get her up, she was just a dead weight.
Anyway thank’s for your thoughts, and Dave’s PM, much appreciated. Now to search ebay for that toy boy as Norman still hasn’t arrived yet, maybe his bus pass was a forgery? 
