Dave the Renegade:
If Pete’s wife ever gets to read these posts, I can see a mass hanging happening in Matlock and several other places.
Cheers Dave.
She knows all about it Dave, went to see her today and I mentioned all the ‘helpful hints’ that you guy’s have passed on to me. Hanging WAS mentioned… but not by the neck! She commented that she hadn’t realised what an uncouth, idle lot of waster’s lorry driver’s are, the only ones that she had encountered in the past have all been ex tipper men who were (of course) perfect gentlemen!
Anyway names have been noted down in her little black book so just pray that she doesn’t visit either Dewsbury, Macclesfield, Buxton or Durham in the next few month’s, Dave is safe as he has done nothing wrong in her eye’s and Norman STILL hasn’t arrived so she is washing her hand’s of him altogether.
You have been warned.
Pete.
hiya,
Pete, if your good lady thinks I deserve a thrashing because of my uncouthness
will you ask her to concentrate on my right ear it’s not quite so cauliflowered
as my left one it might just balance me up a bit and make me a bit bonnier.
thanks harry, long retired.
If she gives you a good belting around your right lughole Harry, you should be leveled up and walking upright.
Cheers Dave.
hiya,
It’s OK for you Dave you’re in the good books, well protected so to speak
as for a good hiding straightening me up that wouldn’t last very long I’d
soon get the “list to starboard” back with the aid of the whisky bottle.
thanks harry, long retired.
harry_gill:
hiya,
It’s OK for you Dave you’re in the good books, well protected so to speak
as for a good hiding straightening me up that wouldn’t last very long I’d
soon get the “list to starboard” back with the aid of the whisky bottle.
thanks harry, long retired.
Harry old mate, I’m never in anybody’s good books for long. I usually end up in the smelly stuff, but I don’t worry about it, as I’m used to it.
Cheers Dave.
hiya,
Being in the “fertilizer business” as I call it is par for the course in my
neck of the woods, I’m usually in it and up to my chin, I could get out
for good behaviour but I’m not dropping my guard she would soon find
another excuse to drop me in it again, so I choose to stay put, can’t be
doing with change at my time of life.
thanks harry, long retired.
you should know by now harry that women spell things differently to us , they spell the word man , w.r.o.n.g. so regardless how good you may think you are being you end up in the brown stuff , cheers , dave
Well Harry I thought that all my cleaning and polishing stuff t’other day would have impressed my missus when she was brought home briefly on Thursday but she now informs me that the place looked no different! However she did ask why I had moved various items and told me to put them back as they were not where they should be, also she queried why I was drying clothes over the stair rail instead of putting them in the tumble drier “to save electricity dear” I told her, thinking that would get me a bonus point or two! “Well next time tumble them please, it makes them softer”, seems that no matter what you do it aint right, plus all these things will go into her Memory Bank to be brought out at some time in the future. Never mind, happen I WILL get something right ‘one day’ but that day could be a long way off! Oh and to cap it all I went and inspected my nicely painted window frame today only to find that the gloss has reacted with the undercoat so it needs doing again, obviously painting isn’t my fort’e so I may as well chuck all the stuff in the bin and join you lads in the armchair with a glass of single malt.
windrush:
Well Harry I thought that all my cleaning and polishing stuff t’other day would have impressed my missus when she was brought home briefly on Thursday but she now informs me that the place looked no different! However she did ask why I had moved various items and told me to put them back as they were not where they should be, also she queried why I was drying clothes over the stair rail instead of putting them in the tumble drier “to save electricity dear” I told her, thinking that would get me a bonus point or two! “Well next time tumble them please, it makes them softer”, seems that no matter what you do it aint right, plus all these things will go into her Memory Bank to be brought out at some time in the future. Never mind, happen I WILL get something right ‘one day’ but that day could be a long way off! Oh and to cap it all I went and inspected my nicely painted window frame today only to find that the gloss has reacted with the undercoat so it needs doing again, obviously painting isn’t my fort’e so I may as well chuck all the stuff in the bin and join you lads in the armchair with a glass of single malt.
Pete.
hiya,
We’ve won one Riggers old mate it’s been a slog but our persistence has paid off.
thanks harry, long retired.
Dave the Renegade:
If Pete’s wife ever gets to read these posts, I can see a mass hanging happening in Matlock and several other places.
Cheers Dave.
She knows all about it Dave, went to see her today and I mentioned all the ‘helpful hints’ that you guy’s have passed on to me. Hanging WAS mentioned… but not by the neck! She commented that she hadn’t realised what an uncouth, idle lot of waster’s lorry driver’s are, the only ones that she had encountered in the past have all been ex tipper men who were (of course) perfect gentlemen!
Anyway names have been noted down in her little black book so just pray that she doesn’t visit either Dewsbury, Macclesfield, Buxton or Durham in the next few month’s, Dave is safe as he has done nothing wrong in her eye’s and Norman STILL hasn’t arrived so she is washing her hand’s of him altogether.
You have been warned.
Pete.
Humph, well you can tell her from me I think that’s a bit harsh and unnecessary when we are being kind and on our best behaviour…and I’ll buy her a pint if she comes to Dewsbury.
And Pete,…tumble dryer■■?..correct response =…“I didn’t know we had one my love”.
steady on there brian , offering to buy strong drink for a lady , some of them get quite aggressive when they have had a few ( mine does anyway ) . i’m puzzled though by your offer , a yorkshireman BUYING beer , i thought you all went for a pee when it was your round . my granddaughter has lived in sheffield for 5 years now and you couldn’t open her ■■■■■ with a jackhammer . cheers , dave
You cannot beat a tumble drier Brian, it saves me going out and hanging stuff from the clothes line that we no longer have since I broke it with the ladder while cleaning the launder out one year! Your money is safe as well, we neither visit Dewsbury nor does she drink alcohol so sleep easy feller, and I have some good mates in Yorkshire who have never been afraid about putting their hand in their pocket, if only to get a tissue out to stifle the tears when it is their turn to get a round in…
" She commented that she hadn’t realised what an uncouth, idle lot of waster’s lorry driver’s are, the only ones that she had encountered in the past have all been ex tipper men who were (of course) perfect gentlemen! "
hiya,
With the above comment still cutting me deeply would you inform your
Good Lady that tarring the “general haulage drivers” as wasters we are
an elite force who at all times conduct ourselves with the dignity you
can only expect from the creme’ de la creme’ and whilst imparting this
information you can ask her why tipper drivers can only ever wear the
rigger boots the answer is simply they can’t fasten their shoe laces.
thanks harry, long retired.
windrush:
Well Harry I thought that all my cleaning and polishing stuff t’other day would have impressed my missus when she was brought home briefly on Thursday but she now informs me that the place looked no different! However she did ask why I had moved various items and told me to put them back as they were not where they should be, also she queried why I was drying clothes over the stair rail instead of putting them in the tumble drier “to save electricity dear” I told her, thinking that would get me a bonus point or two! “Well next time tumble them please, it makes them softer”, seems that no matter what you do it aint right, plus all these things will go into her Memory Bank to be brought out at some time in the future. Never mind, happen I WILL get something right ‘one day’ but that day could be a long way off! Oh and to cap it all I went and inspected my nicely painted window frame today only to find that the gloss has reacted with the undercoat so it needs doing again, obviously painting isn’t my fort’e so I may as well chuck all the stuff in the bin and join you lads in the armchair with a glass of single malt.
Pete.
Magic Pete, pass the bottle!!! Looks like your good lady is on the mend, they only notice things when they’re getting better. regards Kev.
windrush:
Well Harry I thought that all my cleaning and polishing stuff t’other day would have impressed my missus when she was brought home briefly on Thursday but she now informs me that the place looked no different! However she did ask why I had moved various items and told me to put them back as they were not where they should be, also she queried why I was drying clothes over the stair rail instead of putting them in the tumble drier “to save electricity dear” I told her, thinking that would get me a bonus point or two! “Well next time tumble them please, it makes them softer”, seems that no matter what you do it aint right, plus all these things will go into her Memory Bank to be brought out at some time in the future. Never mind, happen I WILL get something right ‘one day’ but that day could be a long way off! Oh and to cap it all I went and inspected my nicely painted window frame today only to find that the gloss has reacted with the undercoat so it needs doing again, obviously painting isn’t my fort’e so I may as well chuck all the stuff in the bin and join you lads in the armchair with a glass of single malt.
Pete.
Magic Pete, pass the bottle!!! Looks like your good lady is on the mend, they only notice things when they’re getting better.
regards Kev.
Try and convert the windows to upvc Pete, they don’t need painting. Only problem is they cost a bit to replace your others.
Cheers Dave.
Hi, Pete,
I’m in hiding on t’wrong side o’t’hills, mate- she’ll never find me. It pains me to admit it, but I think she’s right about the tumble dryer- it’s the one that looks like the washing machine but doesn’t have any water connection.
Try not to look at the paintwork- in time you’ll find you’ve forgotten all about it. As to Dave’s suggestion of pvc windows, surely there’s some sort of grant you could claim out of Bewick’s Transport Training Levy? I reckon you could put it down as, “Air Conditioning Equipment, Replacement and Operation”. If Dennis is inclined to reject your claim, just remind him how much time and money he invested in trying to avoid the ■■■■ levy in the first place! He should be grateful you’re letting him get away with a few new windows.
Blooming heck Harry, tis a LONG time since Rigger Boots were worn! Banned everywhere in Construction these days lad, and I only ever wore them for one foundry job we ran to! She has only ever met tipper and tanker drivers from the days when she sold raffle tickets to them at our annual Dinner dances and they were all gentlemen, none ever told her to f*** off and some still ask after her these days, nearly thirty years on. Dave and ROF, the house has had Upvc windows for 20 years,(just renewed the front ones again) the garage doesn’t alas! We aint that posh! Oh and ROF, we spend some time in Cheshire at Astle Park, Smallwood and the Cheshire Show, also have a pal in Macc so we could find you if needed, sleep with one eye open!
Dennis’s Training Levy doesn’t seem likely to cough up much somehow, I don’t think that he rates tipper men even though he is only a ‘modified one’ himself. People soon forget their roots when they become a Multi National, second only to his pal Steady Eddie, so I honestly cannot expect the postie to be slipping a nice cheque through our letter box anytime soon, more’s the pity.
Anyway she may be home in a day or so and, as she always looks over my shoulder at what I am typing, there may be more comments coming your way!
windrush:
Blooming heck Harry, tis a LONG time since Rigger Boots were worn! Banned everywhere in Construction these days lad, and I only ever wore them for one foundry job we ran to! She has only ever met tipper and tanker drivers from the days when she sold raffle tickets to them at our annual Dinner dances and they were all gentlemen, none ever told her to f*** off and some still ask after her these days, nearly thirty years on. Dave and ROF, the house has had Upvc windows for 20 years,(just renewed the front ones again) the garage doesn’t alas! We aint that posh! Oh and ROF, we spend some time in Cheshire at Astle Park, Smallwood and the Cheshire Show, also have a pal in Macc so we could find you if needed, sleep with one eye open!
Dennis’s Training Levy doesn’t seem likely to cough up much somehow, I don’t think that he rates tipper men even though he is only a ‘modified one’ himself. People soon forget their roots when they become a Multi National, second only to his pal Steady Eddie, so I honestly cannot expect the postie to be slipping a nice cheque through our letter box anytime soon, more’s the pity.
Anyway she may be home in a day or so and, as she always looks over my shoulder at what I am typing, there may be more comments coming your way!
Pete.
You had better get to the chemist Pete, and see if they have anything for chilblains, it might work on thick ears Which you might have, if she reads this thread.
Cheers Dave.
However she did ask why I had moved various items and told me to put them back as they were not where they should be, also she queried why I was drying clothes over the stair rail instead of putting them in the tumble drier “to save electricity dear” I told her, thinking that would get me a bonus point or two! 
“Well next time tumble them please, it makes them softer”, seems that no matter what you do it aint right, plus all these things will go into her Memory Bank to be brought out at some time in the future. Never mind, happen I WILL get something right ‘one day’ but that day could be a long way off! Oh and to cap it all I went and inspected my nicely painted window frame today only to find that the gloss has reacted with the undercoat so it needs doing again, obviously painting isn’t my fort’e so I may as well chuck all the stuff in the bin and join you lads in the armchair with a glass of single malt. 
well you can tell her from me I think that’s a bit harsh and unnecessary when we are being kind and on our best behaviour…and I’ll buy her a pint if she comes to Dewsbury. 
Your money is safe as well, we neither visit Dewsbury nor does she drink alcohol so sleep easy feller, and I have some good mates in Yorkshire who have never been afraid about putting their hand in their pocket, if only to get a tissue out to stifle the tears when it is their turn to get a round in… 
regards Kev.
We aint that posh!