Norman Ingram:
I have got my own heating engineer, gas, oil, solar panels,electric, he is marrying my daughter, all the certs he has, cost £8000 every five years to renew, all the electricians, and plumbers do jobs and he checks them and signs off,he has a number registered they can check the job is ok. He put air condition in my conservatory so my wife don’t get over heated watching soaps. 
But he got me two taps, the lever type because my wife has arithus in her hands, I put those in in five minutes, he said why didn’t I wait until he done it, I said I only ask twice, I might have passed. by the time he done it, he laughed and said ,yes I have been busy just lately. I wouldn’t mind a part that has Angy sitted on my lap, I would tell the stories, and I would put my hand up her back and she could mime her lips to my voice. 
There you are Pete,told you Norm is the man, who knows a man who can do the jobs. Sorted.
Cheers Dave.
Thank’s for that Dave, in another 15 years or so when I am passed unfit for household DIY duties I will contact Norman. Might even pay him travelling expenses from Northampton, is sixpence a mile still the going rate? 
Pete.
windrush:
Thank’s for that Dave, in another 15 years or so when I am passed unfit for household DIY duties I will contact Norman. Might even pay him travelling expenses from Northampton, is sixpence a mile still the going rate?
Pete.
hiya,
No need for re-numeration Pete Old Norman has a bus pass like me
he travels for nowt plus He’s loaded he’ll even supply any parts.
thanks harry, long retired.
harry_gill:
windrush:
Thank’s for that Dave, in another 15 years or so when I am passed unfit for household DIY duties I will contact Norman. Might even pay him travelling expenses from Northampton, is sixpence a mile still the going rate?
Pete.
hiya,
No need for re-numeration Pete Old Norman has a bus pass like me
he travels for nowt plus He’s loaded he’ll even supply any parts.
thanks harry, long retired.
Don’t be so hasty Harry!! Pete obviously has plenty cash to throw around 
6d a mile 
I’m sure Norm would be willing to share his good fortune with his friend’s. 
Regards Kev.
Oh lads, lads, lads. I have to confess to shedding a few tears of pride after catching up with your posts on this thread. It makes me so proud to know that so many of us have got this Lazy & Old business down to a fine art. I had thought thar I would have to add a Grumpy Old ■■■■ module to my Overpriced Sheeting & Roping course, but it seems like you are all managing quite well without.
One exception springs to mind- I’m still a little unsure about young windrush. He does seem just a tad too comfortable with what most of us would consider “domestic chores”. Personally, I think Harry, having more experience than some of us, should have a quiet word in his ear, just to stop him sliding down the slippery slope before it’s too late. I’m sure we would all be devastated if such a promising young chap should succombe to the wiles of the female of the species.
Come now, lads, rally round and save our brother, windrush, before we lose him to The Dark Side.
You keep away from all those lecherous herberts Ang, just move over this way, where you will be safe.
Cheers Dave.
Retired Old ■■■■:
Oh lads, lads, lads. I have to confess to shedding a few tears of pride after catching up with your posts on this thread. It makes me so proud to know that so many of us have got this Lazy & Old business down to a fine art. I had thought thar I would have to add a Grumpy Old ■■■■ module to my Overpriced Sheeting & Roping course, but it seems like you are all managing quite well without.
One exception springs to mind- I’m still a little unsure about young windrush. He does seem just a tad too comfortable with what most of us would consider “domestic chores”. Personally, I think Harry, having more experience than some of us, should have a quiet word in his ear, just to stop him sliding down the slippery slope before it’s too late. I’m sure we would all be devastated if such a promising young chap should succombe to the wiles of the female of the species.
Come now, lads, rally round and save our brother, windrush, before we lose him to The Dark Side.
hiya,
I’ve tried ROF I thought I’d cracked it then he retreats to the garage and
against my better judgement he dashes out to paint it’s window and he
will get no encouragement from Norman who is still fully tooled up and
doing his DIY thingy about the house, Oh’ Pete will you never learn bone
idleness doesn’t just come overnight it has to be worked at and a quite a
long apprenticeship is needed to achieve perfection and if you don’t start
now you’ll find you’ll have to put a few double shifts in to qualify.
thanks harry, long retired.
I just cannot afford the time to learn how to be idle Harry, today I have vacuumed the house from top to bottom and cleaned and polished all the ornaments. Then fitted a new carpet gripper in the bedroom, washed down the cooker, washing machine and dishwasher, made dinner and tea and then it was visiting time again! Where did the day go? 
Tomorrow they are bringing the missus home to see how she will cope, then when she returns to hospital later in the day I can get on with a few more tasks. Tell you what, being a full time carer is a darn sight harder work than when I drove a truck around for a few shillings, before long I will be forced to take the ‘course in bone idleness’ from Harry or I will be totally knackered and no use to anybody! Can I do the course on line ‘H’ or does it involve parting with beer tokens?
Pete.
If you are really serious about attempting to mend your ways before it’s too late, I can assure you that there will be no requisite for beer tokens to be exchanged, just apply to Bewick for some of the Transport Training Levy that he hid from the MOTEC gestapo all those years ago.
I really do hope that we’ve caught this nasty “housework” virus in time. You know it makes sense. Do yourself a favour and listen to Harry’s wise words. Beware of what happened to poor old Norman- he’s now obliged to pour that filthy Scottish firewater down his throat as a penance for not heeding the warnings. And we all know just how much he hates that!
Be strong, young man!
windrush:
I just cannot afford the time to learn how to be idle Harry, today I have vacuumed the house from top to bottom and cleaned and polished all the ornaments. Then fitted a new carpet gripper in the bedroom, washed down the cooker, washing machine and dishwasher, made dinner and tea and then it was visiting time again! Where did the day go? Tomorrow they are bringing the missus home to see how she will cope, then when she returns to hospital later in the day I can get on with a few more tasks. Tell you what, being a full time carer is a darn sight harder work than when I drove a truck around for a few shillings, before long I will be forced to take the ‘course in bone idleness’ from Harry or I will be totally knackered and no use to anybody! Can I do the course on line ‘H’ or does it involve parting with beer tokens?
Pete.
hiya,
Can be done on line Pete, but the best way is in horizontal with a large single malt in
hand and a little light music on the CD player, Hope the Missus is on the mend it must
be hard work for you at the moment what with keeping the place just the way you like
it and the hospital visits seem to be on top of you before you can turn round, I still do
the school run for my daughter bring her to my house and her Nanna feeds her until a
Mam or Dad call to pick her up around the 6 o’clock mark there was two of the little
darlings until last Summer but now I’ve only got the one to bother about, us oldies are
just cheap labour, but that’s my limit and I soften the blow by telling myself that the
walks to and from the school are my daily exercise.
thanks harry, long retired.
Retired Old ■■■■:
If you are really serious about attempting to mend your ways before it’s too late, I can assure you that there will be no requisite for beer tokens to be exchanged, just apply to Bewick for some of the Transport Training Levy that he hid from the MOTEC gestapo all those years ago.
I really do hope that we’ve caught this nasty “housework” virus in time. You know it makes sense. Do yourself a favour and listen to Harry’s wise words. Beware of what happened to poor old Norman- he’s now obliged to pour that filthy Scottish firewater down his throat as a penance for not heeding the warnings. And we all know just how much he hates that!
Be strong, young man!
Well Brian I do get paid for doing all that work by the Government, about the same amount per week as I got for one days work 11 years ago! If Berwick feels benevolent then all will be gratefully received, I was unlucky enough to work for companies who couldn’t afford to fork out for the Training Levy so missed out on it then…I wonder if he will do 20+years back pay as well, worth a punt don’t you think?
Pete.
Harry- There is the thought in my head that a way out for our young pal, windrush, is instead of attempting to master the art of driving a Hoover, he employs that superior item of cleaning, the K’ARCHER power washer. If he starts in the back bedroom, works his way around the upper rooms, down the stair carpet, through the house and out the front door, he will not only get the place cleaner than it’s been for years, but the resulting slight dampness may just be enough to get him banned from “assisting” in household chores.
What do you think?
harry_gill:
hiya,
Can be done on line Pete, but the best way is in horizontal with a large single malt in
hand and a little light music on the CD player, Hope the Missus is on the mend it must
be hard work for you at the moment what with keeping the place just the way you like
it and the hospital visits seem to be on top of you before you can turn round, I still do
the school run for my daughter bring her to my house and her Nanna feeds her until a
Mam or Dad call to pick her up around the 6 o’clock mark there was two of the little
darlings until last Summer but now I’ve only got the one to bother about, us oldies are
just cheap labour, but that’s my limit and I soften the blow by telling myself that the
walks to and from the school are my daily exercise.
thanks harry, long retired.
Hi Harry, I have been doing it for eleven years now so used to it, however she fell in November and spent three weeks in hospital with a fractured left wrist. Got her home just before Christmas and she was slowly getting around a little, then I answered the front door three weeks ago and when I went back into the kitchen she had got out of her chair, fallen again and smashed her right arm! They have had to plate and screw it up and hopefully she is on the mend, they will not let her home until they are satisfied that she can get around the house as these falls are getting too regular now. I visit her every day, her brother who lives next door has been nowhere near of course! 
She has MS plus Ostio Arthritis in her legs and hands as well as four broken bones in her back that went undetected for years and have now healed out of position, so she has her problems! However we will keep going and I will keep cleaning etc until she finds a nice ‘toy boy’ to take over my duties ha ha!
Pete.
Pete.
