taking bl**dy hundreds of photographs
of Japanese knot-weed and ducks
before making them into sandwiches
with orange sauce and beer
made from squeezed pygmies` testicles
and served in small glasses
to the unsuspecting German tourists
who stormed through Stow-in-the-Wold achtung
after being chased by Altitude
hiya,
and embarked on a trawler
thanks harry, long retired.
bound for Lake Windermere looking
hiya,
for Nessie’ took wrong turn
thanks harry, long retired.
and ended up on`t Tyne
hiya,
where it immediately dragged th’anchor
thanks harry, long retired.
off the Tyne bridge support
hiya,
removing Gateshead from the map
thanks harry, long retired.
leaving a large gap in
hiya,
the North and South relationships
thanks harry, long retired.
where tAngel o the North
hiya,
stands getting rustier and rustier
thanks harry, long retired.